My Life in China.

Photos

2009-08-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

Two photos I took to prove that I'm in Shanghai now.

Argh, finding work in Shanghai is so flipping difficult. At least finding the job I want. Working in a university. Gawd, I'm still paying (or rather my dear mum) is paying for this kinda expensive hostel accommodation. The internet is often shite here too so it's touch and go whether I can upload or not. I couldn't even access my yahoo 2 afternoons ago when I flipping potential employer e-mailed me back. I couldn't reply until the next flipping morning. Frustrating. I'm so flippinged frustrated these days. Okay, I can tell you this, I AM FINISHED WITH BEIJING. I may not stay in Shanghai but I ain't going back to Beijing. 3 years there is enough.

Getting More Off My Chest.

2009-08-18T23:42:00.000-07:00

I'm writing a follow up to my previous posts here:

http://worldpaulcarr.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!2AA66E340D37A86C!2662.entry

http://worldpaulcarr.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!2AA66E340D37A86C!2661.entry

Ah, those fuckers. I guess they're cackling and laughing with glee about how they rubbed me off.

I'm in Shanghai now. I intend to find a job here in a university. Damn feckin' difficult. Anyway, I arrived last July 21st, I think. I flew in on a plane and the next morning I, along with many others, tried to see the solar eclipse but we only say clouds. Still, it was a total solar eclipse and the sky went completely dark more or less for over 6 minutes. That was good to see. Anyway, usually when I post to my blog (and I'm sorry I wasn't posting much recently or indeed anything recently which I know is a scandal but I write in my CV/resume of all places that one of my hobbies is updating my bleedin' blog!!). .Anyway, where was I?, usually when I post to my blog, I like to write somethings constructive. I guess I have a few constructive things to say. I'm staying in a hostel near Jing An temple in Shanghai. I have my own private room but it's costing a fortune. Like 220 rmb a night!! That's like 23 euros. My dear beloved mum is paying and, well, I told her that I'll look for a job in a university as an English language teacher as soon as possible. [sighs]. Anyhow, on a positive note, I will say that I found a gym beside West Nanjing Street subway station which I go to. I took out a month's membership. I've been going for the last 5 days solid which is damn good because for the previous bleedin' 4 weeks I did no feckin' exercise whatsoever so I guess this is something where I may be acclimatizing to Shanghai at least. Funny thing is though. I discovered a gym just around the corner from my hostel (literally just around the corner) *after* I took out membership of the gym beside West Nanjing Street subway station. Well, damn. I also bought a bike. A reliable Giant bike. I had one of those in Beijing so I think it's a good bike. But, again, a few days ago, I discovered that there was a bleedin bike store again just around another corner (liberally) to my hostel. I had gone quite a distance to get mine. A tip. Shanghaiexpat.com is a great website for finding info. Use the forum there. Packed with information. Also, I believe they organize coffee meetings on Saturday and Sunday afternoons for expats. I really ought to go to those. I lived in Beijing for 3 years and I am determined that there aren't any nasty surprises in store now that I have this plan to stay in Shanghai at least for a year. Just got to get the feckin' job.

Any tips about getting a bleedin' job in Shanghai greatly appreciated.

I hate those recruiter guys and yet, again and fuckin' again, I gravitate towards them. You know, that brings me back to that message board I was barred from at the beginning of July. I wrote about that in two previous posts. I will give the Boss of that message board/pub credit. He had his head screwed on tight. Stay away from those feckin' recruiters he would say. Get a decent job. So go DIRECT to the university or wherever it is you want to find work. Why don't I just do that? Why do I have to loll under this funk?

But, anyway, I want to get mad at this boss guy of the message board I was kicked out of. He called me a schizoid paranoid and refused to give me a reason why he barred me and wrote that he wouldn't read my reply (so I didn't send him one). I was thinking to myself. Why not apologize to him? Apologize to him for what? For speaking my mind, IN A PRIVATE MAIL crossposted to the Admin. Good grief!!

Oh, and the Admin. He dismissed my accusation that a particular commenter on the forum was "flaming/trolling me". He replied dismissively that I didn't know what a flame/troll was. I guess he thought that I was just fucking new to the computer thing. Those fuckers in that pub. I guess they're having a good eternal laugh at my expense. I guess like any bad experience I got to live it down. Could take months and months or maybe even years and years. BASTARDS. Should I apologize? Okay, I wanted my status upgraded to the member plus option. You gotta understand that I was kinda new to the message board thingy. So, yeah, I could apologize and say something like , "Here, my friend", or "Here, dude". "I'm new to the message board thing. I may have been too pressing and impatient with you for which I am sorry. Ha. One: he may not read it since he's already told me that he's not going to read my stuff. Two: Why the fuck do I always have to apologize to every fuckin' person? Forget, Paul, and move on.

His board was actually kinda good. There was a private place to discuss contracts for example and the boss himself did give stellar advice about not gravitating to those ubiquitous recruiter guys and taking those fucking jobs.

[sighs] I guess I just have to accept my status of being an also-ran on this board. HeHe I wish that this will be the last fucking post on his message board. There are other message boards like the Shanghai expat one which I think is better because it's more open and, for example, more Chinese people can post and contribute. I'll delve into that one. I hate now all the sucking up I did to that Boss man. BASTARD. I wish I hadn't done that. He'd just turn around and fucking stab me in the back. BASTARD. That's life I guess. Well, I hope he enjoys his pub and he and his friends/drinking buddies/mates are happy in his establishment. [sighs].

Anything else to write? Anything else for a schizoid paranoid to write? Hmm... BASTARD!!! You know I do see a purpose of a blog to let off steam. BASTARD!!!. He sent me a post on the 28th of June, this Yankee, this Boss man, telling me that I should say thank you more on his fucking message board. He was told this by anonymous sources. I should have seen that as a clear enough signal to get the fuck out of his board. If he doesn't respect me enough to reveal whose those fuckers are, then he doesn't respect me at all. And, he says to me, oh, BASTARD, in his final dismissive insulting e-mail that this is why I had to waite before getting the member plus option so that he can figure out if I'm a suitable candidate. AS IF I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW THAT ALREADY. Wanker.

After his e-mail of the 28th of June, I should have sent a reply along these lines.

"Well, if you're not going to reveal your sources, then there's no point in posting any more to your message board.". Or better still!!, not reply at all!! Forget him. But, I always try to make extra work for myself. Why?!! I fuckin' don't know. A lack of self-confidence I suppose. A believe that I always have to prove myself again and again. You know the affliction of the unloved guy. He has to keep knocking at the door to love and acceptance otherwise he will be left by the way. You know, the philosophy that says that you gotta behave like a selfish fascist to survive, the survival of the fittest thing. God I behaved like a fucking confused pillock with him, giving him his cue to call me a "schizoid paranoid" a little later on. What did I do? I'll tell you again. I wrote an e-mail that took me 2 fucking hours to write to disprove his point that I wasn't saying thank you on the board and that I was "blowing off" some of the established members. WHAT FUCKIN' BULLSHIT. Why should I fight this bullshit? Clearly, he didn't want me on the board with his e-mail of June 28th. That was fuckin' obvious. I should have just took the hint. But, me, I have to put on the struggling guy hat. I'm a struggler. I'm an eternal fighter. I'm a...a... schizoid paranoid. I had to prove to him that I was worthy of his love and acceptance. Well, fuck that!! Stop that shit, Paul. You are on your own certainly in this world just like any other guy who strives to be successful and happy. Love yourself, stop expecting others to grant to you, by waving their magic wand, their love. Fuck that. [sighs].

This post I wanted to write last week. And last week I wanted to write it the week before that. And the week before that, I wanted to write it the week before that. Only now, I'm gettin' around to it. Damn. [sighs]. Why do I put up with this? Stop trying to prove yourself to others. You're great. God loves you. You are accepted. You are good. You don't have to prove yourself in fuckin' contest. It's not a fuckin' Hollywood movie. Stop dramatizing things. Relax and open your eyes and discover that you are, indeed, love and accepted!!

And these fuckers, The Admin and the Boss. Maybe, a day will come when I will thank them. But, not today. Ah, well, that's life. Life is also about knocks as well as breakthroughs. Ultimately maybe even the knocks outweigh the breakthroughs because ultimately we will die. But, by jove, we'll go down fuckin' fighting. And this boss guy and the admin, laugh on. I'll bear my teeth and bear it. .

Now, that I hope I got this fucking funk out of my way, I can fucking well write about other things on my blog.!!

I hope.

Cool Teapot

2009-07-18T23:20:00.002-07:00

Here's the cool teapot I saw near Wangfujing street. It looks like it's floating. The water flows down around the support. Quite a nifty illusion.

Update

2009-07-18T23:20:00.001-07:00

Just an update on my previous post. With the wisdom of hindsight, I realize that I was relying too much on this forum. For example, I would reply to a potential Employer to inform him that I would have to "consult with colleagues" namely the forum I was a member of (before being expelled from it at the beginning of July). Really, I should learn to trust my instincts a lot more (if not exclusively so) when looking for a job.

Also, I regret now being too nice to The Guy (the founder of the Forum) and his Forum. I was doing a lot of "lick ass" (too bleedin' much!), writing things like "This is the best Forum in the world!" Damn it, I wish I hadn't said that, in view of the Guy subsequently banning me and calling me a "paranoid schizoid". (^)And, he thinks I have issues!!.

Also, I have no intention of rushing into a bad questionable job. I will take my time, if need be. I will hold my nerve. I hope to find a suitable job which will probably be teaching English AGAIN. .(^^)

What else to write? What else within the recesses of my brain needs to be dug up and written down here in electronic form as if these typed words would somehow liberate me from some burden of thought or resentful emotion that can otherwise waylay me and cause me to exercise one bad judgment after another leading to certain oblivion and further ridicule before being forgotten for eternity? I tried to be sincere on that forum when I was there. Maybe, I tried too bleedin' hard. (^^^)

Oh, one thing I forgot to write. I must admit I thought the Guy would have been impressed with my hard work posting on his forum and could possibly have promoted me to the membership plus option within his board, especially after I posted the whole series of e-mails that were sent between the FAO of a university I considered taking a job at and I. Not so. He sent me his expulsion "notice". But, he wouldn't give me his reasons why he was expelling me. Man, sometimes, I DO get it wrong about people. Aw well, I'm only human.

Let it go, Paul. Look ahead. Forget about these guys and move on to greater and better things. Don't let it get to you!

Paul Carr

(^) Gawd, I wish I hadn't been insincere like that.
(^^) I prefer to teach in a university in China.
(^^^) Was that it? I tried too bleedin' hard?

My recent expulsion from an online Forum.

2009-07-14T06:03:00.000-07:00

It happened over a week ago. I decided not to write about it sooner because I wanted to think about what the f**k happened and what I could have done to prevent it if anything. I'm certainly not going to identify the online forum in question, except to say it's a Chinese topic based forum. However, I suppose for the diligent reader who is willing to do some investigation into the matter, he/she may be able to figure out the place I'm writing about from the occasional clue I will lay down in this post. I'll refer to the head of this online forum as The Guy. I'll refer to the Forum as, you guessed it, The Forum.

Anyway, as I've written, I'm trying to figure out how this happened. I behaved naughtily? Okay, I joined this forum around June 4th or so (maybe June 1st not sure). My z visa/residence permit was due to expire on the 30th of June and so I needed some help from China experts on how I could get a job and/or extend my stay in China somehow. In the end, I took a trip to Hong Kong and got an L visa there. A 3 month L visa. I have to thank this forum for their help. Indeed, I thanked them enough when I was still a member.

I just don't know what I did wrong!!! Okay, I complained to the Guy about a poster who I felt was baiting me. I'll refer to this poster henceforth as The Poster. I cross-posted my series of complaint letters to the admin (I'll refer to him henceforth as The Admin), who was, after all, in charge of editing or deleting offensive posts and what not.. I thought the Guy would be cool with that. I complained in these *private* messages that there was a poster who I felt was baiting me. Okay, I did just vivid language describing this particular poster as a Rottweiler and the Guy as having trained him well.. But, again, it was private so what's the big deal? (^)

I felt I was responsible. I didn't engage in any childish behaviour on the forum itself, the public virtual forum in front of other guys. I have a criticism, I had some beef so, naturally, I sent some *private* messages to the admin and to the founder of the forum in question, the guy. Yet, despite this, despite doing the right thing, the responsible thing, as far as I'm concerned, the guy finally sends me an e-mail to write, among other things, that I needed psychiatric treatment (as I recall - I deleted all his stuff almost immediately afterwards). In addition, when I tried to log onto his forum, last I checked and presumably continuing so, I am greeted with the following message,

"Sorry Paul Carr, you are banned from using this forum!I've tried to find the nicest way I can think of to put this; "Schizoid Paranoia" is the best I've come up with so far. "

So, apparently, "Schizoid Paranoia" is the nicest he's come up with. What's the worst case scenario then? Murderer? Sociopath? Psychopath? I dunno. Yeah, he was damn horrible also in his final e-mail, I recall, regurgitating what he wrote above. Also, he wrote that I would be wasting my time writing back because he wouldn't read it. (^^)

I can't even visit his forum as a guest, I think, because my IP address has been logged (put on the naughty list) so I get the same message as above except "Guest" is written in instead of "Paul Carr". I can get around this by cloaking the IP address. Once inside, I noticed that the number of my posts remain the same. 155 posts, last I checked. It was 155 posts the last time I logged off as a member. But, my membership status has changed from "Member" to "&&&&&&&". Okay, I'm sorry I'm not going to reveal the imaginative descriptive word he used here, except to say it has 7 letters. I looked up this word in dictionary.com and urbandictionary.com and I can't find it anywhere. I find a simliar verb though in urbandictionary.com which has the definition of "To copy something with blatant disregard or to plagiarize a video game" and then there is a similar word adjective which has the definition of "to be in a state of *****". Here, I think meaning in a state of indecision. Sorry, I don't want to give the word away.

I don't think I've been copying anyone.

I think I know why he is using the words "Schizoid Paranoia" to describe me. Presumably, the Paranoia part is a reference to the fact I complained *in bleedin' private* about a particular poster on the public forum. Isn't that one reason what bleedin' private messages are for?!! So, I'm paranoid because I complained about a particular poster who I felt was baiting me and trying to annoy me. So, I'm paranoid for writing about this in private to The Guy and also simultaneously to the Admin, who is, after all, in charge of editting the posts and deleting any unbecoming posts. What's bleedin' wrong with that?!! I was helping them to do their jobs. If, for example, the Admin determined that a post I brought to his attention was, indeed, provocative, was inciteful, was a troll, or calculated to cause a flame war, then he could remove it. As it happened, neither he nor the Guy agreed with me at all at all that The Poster was laying down a troll or was trying to start a flame war. Indeed, they asserted that, the total greenstick that I was, that I didn't understand what a troll or a flame war was.

As for the Schizoid part. I got this definition of schizoid from dictionary.com .

1. Psychology. of or pertaining to a personality disorder marked by dissociation, passivity, withdrawal, inability to form warm social relationships, and indifference to praise or criticism.
2. Informal. of or pertaining to schizophrenia or to multiple personality.

Okay, let's get this straight. Because, I complain *in private* and not on the bleedin' public forum, that means I'm schizoid? Because, I behave myself civilly on the public forum but in private I express some unhappiness and displeasure then that makes me schizoid, then that means I have a split personality of some sort? Dear, The Guy, what are you on?! Presumably, if I had confronted the Poster (^^^) on the forum, had I picked a fight with him on the public forum, I would also have been expelled but presumably, I wouldn't be called "schizoid paranoid" but instead something else like "Mad-Dog". So, the Guy thinks, because I acted responsibly, even if he or the Admin don't happen to agree with my complaint or even if they don't happen to agree that I have grounds for complaint, then that makes me a "Schizoid Paranoid". [sighs].

You know, I'm shocked at how this guy had turned around to bite me. He was nice to me previously. Just a few days previously, he thanked me for my contributions to the forum. Only 2 weeks previously, he described me as a "stout yeoman" who had his head firmly screwed on even if he knew jack-shit about China. And from there, it was all the way downhill to bleedin' "Schizoid Paranoid" and only that because The Guy was in a good mood. What a Fall!!

So, you see, folks, how confused I am!! What happened!! Why my sudden so sudden precipitous fall from grace?

Actually, there were warning signs and I can see that now in hindsight. So, I can't say that I am completely surprised by what happened. I'm wholly shocked yes but not completely surprised. You see, I think it was June 28th, he e-mailed me and told me, first of all, that my contributions were welcome and would be useful for other users of his forum and then he went on to write about *anonymous sources* who were unhappy that I was blowing them off. He also suggested I needed to say "thank you" more. At the time, I was exasperated by this. I honestly thought I was bleedin' saying "thank you" until Kingdom Come. And I was!. The Guy apparently felt I still wasn't sayin' "Thank you" enough for his liking. But, with the wisdom of hindsight, the real participation killer on his forum was the fact that he was keeping his sources anonymous from me. Now, with the wisdom of hindsight, I should have realized there and then that THIS was the time to bail out from his forum for good and all.

Okay, at this stage, I could have written back and wrote something like "Thanks for your feedback, [his name edited out]. " Maybe, even throw in a completely sycophantic line like "I'll endeavour to do what you say in future". But, that's not me!! I don't lick ass!! For anyone!!. The real killer as I've written was the fact that he wouldn't reveal who was telling him that I was blowing them off (I think he meant here that I was ignoring their responses). In that case, why should I trust him since he plainly doesn't trust me? I could have written back to ask him, "What's to stop me from thinking that you're just pulling that one out of your arse,[his name edited out]?". I don't think I did that either.

[sighs]. At the time, I was just pissed that I mistakenly thought that my replies to him were being BCCed, without my knowledge, to his unnamed mates by virtue of the fact that I was just a member with limited privileges on his forum.. They weren't. I thought they were at the time. My Bad, but really there was something else in that e-mail he sent me on June 28th which should have sent me sufficient alarm bells that is that he was keeping the source(s) of the complaints anonymous. This was an expression of a lack of trust in me.

Bleeding unbelievable!! The admin guy got back to me at one stage to write, "Get over yourself" when I complained about a particular post sent by a particular poster on the public forum. Un fuckin' believable!!

Anyway, what I'm sayin' is that after June 28th, I was put on notice to behave myself, according to what the Guy prescribed as acceptable behaviour for me. [sighs]. In hindsight, yeah, I should have just stopped posting to his forum but I didn't. I continued to post to his forum and I think I posted responsibly. I posted, out of a sense of public service, regarding, for example, a job contract negotiation I was conducting with a particular university in Beijing. It was then during that thread, that a particular poster posted 2 posts which I regarded as very unfriendly, one of them inflammatory in my opinion. On the basis of that, I complained to The Guy and the Admin. And the Admin guy replied to tell me to get over myself!! Oh dear, I made a mistake to complain about this guy/the Poster?!! He wrote some stupid things. I thought I'd point these out to the Admin and the Guy. Unbelievable!!

Anyway, as written, I've now been barred as a result of my private messages to the Admin and the Guy and also because of the posts I made to the public forum. In my final posts, I reproduced the whole series of e-mails I exchanged with the FAO of the university I was thinking of taking a job at. They were quite lengthy altogether and I didn't think the Guy would mind. I felt, in terms of illumination of the job application process in Chinese universities, I thought it would be useful for other members of the forum to read. Anyway, as written, last I checked, I still had 155 posts but possibly my most recent posts in the Job contract section (which I can't view now because I'm no longer a member since I'm now barred) have been gutted out, content deleted or editted out in some way. [sighs]. Again, I have no idea why.

Oh, yeah, that reminds me of another thing the Guy wrote in his final e-mail. He wrote that he had his reasons for expelling me and barring me from his forum but he had decided not to tell me what they were. Ah, ........... I'm tempted to write something there. And, of course, he also wrote that I was wasting my time replying. So much for a right of reply. I guess he was anxious to burn down the bridge so that, should he have a change of heart about me later on, there would be nothing he can do as he's already burnt down the bridge to reconciliation or even just an apology. Yeah, kinda unnecessary actually to send me a bleedin' email, he could have just barred me anyway and typed out his little "greeting message"(as reproduced above) should I try to log in again but, I guess, he wanted to fire something off to let me know his feelings about me. (^^^^)

Yeah, a little childish, yeah, I think he is. I guess he wants a certain degree of control on his forum. He calculated that I was too much of a loose cannon so he cut me loose. To be sure, I've not even been in China for 3 years yet (I first arrived in China on July 21st 2006, I think) , so I guess my knowledge of all things Chinese isn't as keen as others. Ah, Paul, just dust yourself off and get up and continue. Take it in your stride. They found you not good enough!! Ah well, Paul, don't let that get to you!! They're snobs, they don't know what they're missin'. Ah, just a few days before finally being barred, I read about this young 26 year old lady in the introduction section. She has been in China for 6 years, speaks fluent Chinese and her husband speaks no English. I guess she's fine. She's the sort of member that The Guy wants!!. Oh, I forgot to mention that in this forum there are different grades of membership. Similar to other forums like Shanghaiexpat and others I suppose. You have membership status and above that there is a membership plus status too. Not telling you what it's called as I'm then giving away too easily the identity of this forum. I'll just say that this 26 year old Western lady (US?) probably will be promoted to the membership plus option very quickly! Indeed, she already got her first star very quickly as far as I can tell. Ah, Paul, don't let this get to you. They're superior! But, you can improve!!

And, the Guy!! A prick!! A pillock!! A...... Ah, what's the point... Let it go, you hear!!. What else to write about it? Oh, this word, &&&&&&&, I mentioned before, my new status. I've discovered I'm not the only one. There's a lady who is also a &&&&&&& so presumably is also barred. Yeah, The Guy told/wrote me, when we were still on speaking/writing terms, that he didn't like her!! I checked her post count. Like 3200 posts!! or is it 2300 posts. Anyway, a lot!! Okay, so it took The Guy 3200 posts from this girl on his forum to finally figure out that he didn't like her!! Me, it only took the Guy 155 posts. I should count myself lucky!!

I suppose I should say in the Guy's defense, he has a forum. I think he set it up about 2 and a half years ago. Possibly, at the beginning, it was a lot busier and because it was busier there were a lot of flame wars and angry exchanges that detracted from the purpose of the forum which was to illuminate and inform on all matters to do with China. So, the Guy probably has been clamping down assiduously on that sort of behaviour since or even the threat or hint of that sort of behaviour since. And, me, I was just next in line for the chop. For others, it may not have been "schizoid paranoid" but perhaps another choice insult like "mad dog" or something else. He wants a bit of control in the discussion in order to ensure good quality posting but can't one go over the top with this?

I also take note that, as far as I recall, he's the only bleedin' guy there actively posting there who uses both his first and his last name. As if he, Master and Commander, is supposed to have that privilege and no other. And, here's another reason why I may have stepped on his toes. I too was posting under my own first name and final name. I've been thinking this is another possible reason I was barred, because I was behaving too much like The Guy. In other words, as you can see in the Contract section, I wasn't taking any sh*t from an Employer I was dealing with at the time. The Guy enjoys writing the same sort of stuff himself about Employers in general in China. So, I was just behaving like The Guy. The Guy doesn't like that. He doesn't like a Mirror Image, apparently. There is only One Guy. Well, it's His Forum. He can do what he likes.

So, going back to that e-mail of June 28th, yeah, I could have been sycophantic, I could have said, "Oh, sorry, mate, I'll do as you suggest in the future", then he would realize that I'm just another shrinking violet he can bully and boss around and I could stay and even be promoted to the membership plus status but I decided after receipt of that e-mail that, no way jose, I wasn't going to stand for that!! Au Contraire, I was going to behave just like The Guy. And, for The Guy, that was one big big problem. After that, it was just a question of when not if I was going to be barred. And, remember, he kept his sources "anonymous" in his e-mail of June 28th. What's to stop me thinking naturally that he pulled his anonymous sources out of his arse? HeHe. [sighs]. Yeah, I wrote quite truthfully at the time that what he wrote was shocking. I initially misplaced my outrage on the point that I mistakenly thought he had caused me to unwittingly BCC my messages on the internal forum board system back not only to him but to his mates as well because I only had membership status. In fact, the disappointment and outrage should have stemmed from the fact that he kept his sources anonymous. Yawn!!

(^) It was a hard-hitting complaint, sure!! It was cruel perhaps!! That's why it was bleedin' private!! I behaved responsibly!

(^^) Talk about a guy burning down his bridges!!

(^^^) Incidentally, the Poster is well-established on the forum with over 4000 posts now. I, by contrast, was just a newbie, more or less. Just to be clear, the Poster is a different guy to either the Admin or the Guy. 3 separate people.

(^^^^) I have to conclude that the Guy was flipping angry with me!! Again why?!! My messages were PRIVATE!! I just cross-posted to the Admin. I thought he'd be cool with that. I thought that he would have brought the Admin guy into his confidence.

Letters About My Past - Letter 4

2009-06-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

Newsgroup: SCI

Name of thread: The Irish Christian Brothels revisited.

LETTER 4

http://groups.google.com/group/soc.culture.irish/msg/93421b273d61fd6e

http://tinyurl.com/ngoyzk

June 3rd 2009, 4:39pm

Thank you for your support, "Mothed Out".

I read a very good essay by Noam Chomsky.

Here:

http://www.chomsky.info/articles/20090521.htm

He writes,

"As long as such "exceptionalist" theses remain firmly implanted, the
occasional revelations of the "abuse of history" can backfire, serving to
efface terrible crimes. The My Lai massacre was a mere footnote to the
vastly greater atrocities of the post-Tet pacification programs, ignored
while indignation focused on this single crime. Watergate was doubtless
criminal, but the furor over it displaced incomparably worse crimes at home
and abroad -- the FBI-organized assassination of black organizer Fred
Hampton as part of the infamous COINTELPRO repression, or the bombing of
Cambodia, to mention two egregious examples. Torture is hideous enough; the
invasion of Iraq is a far worse crime. Quite commonly, selective atrocities
have this function. "

When the MyLai massacre became public knowledge in the USA at the end of
1969, when the photos surfaced of innocent men, women and children who were
killed or were about to be killed by US troops,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Womanandchildren.jpg

there was understandable outrage amongst the US public.

Yet, despite this outrage, other atrocities were being undertaken at the
same time such as the US bombing of Cambodia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Menu

which killed anywhere between 100,000 and 600,000 people and doubtless
paved the way for the rise of Pol Pot a little later on. Cambodians are
human beings too but where was the outrage? And the murder of Civil Rights
Activist and US Citizen, Fred Hampton, with the involvement of the FBI.
Where was the outrage for that?

We have the expression in English, "You can't see the forest for the trees".
Let's turn back to Ireland.

What happened in the Industrial schools in Ireland was outdoubtedly horrid.
But what happened there was a symptom of an underlying problem that is still
not being discussed in Ireland, as far as I can tell, namely the phenomenum
of endemic violence in Irish society, not just sexual and physical abuse of
children by priests in Industrial Schools and elsewhere, but violence in
many many homes in Ireland without the direct involvement of bishops or
priests. There is still endemic violence, I believe, in many families in
Ireland. Domestic violence, as far as I can tell, is still kinda a taboo
topic of discussion in Irish public and political discourse. Of course, it's
taboo. If it weren't, Ireland wouldn't be such a damn conservative country.
Domestic violence is another symptom of the underlying problem of endemic
violence in irish society. But, we focus in our public and political
discourse in Ireland chiefly on one symptom, sexual and physical abuse of
children by priests and other "religious people" in Industrial Schools and
elsewhere but we ignore other symptoms and, crucially, we ignore the cause.

We contemplate the tree of violence inflicted by priests on helpless
children in industrial schools, expressing justifiable outrage over that,
but we ignore the wide forest of endemic violence, including domestic
violence amongst "the laity", in our society.

I think one or two of you on this newsgroup have already stated that the
victims of sexual and physical abuse in Industrial schools have received the
short end of the stick. This is not surprising in a society where the
discussion is limited to one symptom, ignoring other symptoms and,
crucially, ignoring the cause.

And, it was the same with the Mylai massacre. When, the news broke in 1969,
there was public outrage. But, discussion was limited to that particular
horrid event. There was no discussion on the possibility of other and
bigger MyLais in other parts of Vietnam. There was no discussion on the US
terror bombing of Cambodian civilians which was kept "covert". There was no
discussion on government agents assassinating one of its own citizens.
There was no discussion on the fundamental nature of the US Empire or,
indeed, on the nature of any Empire. And, what happened with Mylai? Was
justice served?

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Lai_Massacre

"While 26 US soldiers were initially charged with criminal offenses for
their actions at My Lai, only William Calley was convicted. He served three
years of his life sentence." A day after his sentence he was ordered
transferred by President Nixon from prison to house arrest.

Certainly, if I knew about helplines back when I was 12 or 13 years old when
the bullying against me at my school had started, I could very well have
picked up the phone and called someone. But, St. Catherine's Vocational
School, as bad as it was, was no Industrial School. It wasn't that bad. It
was a mixed school, boys and girls studying together, which, I think blunted
the barbarism of the teachers against the students and also undermined
inter-student violence. My self-confidence collapsed in my first year at
St. Catherine's Vocational School and, certainly, a big reason was because
I was being bullied by new students who had been bussed in at the start of
my first year from places like Fintra and Bruckless. But, I think it would
have taken a little bit more than just some bullying, as bad as it was, by
students to trigger a complete collapse in my self-confidence around this
time. Fact is, there was also domestic strife in my home. My father was
unemployed (one reason being he had had a medical operation a few years
previously and was recovering from it) and my mother was forced around this
time to return to the workforce as a nurse. She was a nurse in Altnagelvin
hospital in Derry in the late 1960s before she met my Dad. There was
domestic strife. A taboo issue of public discussion even today in Irish
society I think. My mother and father engaged in blazing quarrels around
this time, 1985 and 1986. My mother wanted my Dad to get a job. But, in
fairness to my dad, times were tough and it was difficult for him to find a
job. He was one of those eminently overqualified guys. So my psychological
wall of defense against the bullies was being undermined at home as well.
The bullies breached the wall during my first year in 1986/87 and continued
to mind fuck me right up to my liberation from secondary school in 1991.
Yes, I remember the genuine emotional tears I shed, even in school in front
of other students and teachers, in 1986/87 as I began my descent into my
psychological prison. I was still human then and could still be saved.
Those tears I shed turned out to be tears of goodbye to my humanity. And,
yes, maybe then, I could have rang a helpline if I knew of one. I was
desperate for a solution. But, a little later on, say 1988/89, it was too
late. I don't think I could shed any heartfelt genuine tears about anything
by 1989. By then, I wouldn't have been motivated to ring a helpline even if
one was available I was apathetic, a zombie, indifferent to many
circumstances around me and psychologically walled in by impotent anger.

And, finally, let us not forget.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Womanandchildren.jpg

Paul Carr

Letters About My Past - Letter 3

2009-06-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

Newsgroup: SCI

Name of thread: The Irish Christian Brothels revisited.

LETTER 3

http://groups.google.com/group/soc.culture.irish/msg/91fb8a82b6d45477

http://tinyurl.com/lscgz7

June 2nd, 2009 - 4:45pm

Alright. I wrote before that if there were 5 votes on SCI, I would name
these misbehaving teachers. I've now decided to change the rules. One vote
will do.

Anyway, the school I went to between 1986 and 1991 was St. Catherine's
Vocational School.

I found this website here for the school.

http://homepage.eircom.net/~stcatherinesvs/

It doesn't appear to have been updated since 2000 however.

Man, I wore the exact same uniform.

http://homepage.eircom.net/~stcatherinesvs/Images/DeclanMcFaddensmall.jpg

The Principal of the school was a man called Joe Ward. He was appointed
Principal in 1974. And, he was the Principal when I went to the school.

Anyway, I found this website where the teachers of the school are evaluated
by the students and also perhaps by past-students.

Here is a list of teachers in St. Catherine's Vocational School. It's not
clear whether these are all present teachers or if some of them are retired
now.

http://ie.ratemyteachers.com/schools/ireland/killybegs/st_catherine%2527s_vocational_school

Anyway, 4 names sprung out.

One was the science teacher I told you about. He ear-wigged me one time.
His name is John Joe O'Shea.

Here are his ratings by the students.

http://ie.ratemyteachers.com/schools/ireland/killybegs/st_catherine%2527s_vocational_school/john_joseph__o%2527_shea

A mixed bag, as you can see. 2.4 overall quality. 5 is max and 1 is minimum
score.

I select some of the reviews.

"he does not have a clue.lovely man but cant teach biology atall.keeps me
smiling through the class but you need more than that to get a good grade in
the leavin "
"This man would turn albert einstein off science! he makes it all sound so
boring when science should be the most interesting and hands on subject to
do! "
"Did this man speak english. told us all we would fail, didnt. never tried
to teach only into sports not science."
"The guy who thought the green house effect would cure the hole in the ozone
layer, has no crowd control, surprised any passed biology. "

Yup, that was John Joe O'Shea, the Gaelgeoir from Kerry. Big into the GAA
but when it came to teaching science and biology he was found wanting.

Lets move onto Joe Ward now, the Principal.

http://ie.ratemyteachers.com/schools/ireland/killybegs/st_catherine%2527s_vocational_school/joe__ward

It appears the guy is still the Principal, at least up to 2007 anyway. Here
there are no surprises. Very poor reviews. His overall rating is 1.6. One
of the lowest ratings of all the teachers.

I select some of the reviews.

"Somewhat of a gormless, Montgomery Burns type figureMr. Ward does not mix
much with his subjects (students), this guy is too uncool for school!"
"Cold, unapproachable, has an obvious distaste for his students. The mind
boggles at why he is a teacher at all. Very grey. Almost John Major like. "
"terrible principle.hasnt a clue.really unhelpfull and horrible to talk
to.he hates students so dont know why hes in the job hes in.puts u in a bad
mood."
"he is terrible and should be fired. doesnt have a clue whats goin on.
gettin paid to do nothing. "
"No fun, no credibility, no character, nothing of note except the height and
the attitute"

I'll get onto him in a moment but first I want to get that damn geography
teacher out of the way.

His name is Frank McGee.

His page is here:

http://ie.ratemyteachers.com/schools/ireland/killybegs/st_catherine%2527s_vocational_school/frank__mc_ghee

And what really surprised me is that he had amongst the best reviews of all
the teachers. His overall rating is 4.7.

This was the guy who arbitrarily ear-wigged me one day because I had the
misfortune to be waiting for my next class outside his classroom and I
spotted him, (through no fault of my own) through the window of the door
ear-wigging other students or maybe shouting at students inside his
classroom. Ah, time wears down memories. But, anyway.

Here are a selection of his reviews.

"Professional at his job. Honest and fair. a great man. should have been
principle!! Never to be forgotten...... always has time for his past
students..... "
"Should be the principal. Can be scary but is fair. Helps those who need it
but wont take any dossin. Good and sound!"
"Excellent teacher, he made goegraphy really interesting and was excellent.
Also lovely man helped me through a really tough time.Thanks!"
"Great guy, was a laugh, and knew how to keep order, the red face thing is
true and you could hear if someone had got into trouble with him from a mile
away."
"great geog teacher and great v.principal, unlike his counterpart. run if
his face goes red, or at least cover your ears "
"Fantastic. Very fair understands students needs. Should have been made
principle years ago, it would be a much better school if he was in charge.
"
"Firm but fair best describes him.Great geography teacher would make an
excellent principal and knows a bit about the GAA! "
"Strict but fair. No B.S. Was always very helpful and showed a genuine
interest in his pupils. Legend "

Some faint references are made to his temper. But, on the whole, the
reviews are glorious.

I also want to summarize Gerry Rodgers. He was my history teacher as I
recall back in the late 80s and early 90s. He's a Gaelgeoir. And, as
already written, I really liked him. And, that is also reflected in his
ratings. His overall rating is 4.2.

http://ie.ratemyteachers.com/schools/ireland/killybegs/st_catherine%2527s_vocational_school/gerry__rodgers

Here are a selection of his reviews.
"brilliant teacher, would not be in college only for him. has a great
influence and well respected. made history enjoyable, and knows a thing or
two about soccer"
"very good teacher, makes you realise you need to think for yourself rather
than just learn it all and not understand it. You felt like he cared how you
got on."
"love gerry.excellent history teacher.dedicated to what he does and this
pays off on us students.tries to make it as easy as he can and cares so much
about us. "
"Really good history teacher. Knew his subject well. Cared about his
students. Played football with him in the mid '80. Bit of a Sami Hyppia
about him. "
"Class. Best teacher in the place. Made it all so easy and he even took time
to humour the messers.Most interesting and funniest classes ever"

I find it interesting the use of the word "care". That was Gerry Rodgers.
A fine human being. Great teacher. He cared about his students.

Whoo!! I'm glad I got all that tedium out of the way. :-D. Anyway, where
was I?

Okay, maybe, Frank McGee has reformed since the time I was "taught" by him.
I should be generous and open-minded. Maybe, he has indeed learned that
ear-wigging is entirely unacceptable and uncivilized behaviour. Maybe. I
recall visiting this ratemyteachers website around 2001 and there were a
number of critical remarks made about Frank McGee. I recall the statement
made then about Frank McGee "teaching" in his geography class that there
were no blue eyed people in Italy for example. Apparently, there are no
reviews before 2005 on this present website which is a mystery. I mean I
recall visiting this website in 2001 and reading reviews then of these same
teachers.. Interesting how if some reviewer doesn't comment, he/she often
just gives Frank McGee a brace of 5s (top marks) and interesting how the
opposite holds true for Joe Ward. If someone doesn't comment on him, he/she
often just gives Joe Ward a brace of 1s (bottom marks).

However, I think there may be another reason why Frank McGee gets such a
high rating. You gotta understand the psychology of Donegal. The Republic
of Ireland is to Western Europe what West Virginia or the Ozarks are to the
USA. It's conservative. And, Donegal is to the Republic of Ireland what
the Republic of Ireland is to Western Europe. Donegal is a conservative
bastion within a conservative country. Historically, in Dublin, if you're
unhappy with the established political parties of Fine Gael or Fianna Fail,
often you give your votes to socialist parties or social democratic parties
or the Greens or some progressive independents with sometimes socialistic
tendencies. Historically, in Limerick, if you're unhappy with the
established political parties of Fine Gael or Fianna Fail, you give your
vote to the PDs. In Donegal..... In Donegal, historically, if you're
unhappy with the established political parties of Fine Gael and Fianna Fail,
you give your vote to... wait for it... [drums rolling] Independent Fianna
Fail!! You know, I just don't get it. Donegal, I think, along with
Leitrim, are the poorest counties in the country. Their per capita GDP are,
I think, the lowest in the country. One would think that the people there
would vote for candidates who would favour more investment in the people and
resources there, perhaps higher taxes at a national level to pay for it.
Okay, yes, a little bit of socialism. But, no. We just vote for more
hard-liner Nationalists instead. And, in referenda, we vote more
emphatically against divorce, against a woman's right to choose and against
the Nice and Lisbon treaties, more emphatically than any other area of the
country with some room to spare. I also think more of us, by a margin, stay
home and don't bother to vote compared to the rest of the country. Apathy
has always been a friend of conservatism, in Ireland, as anywhere else. I
mean, honestly, what was the difference between Independent Fianna Fail and
Fianna Fail? Was the schlong of an Independent Fianna Failer a few inches
longer? Did the schlong of an Independent Fianna Failer extend down to the
knee for example? Did an Independent Fianna Failer drink 6 pints of
Guinness a day on average whereas the average Fianna Failer could only
manage 4? Well, that was Donegal North-East, a barren land. But, Donegal
South-West was little better. Remember Thomas Gildea?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Gildea

He got elected a TD for Donegal South-West. He campaigned on a single issue
of legalizing "deflectors". But, when it came to other issues, it turned
out he couldn't rub two brain cells together. In Dail Eireann, I think he
had the worst speaking record of any TD between 1997 and 2002. Thankfully,
he didn't run again.

Someone here on SCI a few days ago posted a link for the film "1984"
presented in 11 parts on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7Kznmrc3o4&feature=PlayList&p=E4948E22B36574CA&index=0
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four_(film)

Great movie based on a great novel by George Orwell.. John Hurt (great
actor) played Winston Smith. Richard Burton (his last film role and a great
actor) played O'Brien. Winston, a member of the outer party, is caught by
the authorities engaging in the crime of lust and sex and so he is tortured
and brainwashed of any remaining dissent by O'Brien, a member of the inner
party. And, even while O'Brien tortures him in the "Ministry of Love" and
drills into him that 2+2 is indeed 5 (or 3 or some other number), Winston
Smith tells O'Brien, "I love you.". O'Brien teaches Winston through torture
and dehumanization and humiliation that he must not only obey Big Brother
but he must also love him. In the totalitarian state presented in 1984, the
meanings of words are turned on their head. The Ministry of Love is
responsible for torture. The Ministry of Truth is responsible for spreading
lies and propaganda. The Ministy of Plenty is in charge of issuing ration
books. The Ministry of Peace deals with war. Let's take another look at
Donegal. The county is so conservative, so "out-there", so spiritually
hopeless, that the people there have to resort to turning things on their
head and imagine that up is indeed down and down is up. A conservative
becomes a Liberal in the fantasyworld of a Donegal man or woman.. The more
conservative he is the more liberal he appears in the mind's eye. Returning
back to Frank McGee. It's possible he hasn't reformed but the students of
that school have decided to transform his bad quality, namely wanton,
unprovoked, unjustified and unjustifiable violence against helpless
students, into a good quality - "scary but fair", "can keep order", "strict
but fair" and so on. By the way, I don't recall him ever ear-wigging older
4th or 5th year students or girls which, to my mind, makes his behaviour all
the more cowardly.

But, I want to move on now to Joe Ward. Frank McGee, as I recall, was kinda
the vice-Principal back during the time I was at that school from 1986 to
1991. Joe Ward was the Principal and apparently he may still be the
Principal!! Man, how things never change!!. To my mind, the success or
failure of a school rests to a large extent on the Principal, on the
decisions he/she makes. After all, the Principal doesn't, as a rule, teach
the students directly. He/she has office work to do. His time is freed up
to improve the teaching environment of the school, to set realistic
objectives for the school. Now, Joe Ward didn't ear-wig me. That was Frank
McGee and John Joe O'Shea, the Gaelgeoirs. But, Joe Ward was remote and
distant and I think you can also pick that up in the reviews that you read
above. A Montgomery Burns type figure. Yup, that's Joe Ward. Maybe, not
that extreme but getting there. HeHe.

Okay, now it's time for me to vent some spleen. As already written, during
my time in that school from 1986 to 1991, I was bullied by my fellow
students. I can give you some of the first names of these bullies. Enda,
Geoffrey, Trevor. All shites. As written, I used to stand and wait
outside the woodwork classroom in the morning and get teased and harangued
and hit by these guys. I couldn't avoid them. That was one time when I
couldn't avoid them. I had to be in class on time. Other times, I tried to
avoid them. I expended my mental energy during those years trying to avoid
bullies. I also calibrated it so that I avoided them but I didn't want to be
too conspicious in doing so. It might provoke the bullies to bully me more.
That, in turn, means expending more mental energy. So, instead of being
social, which would have been the healthy thing for adolescent boys, I
became anti-social because I wanted to avoid the bullies. Bear in mind, St.
Catherine's Vocational School was a mixed school!! Boys and girls were
taught together. And, undoubtedly, that was a good thing. For example, it
blunted the barbarism of the teachers. I think it also blunted some of the
inter-student violence too. I first went to that school, I think, in 1986,
if I recall correctly. I was 12, just hitting puberty. I think boys hit
puberty around that age. Anyway, for the purposes of this essay, let's just
say boys hit puberty around 12 years old. Girls a little earlier.

But, during my years in St. Catherine's Vocational School, I wasn't
interested in girls. I believe I am a heterosexual man. At any rate, using
Alfred Kinsey's scale, I think I'm about about 70% heterosexual and 30%
homosexual which I think is about usual for a man or a woman. I wasn't
interested in girls because I was being intensely bullied. Believe me,
there were plenty of gorgeous gals there. But, my brain, during those
years, was not wired to enjoy life, it was wired to survive life. Many
people say that secondary/middle/high school is often amongst the happiest
time of their lives along with college/university which follows (for some).
Not for me. Secondary school was an ordeal for me. You know how people say
"you live on the streets". Well, I was living on the streets within the
confines of school walls, if you follow my meaning. My brain was
configured in survival mode, not enjoyment mode. Undoubtedly, human beings,
under normal conditions, are social creatures and also sexual creatures.
But, during those years from 1986 to 1991, I was anti-social, you know,
non-social. I wanted to avoid the bullies as much as I could (without being
too conspicious about it). Under normal conditions, an adolescent would
socialize, take an interest in the opposite sex if they were that way
inclined. Under normal conditions, an adolescent would spend some energy, a
great deal of energy in socializing, kissing, snogging, petting, having sex
(for some). But, me, that all passed me by.

There was a lunch-break, I think, from 12:45 to 1:45 in my school. I used
to consider detention a blessing. One would get detention if one were late
for school in the morning for example. It meant that the bullies would leave
the school first to go into town (downtown Killybegs was 5 minutes walk
away) so that when I was released from detention around 1 o'clock, I could
walk without fear back to my mother's and father's home (which was on the
other side of town) without worrying too much about meeting those shites.
They would already be in a local cafe/restaurant having their lunch.

But, yeah, I do remember there were some occasions where these bullies did
attack me, in broad daylight, during lunch time, in the middle of Killybegs
town, FOR NO REASON. Yeah, there was Enda and Geoffrey and I think another
guy. And, then there was Trevor, a big cowardly guy, but he tended to hang
around with another boy.

You know the film, "The Shawshank Redemption"? Remember "The Sisters" from
that film? Yup, "The Sisters" remind me of Enda, Geoffrey and Trevor.
Remember that dialogue between Red (played by Morgan Freeman (great actor)
and Andy Dufresne played by Tim Robbins (great actor)..

From: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/moviefreak/shawshank.html

RED
Word gets around. The Sisters have
taken a real shine to you. Especially Bogs.

ANDY
Would it help if
I explained to them I'm not
homosexual?

RED
Neither are they. You have to be
human first. They don't qualify.
(off Andy's look)
Bull queers take by force, that's
all they want or understand. If I were you, I'd
grow eyes in the back of my head.

Recently, I was reading a very good book
which I recommend anyone to read. It's called "Open Veins of Latin America"
by Eduardo Galleano. I read the English language version, of course. This
was the book, Hugo Chavez, the President of Venezeula, gave Barack Obama
recently as a gift to read. I noticed though that Hugo Chavez gave Barack
Obama a Spanish language copy. Probably not a good idea as I don't think
Barack Obama reads Spanish. I could be wrong. But, anyway. Great book.
And, in this book, among many other things, Eduardo Galleano writes about
the terror of the Argentine dictatorship of the late 1970s under General
Videla. Under his regime, thousands (probably a conservative number) of
"union members" were "disappeared" i.e. murdered and their bodies then
thrown into the ocean so that their bodies could never be retrieved.. But,
in addition to these union members, sometimes, the military just disappeared
totally innocent people, not even union members, from poor neighbourhoods in
order to send a message of terror to the populace, a message of "not even if
you keep your head down, are you safe". Anyone below a certain income
scale, could be bagged and thrown into the Atlantic ocean. So, the bullies
who bullied me were kinda like that. They just lashed out at me for no
reason.

Now, I admit, I did have (and probably still do have) a lot in common with
the bullies. Whilst I didn't bully, at least not at school, (I just wanted
to be left alone by everyone), I had a similar attitude to the bullies, a
similar mindset, a stupid childish idiotic mindset. We were shites, all of
us, and we behaved accordingly.

Hmm, what next to write about? Have any of you gone this far? :-D HeHe

When I was 11 years old, I was actually quite a self-confident young guy.
Sure, I had problems, what kid didn't? But, I recall when I was 11, I
organized a football match on the local football pitch in Killybegs. I was
too self-confident to be bullied. 3 years later, I didn't even have the
self-confidence to go "down the town" to buy a postage stamp. The bullying
I was experiencing at school and, more to the point, the resulting
self-defense survival mindset I had adopted as a result had stripped me of
my self-confidence. I think the damage was done, most of it, the vast
majority of it, when I was about 12, during my first year in Secondary
school The following 4 + years were really just the denouement. The
damage was done when I was about 12. I could give you some standard
scatological reason as to why I suddenly and precipitously lost my
self-confidence. But, I don't think it was that simple. Naturally, years
later, I'm trying to rationalize what went on, what happened, what the f*^k
happened. And, I have developed a theory (which may be subject to change in
the future).

I went to the Niall Mor Primary School in Killybegs before going onto St.
Catherine's Vocational School also located in Killybegs. In Niall Mor, the
students only lived in Killybegs and its very immediate environs. But, when
I went to St. Catherine's Vocational School, new students were bussed in
from surrounding areas, such as Bruckless and Dunkineely to the East and
Fintragh to the West. And, that's when I got to meet for the first time the
eejits, Trevor, Enda and Geoffrey (and others whose names I forget and
didn't want to remember). [sighs]. They were bussed in from surrounding
areas.

In a previous post, maybe, I may have come across as being a little too
harsh on my Dad. I will say, in my Dad's defense, when I was around 13,
when the bullying was beginning, during my first or second year in the
school, I turned to my Dad for help. My Dad went to the school and walked
in, to his credit. I even saw him walk in the front door of the school
during the lunch break when the students were outside the classes and he
went to talk to that BASTARD, Joe Ward, and the other fecking teachers in
the teachers' room. So, the Principal, Joe Ward, knew I was being bullied
by other students. But, like your typical Fine Gael opposition, he was long
on words and short on action. I recall, shortly afterwards, he walked into
the Library where we had a class and he gave us all a speech about how
bullying was despicable behaviour and that he wouldn't tolerate it
and...then, after that, that was exactly what he did tolerate. He did
nothing. At least, nothing of consequence I could feel. I continued to be
bullied. And, even if I wasn't bullied, I was imprisoned in my mind, in
this self-defense mechanism I had set up in my brain to defend myself from
real or imagined bullying both physical and verbal that I had experienced
and was continuing to experience.

Regarding the ear-wigging malfeasance by Messrs McGee and John Joe O'Shea, I
honestly don't know if Joe Ward talked to them about their dysfunctional and
barbaric behaviour. He had to have known about it. Now, it's possible he
did have a private word with Mr McGee about it. And, I imagine that Mr
McGee's response would have been along these lines: "F&^k off, ye West-Brit
ye. I can do what I like in my class (or outside of it)." I would imagine
that Mr McGee would have followed this up with some Gaeilge gobblygook (a
torrent of curses if translated) to further confuse and bewilder Mr Ward.
And, then, nothing. Yup, the story of post 1922 Ireland. You see, Mr Ward
had a flaw. No Gaelgeoir was he.. I don't recall him ever speaking the
Irish language.

Honestly, St. Catherine's Vocational School was a really low-performing
school. Bear in mind, Killybegs was and is a fishing town.. You can smell
it before you can see it. My mother moved out of Killybegs around 2000 and
even between 1995 and 2000, I barely visited Killybegs once or twice a year.
Gawd, I hated the place. From what I read on wikipedia, the smell has gotten
even worse. Apparently, the smell of processed fish can be smelt as far
away as Sligo!!. HeHe. Sad to learn, that Joe Ward apparently is still in
charge. From what I see, its website hasn't been updated since 2000. I
wonder if the school is as shite as it was when I was there. With Joe Ward
possibly still in charge, I'm concerned that it hasn't really improved.

Okay, I'm not going to categorically state that there is this national
conspiracy or that there is a system in place and that there are certain
"in" secondary schools and certain "out" secondary schools and, if you go to
one of the "out" secondary schools, in the Republic of Ireland, then you're
screwed and you won't have a chance of going to Trinity College or the
National University of Ireland later on and becoming a doctor or a certified
accountant et cetera et cetera. I recall there was this very talented young
lady in our school, about two years behind me, who was probably going to get
a clutch of As in Higher Level subjects in her Leaving Cert. My particular
year was very very bad. I think there was only 7 students or so who went
onto third-level colleges. Maybe, a few more than 7. And, there was only 1
who finally went to university, to the best of my knowledge, and who
graduated from a university. Me. That's out of maybe 60 students in my
year. I can't remember the exact number.

Most of the boys and girls who went to St. Catherine's Vocational School
were from Killybegs. Their fathers were fishermen or who worked in the many
fish-processing factories in the town. The school was like a detention
centre for most of these students. It was like a holding centre for the
students and after they did their Leaving Cert, it was expected that the
great majority of them would, you know, settle back into a life of fish,
whether that be working in fish processing factories or hiring themselves
out as fishermen on the boats. You know, I can imagine that the charter of
St. Catherine's Vocational School would read something like:."Go Forth ye
students to the fish factories and gut ye some fish. In the name of the
Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen." HeHe. There was no academic
pursuit. There were no meaningful debates. Collective, class-based or
year-based projects, as I recall, whatever they were, were conducted
half-heartedly and lazily.

Now, I'm sure there were other students in my school, in my class!!, who suffered almost in silence bullying from other students and the teachers. But, we all suffered in isolation. You have the expression, "United We Stand, Divided We Fall." The U.S. Union Leader, A. Philip Randolph, talked about the need for organization. You need organization to take and get something from the banquet table of nature. Atomization serves the interests of the powerful. If one person complains, the authorities can listen and nod their heads and then they hope the problem goes away. But, if there are several complainants, and they know who each other is, then that's big trouble for the authorities. Then, really, they have to get off their arses. I simply didn't know for sure who those other boys and girls who suffered were. I had become so unsocial during my years in secondary school, I didn't even know the names of all the students in my class! I had become a pawn to the abuse and a participant in it, in the sense, that I was inactive to stop it. No doubt there were other parents too who complained to the Principal of the school but there was no sense of solidarity between the victims and the victims' parents because none of us knew for sure who the other victims were. We were kept divided and conquered and prone and frightened. Yeah, that was St. Catherine's Vocational School. You weren't trained to become an engaged citizen in the country. You were trained to become a disengaged citizen in the country. You were taught alienation. You were taught not to care about the plight of others. You were taught to turn a deaf ear. For some of us, we were taught to be shites. We were taught emotional and moral poverty. We were taught not to think for ourselves. We were taught that others always knew better and we should know our place and not complain. We were taught not to participate as active citizens in society. We were taught that we were powerless pawns of the powerful and we were getting above our station if we sought to change things. Yup, St. Catherine's Vocational School really pumped indoctrination into me. As written before, it was like living on the streets within the confines of a school building.

Occasionally, the knowledge we were taught in school came in useful. For example, between 1994 and 1997, I was a student in the University of Ulster at Coleraine in Northern Ireland. I studied media studies and theatre studies there. There is a train station (well, a hut I suppose would better describe it) beside the campus where you can catch a train either to the seaside resort town of Portrush, where I lived, or Coleraine (from whence you could get another train to any destination in Northern Ireland). I remember one night I was waiting by myself for the train to take me back to Portrush (a real beautiful seaside town, by the way. Well worth a visit).. In the distance, I heard this guy's faint voice. He was singing loyalist songs, "Hate all the Taigs" and "Kill all the taigs" songs. The voice got louder as he approached. He didn't see me at first. He arrived at the station and turned into the little hut which protected us from the rain and then he saw me there. Funnily enough, I wasn't really scared. I just casually looked at him for 2 seconds kinda disinterestedly and expressionlessly and then I turned away and look over the tracks, as if disengaged and indifferent. That way, my Protestant colleague picked up code that I was indeed a Protestant. (I'm of Catholic background, for the record. HeHe). He looked at me at first, humming his Loyalist Supremacy song, then he sat down in the hut to wait for the train like me, a few metres from me. After a few seconds, he also shut the f&%k up. Now, if I had panicked, if I had sought to leave the station at that moment, (the only way to exit was the way he had arrived), he could very well have attacked me. But, I didn't do that. I was too calm. You see, St. Catherine's Vocational School among its many valuable lessons it taught me, it taught me terror and to be calm and indifferent in the face of it. Yeah, indeed, I grew up "on the streets" within the confines of a school building.

When I left St. Catherine's Vocational School in 1991, I still had a lot of residual rage. One of the bullies I mentioned before was Trevor, a big guy. I remember once, perhaps only months after I "graduated"/was liberated from school, leaving my house in Killybegs, in a rage, with the intention of going to the local bar where I knew Trevor hung out in order to clobber him, to lay my fists into him. There was no other reason why I left the house on that particular occasion. Fortunately for Trevor (and for me I suppose), Trevor wasn't in the bar at the time and I calmed down. Yup, I was part of this diabolical system.

Oh and what a diabolical system of mind-control it was that I was subject to!! I remember when I was about 13 years old, walking home one day, by myself from school, around 3:30 or 4 o'clock when the school finished. Suddenly, about 20 to 30 students surrounded me, shouting and hollering. They were pushing me and screaming and laughing. They weren't friendly. I didn't get an opportunity to talk back to enquire what this was all about. And most of them, I didn't even know who they were - they were from different classes. What diabolical force of social control is this??!!

Okay, I'd like to get on to my father and then I'll lay into the Catholic church before closing this essay.

My father's violence against his family, I think, was actually only over a short period of time, say, 1989 to early 1991. I don't remember the time scale for sure. I don't recall him earlier in the 80s being violent towards his family. When he became violent around 1989, I think it was new for him. As written, my father went to St. Eunan's School/college? in Letterkenny in the late 1940s and early 1950s. My Dad was pretty convinced that St. Eunan's was not a school to go to. He was abused there (whether it be physically and/or sexually, I don't know) and he told me that he didn't want to send me there. So, he sent me to the local school, St. Catherine's Vocational School instead, the School of Fish and Dossers. The school where the teachers, from Day 1, treat you like a dosser, and then when you accord with their expectations as you inevitably will, some of them will hit you and shake their heads and say, "Oh what a dosser you are!! I really didn't know you were THIS bad!!". A school where the teachers were retards. Yup, my father sent me to that school, convinced in his knowledge that no school could possibly be as bad as St. Eunan's.

Well, it was. It was torture. It was hell. As written, at the beginning my father tried to do something, around the time I was 13 when I had already tumbled down the hill to disintegration and I was living in a comfortable manufactured bubble world/fantasy world my brain had set up as a self-defense mechanism. He talked with Joe Ward, the Principal. And Joe Ward did nothing. He just politely nodded his head, give a speech later to the students about how bad bullying was and teen he went back to the ivory tower of his office.

You know, we, Irish, are passionate movie-goers. Guys, especially, love the gangster movies. Me, I loved the early movies of Robert DeNiro. I could relate to psychopaths and sociopaths like Vito Corleone (played by De Niro in Godfather II in 1974)and Travis Bickle (played by DeNiro in 1975 in TaxiDriver). Do you remember the scene in the First Godfather movie? Sony Corleone, played by James Caan (great actor), beats the shit out of Carlo Rizzi, who was married to Sony's sister, because he had beat the shit out of her. Sony Corleone gives him a good kicking and then, exhausted, his rage spent, he points his finger at Carlo Rizzi, prone and in pain lying on the pavement and says, "you touch my sister again [pregnant pause] and I'll kill you.". Yup, I wish my Dad had done that to Frank McGee. Give him a good kicking and then say to him as he lay dazed and disoriented on the ground, "You touch my son again, [pregnant pause], and I'll kill you". Men more so than women, I think, measure love in terms of action not words. If my Dad had done that to Frank McGee, I would have respected my Dad. I would have thought, wow, my Dad really knows how to stand up for me, a helpless 13 year old or 14 year old kid, who just wants to study and graduate and go to university. Unfortunately, that's Ireland. In the past and possibly still now, we idolize those who break the law, those who fight against the law, those who take the law into their own hands. This has become integrated into our very self-identity. My father, like many Irish men, was proud of bending the rules, after all, that damn Government doesn't care for the little people, they just want your damn money.

A few months before he died in November 1991, my Dad was driving us to golf practice in Fintragh (we often did this and my dad often went to Portinoo golf club, near Glenties to play golf and I often caddied for him). My Dad said to me, in his sweet voice, "Paul, do you love me?". I replied, "What are you talking about?". He said, "Paul, I may die in the next few months.". I told him, "Oh, you're not going to die, don't worry." As it turned out, he was right and I was wrong. Yeah, that was my Dad. It was never his fault. His Love for his family was never in question and should never be questioned. If I had talked back to my dad and said, "But, Dad you don't love me so why should I love you?". My Dad's sweet voice would quickly have given away to temper. My Dad was the centre of the universe. His family could never be his equals. I could never been his equal. St. Eunan's, to my Dad's mind, was the worst fecking school on the planet because he went there. St. Catherine's Vocational School could never compare. I wanted to go to university but my Dad never really reaffirmed my ambition. As I recall, he was kinda indifferent to what I wanted to do after secondary school.

From 1988 to 1989, my Dad went to Paris, France where his younger brother owned a restaurant. He worked for his brother in Paris for about a year. I have no doubt he got out of Ireland because he felt that he wasn't being very helpful to his family. My life was being destroyed and was destroyed in St. Catherine's Vocational School and he didn't care. Okay, maybe, he did care and maybe this unhappiness brought him to an early grave. He was only 57 when he died in 1991. He couldn't express his frustation about my troubles because that's not the sort of thing a good Catholic man does. He'd rather not think about it. He got out of Ireland. The master of the house took a well-deserved break. And, a year later, around 1989, he decided to come back and, before doing so, he had resolved that if that shit, his son, Paul Carr, dared complain about more abuse in St. Catherine's Vocational School against his person, he would clobber him. And, that was what he did. And, he hit my mother and my sister as well. To be honest, regarding my brother, I'm not sure if he was hit, but I think the psychology of violence dictates that all who are in a powerless position in relation to the perpetrator of violence have to be hit. So, as if the violence from students (after 1986) and the occasional violence of teachers weren't enough, for about a year and a half, I had to contend with some clobbering from my Dad as well, at least, until the start of 1991.

I'm not going to condone what my Dad did to me and other members of my family. I unequivocably condemn it. I don't want to give you the impression that he was this guy who enjoyed beating his family like a psychopath in the movies. There was a measure of "provocation". My mother would tell him, for example, to get a job and 'he'd start". (Donegal expression meaning lose his temper) Me, I'd tell him I was getting beaten in school maybe in a provocative way like shouting. My Dad didn't want to know. I was a Bad Catholic Boy. I should have been singing and whistling and playing GAA games and doing horseplay with the boys in the fields and in the locker rooms. HeHe. Yup, my Dad enjoyed some of those beatings he gave me. He had no plans for returning back to Paris, an exile his ungrateful son had helped force him into.

So, really, we have to get back to the fundamental question. What happened? Back in 1985, I was this self-confident young boy, organizing football matches on the local football pitch. 3 years later, I didn't have to self confidence to buy a postage stamp from the local post office. My view is is that I was screwed one way or the other. I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I was like a horse on the race-track and when the fence of puberty reared up before me in 1985/86, I had to make a jump. I failed to clear the fence. It wasn't even close. The next few years, I continued to pathetically drill against this fence that impeded my progress. I couldn't cross it. Interestingly enough, my younger brother, crossed the fence but then he careered off the race-track. He became an artist. HeHe.

What happened? Why couldn't I cross the fence? Why couldn't I enter the verdant pastures beyond of adolescence, of taking an interest in girls, in love, in thinking constructively about my future career? I'm sorry to say this but I have to lay some of the responsibility for this at the door of my parents.

The Republic of Ireland is a Catholic country. The percentage of people who are sexually repressed in this country is huge. If I were to put a number to them, I would say, 30% to 40% of the adult populaton of the Republic of Ireland. I think this percentage would be the highest by far in the OECD. Both my mother and father were sexually repressed and my mother remains so to this day. And, it gets worse. The sexually repressed take a keen interest in the mechanics of power, in the slipstreams of power-politics and how to use these to rise to the top of organizations, especially political organizations. They are consummate ass-lickers if to lick someone's ass would lead to career advancement a little later on. So, when we turn to Irish politicians, both national and local, the percentage of the sexual repressed amongst them could be as high as 60%!. How do I know this? I know this because I was sexually repressed myself at least until I was 32 so I believe I have an insight into their mindset. Are these sexually repressed people zombies? Yes, they are. Do they physically and sexually abuse others? No, they don't but those who do physically and sexually abuse others almost exclusively come from their ranks. Just like, nowadays, terrorists, at least how we define them "i the West" almost exclusively come from Muslim countries.

I think I may have had this wrong idea about my father for many a year. I think my brother too had the wrong idea about him. I had always believed that my father was kinda a goat (had many sexual partners) before he got married to my mother in January 1970. He was 35 when he got married. My father was a seaman in his younger days, a communications officer on an oil-tanker or something like that.. He seems to have had many a girlfriend at the various ports where his ship docked. I saw pictures of him with various pretty girls in photo albums. And, shortly before he died, he took me to see one of his "old flames" in Donegal. But, now I'm thinking, was this all for show? Now I'm thinking that my Dad, when he finally got married when he was 35, was in fact a virgin. Sure, like a Good Catholic man, he would have kissed some girls at various ports but nothing further. Girls may have been left heart-broken by him. I imagine the port-calls would have been short. He was a handsome man, I suppose. He wouldn't have had any problem finding pretty female admirers even after he began to lose his hair. But, the height of his "naughtiness" would have been a faint embrace and a kiss on the lips. You know like Frank Sinatra in the movies. My Dad was a big Frank Sinatra fan. I'm not saying that he deliberately misled me and my brother. I'm just saying that over the past week, I've been doing a lot of thinking on this time period of my life and I think it's healthy to question, to reconsider, and maybe to revise assumptions which you had believed to be facts.

Is it the case that my Dad was a sexually repressed man? I think so. I think he had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old. My mother too and she still does. Sexual Repression cuts across all social groups and both genders. You'll find the sexually repressed in all social groups. But, while my Dad was sexually repressed, he was a good Catholic man.

Eamon DeValera made many mistakes. But, perhaps, his biggest mistake was his decision to put a clause in the Irish Constitution recognising the special position of the Catholic church. DeValera mistakenly believed that he could compromise with the Pre-Vatican II Catholic church. The Catholic church believed that its teaching was intrinsic truth whereas DeValera sought to recognise the special position of the Catholic church because it was the belief held by the great majority of the country. The Pope of the day kept an indignant silence. Democracy, huh!! We're right, everyone else is wrong, no discussion.

It took us to 1973 to finally cop on and change the Constitution to remove the special position of the Catholic church. It took us to 1979 before our Government finally legislated for contraception. The famous Irish solution to an Irish problem. Apparently, at the beginning you needed a doctor's prescription to get contraceptives in the chemist before the law was loosened in 1985. It took us to 1995 before we removed the constitutional ban on divorce. And, there is no woman's right to choose to have an abortion in this country. How many women are going abroad "To England" for an abortion? Thousands? Just like in the 1990s or the 1980s. Yes, constitutionally, we can't stop ye now, we can't prevent you from getting ahold of information about abortion services abroad, but the as-if-official message of our Government, of our State, of our People to these women, who are going abroad remains, 'Away with Ye to Perfidious Albion, Ye Fallen Woman Ye.". Meanwhile, the man who got her pregnant might be considering a lucrative career in Fianna Fail. Aye, a key to a successful career in Irish politics, a few skeletons in the closet. Talk about compassion. The Catholic church talks about compassion but, in Ireland, where our Government enabled the Catholic church to exercise unprecedented power, its message was one of condemnation, moral poverty, sexual repression, sexual abuse and loveless marriages.

After Vatican II, the Catholic church moved in a more ecumenical direction, recognising the validity of other Protestant churches. Pope John XXIII sought to open a dialogue with other churches but the price he had to pay for this heretical liberalism, the pound of flesh he had to give to the conservative wing was the continuing "ostrich head in the sand" approach to human sexuality and related matters such as abortion and contraception.. On these matters, the Catholic church continues to live in the Dark Ages.

The SaorStat Eireann constitution from 1922 to 1937 was better in the sense that, at least, there was no special position for the Catholic church recognized.. On the other hand, I don't think there was an explicit declaration of the division of church and state. We should have done that, like the French did. But, we didn't. We didn't go the way of the French. It never entered our consciousness to do that. Why, the Catholic church were our heroes during the centuries of British oppression. We turned to our priests and bishops for guidance and leadership and for our very identity. As we lost our language, at least, we held close to our bosom our Catholic ritual. Naturally, soon after independence, we'd give them the keys to the front door.

I think DeValera's recognition, in the Irish Constitution of 1937 (a constitution we still have with a few amendments) of the special position of the Catholic church in the Irish state was very significant and very injurious to the social and mental well-being of the country in the second half of the 20th century. Catholic priests are supposed to be celebate and still are supposed to be. But, because De Valera gave the Catholic church explicit recognition in the constitution of 1937, it was as if the whole population now of the Republic of Ireland had to be celibate like the priests. We all became priests. Celibacy became the in-thing for everyone. Sexual repression was de rigueur for everyone, not just the priests. Needless to say, I think celibacy is an unnatural condition, a denial of human nature, a perversion in itself. And this so-called virtue was inflicted on the general population for decades by trumpeting Irish politicians as well as priests and bishops.

It took us to the 1970s and 1980s to start to wake up. In my school, I remember we did have a sex education class. Around 1988. I don't remember how long it lasted. 15 minutes? Boys and girls were divided. Our woodwork teacher gave us our class. I can't remember the details. I do recall him saying something like, "Don't lie on top of the woman or you'll crush her.". What a laugh!! All the students agreed. It provided plenty of mirth for the rest of the week.

The only difference between the Catholic church and the Church of Scientology is that the Catholic church is a little older. Both are businesses. And this was the Catholic church that De Valera mistakenly sought to compromise with in 1937. A church that is simply unable to compromise because its doctrines didn't broach compromise. I think Poland nowadays is making the same mistakes as Ireland was and is doing.. For example, I believe in Polish state schools, upon the insistence of the Catholic church, Catholic doctrine has to be taught, whether that be in isolation or together with other faiths I dunno. But, let me tell you, "religion class" was one boring class all of us had to endure in the late 80s. Our religion teacher was actually a nice man, a recovered alcoholic and, like Gerry Rodgers, the history teacher, he was a genuine human being. Yeah, he was a retired Catholic priest too!!. I liked him. Like the history teacher, he had the intelligence and the humanity to recognise I was being bullied not just in school but at home too. He knew. Anyone who had two brain cells to rub together knew. So, that meant that 80% of the teachers in my school didn't know. But, that is beside the point. Although, the religion teacher was a nice man, most of the time, he just let us do our homework during this class. I'm sure he had lots to teach but, really, teenagers are not interested in church doctrines. They're interested in philosophy, if taught the right way, and science. Church doctrines? That's for the esoteric. The religion teacher had copped onto this and so just let us do our homework. In return, us grateful students, played hush hush and didn't rat on him to the Principal.

Thank you for reading.

Paul Carr

Letters About My Past - Letters 1 & 2

2009-06-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

Newsgroup: SCI

Name of thread: The Irish Christian Brothels revisited.

LETTER 1

May 25, 2009 - 8:21pm

http://groups.google.com/group/soc.culture.irish/msg/b0217d0c9232c316

http://tinyurl.com/lgqttd

I wasn't sexually abused in school but I was physically abused. For
example, when I was around 14, I remember I was waiting dutifully
outside the classroom waiting for the next class to start. The door
had a window and, inside, I could see our Geography teacher ear-
wigging some of his students. He was notorious for doing this.
Indeed, he was proud of it and was happy to have acquired this
reputation amongst his students and fellow teachers for doing this on
a regular basis. He was a Gaelgeoir. I remember his name and if there
are 5 votes on SCI, I'd be happy to name him here. Anyway, he saw me
and came out of the class and started to ear-wig me. I mean, what did
I do wrong?!! I was just waiting for the next fecking class!! In
other words, I was being a good student. But, being a good student
was the wrong thing to be doing at that particular moment in time.

In a modern industrialized society where the rule-of-law is respected
and enforced, I imagine that this sort of behaviour my geography
teacher was engaging in would be totally out-of-bounds. He would have
gotten a one week suspension, scrub that, a 4 week suspension without
pay, for that misconduct.. But, no, no, no, not in Ireland. This
sort of behaviour was par for the course and normal behaviour.
Indeed, such rough behaviour was encouraged amongst the teachers.
Years later, I discovered a website (I think I got the tip-off on SCI,
thank you for that) where teachers and secondary schools were reviewed
by past students. I discovered that I wasn't alone in feeling that my
geography teacher was a wanker and a pillock. In fact, it was almost
a consensus view of those past-students who posted on the message
board who knew of him and had the misfortune to be "taught" by him
that indeed he had some issues.

I was reminded of something else about him. He once told our
classroom, in geography class, with a totally straight face, that
there were no blue-eyed people in Italy. I kid you not! He said that,
"There are no blue-eyed people in Italy". He actually believed that.
In addition to engaging in misconduct and unprofessional behaviour and
all that, he was thick to boot. If any student dared to fact-check
him, he would surely have been ear-wigged or worse for impudence.

Okay, yes, it's true. There were good teachers in my secondary school
too. They were beacons of light. But, they were beacons of light
BECAUSE they were the exception. My guess is that at the time I was
going to secondary school in the late 80s and early 90s, about 20% of
the teachers were outright bad teachers, like the geography teacher I
wrote about above. About 20% more were good teachers and about 60%
were, well, I would describe them as shite teachers but, at least,
they weren't actively bad in the sense that they were beating their
students or worse, engaging in sexual abuse and so on. Okay, in my
school, I do recall there was a good teacher. He was our history
teacher. He was also a Gaelgeoir. He actually valued the job he was
doing. He saw his function as to teach, not to make money, or
complain that he wasn't making enough money. He enjoyed his job. He
knew his subject area but he was humble enough to admit to his
students that he wasn't the all-knowing fount of knowledge on the area
either. More importantly, he saw his role as setting a good example
to his students in his day-to-day professional conduct. I don't
recall him ever losing his cool like the shite geography teacher I
mentioned above. He accepted that there were more than one point-of-
view on a particular issue.

Unfortunately, I think the majority of teachers (80%) back in the
days I was at school didn't value their jobs as teachers. For them,
teaching was an inconvenience. They whined and complained that they
weren't getting enough money. Of course, they complained about the
students who were rude and bold and didn't want to learn, blissfully
ignorant of the fact that they had nothing to teach them. They
complained about their perceived social mores where the students were
the "youth of the country", the "young blood", "the future", "the
lifeblood" of the country. They resented this. Why should the
students they "taught" be considered so important? They scratched
their heads. They had a casual approach to teaching. However, they
were not the 20% minority who were out-and-out bad teachers. Social
mores, rules of social decency, social stigma, a fear of the
retribution of the law prevented these teachers, even if they wanted
to, to raise their hands and strike their students or worse..
However, clearly, they were uninspired, in contrast to the history
teacher I wrote about. My geography teacher however undoubtedly
belonged to the 20% minority of obviously bad eggs. And he was never
ever apologetic about his bad behaviour. In fact, in time, he was
promoted within the school to become the vice-Principal (maybe the
Principal in time but I wasn't following his career) I don't know
where he is now. Is he dead? Is he alive but retired? Is he alive
and still teaching? I dunno and frankly I don't care. He was about
50 or so at the time he was "teaching" me in the late 80s and early
90s. My guess is that he is unreformed and still thinks that he was
doing (and is doing?) the right thing. Physical abuse of students is
just a-okay, otherwise they'll just get out-of-hand and enter a life
of crime. They're shites after all. But, what he probably still
fails to understand is that he helped make them into shites.

This 20% minority of teachers indeed had an active philosophy. Their
philosophy was that the students they taught were worthless and needed
to be dragged down to their own level of indecency and stunted
emotional and sexual growth. The 60% majority of teachers who were
lazy and indifferent also had the same active philosophy because they
did nothing. And, then you had the 20% minority who were the beacons
of light and the bearers of hope in the midst of hard times.

Reading into the "Commission to Inquire Into Child Abuse" on
wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commission_to_Inquire_into_Child_Abuse,
the report found that, "beyond a doubt that the entire system treated
children more like prison inmates and slaves than people with legal
rights and human potential"

Human potential!! Students have..... human potential?!!. Try telling
that to the 80% of the teachers who taught me in secondary school in
the late 80s and early 90s, they'd look at you as if they were from
the Planet Neptune, or the dwarf planet Pluto, or the Planet Zog.
Students are... shite. That's easier for them to digest. Maybe,
things in schools are a little better these days. I hope so.

Paul Carr

Newsgroup: SCI

Name of thread: The Irish Christian Brothels revisited.

LETTER 2

http://groups.google.com/group/soc.culture.irish/msg/7f19a086d4116f95

http://tinyurl.com/mun8jw

May 27th,2009 - 9:54pm

Gotta say, Jochen, this whole discussion is taking its emotional toll
on me. You're right. We invent a vocabulary extraneous to the
English language, words like "divine" or word-combinations like
"divinely ordained". And then guys say, "Okay, this is wrong, but it
is divine." or "this is wrong but it's divinely ordained". That way
we turn wrong into right. That way we can reason, "this is wrong but,
in fact, it's right." because it's divinely ordained.

Really, my heart goes out to all of you who have been sexually
abused. Man, I can't imagine how horrible that is. In my view
however, sexual abuse, horrible as it is, is merely a subset of
violence. It is of course a particularly vicious subset of violence.
Physical violence, I think, often has the same effects as sexual
violence. Perhaps, however, one needs to receive more physical
violence in order to receive the same negative effects (&) over time
than would be the case with sexual violence.

Earlier on this thread I wrote about the nasty Geography teacher I had
the misfortune to be "taught" by.. [sighs]. To be honest with you,
as bad as the occasional abuse I received from some of the teachers in
my comprehensive/secondary school in Killybegs, County Donegal, was,
that was nothing compared to the violence I received from my fellow
students and from my own father. My geography teacher simply wouldn't
have had the time to beat/ear-wig me every day of the school week. He
had hundreds of students to go through. There were other bad teachers
in my school. My science teacher, for example, was a Gaelgeoir from
Kerry. Another idiot. He earwigged me (for the record, earwigging
involves twisting the earlobe of a victim until pain registers on the
victim's face and then go beyond that)(&&). He earwigged me one time
because he mistakenly thought I had done something wrong. In fact, it
was another boy. Later, he was man enough to apologize to me.
However, I still think he should have got a 4 week suspension without
pay for his childish stunt. And, to be clear, any teacher who does
that level of violence on one of his/her charges should receive the
same punishment. Utterly unprofessional behaviour. Returning back to
my geography teacher, that guy was to professionalism what Albert
Reynolds was to oratory or Bertie Ahern was to statesmanship. He
lived and breathed unprofessionalism. And, actually, yeah, I think he
did become the Principal of my Secondary/Comprehensive school some
time after I had left.

But, as I said, the occasional violence from some of the teachers was
as nothing compared to the more constant stream of violence coming
from two other sources, namely my dad, and my fellow students. I
still can't decide which one of those was worse.

Starting with my fellow students then, yeah, the bullying was bad.
When I was 16/17 years old, I dreaded going to school in the morning.
I had to wait with these horrible guys every morning whilst we all
waited for our first class. Utter torment. It got so bad that the
point was reached when at night, I dreamt that I would take my
vengeance out upon these boys, only to wake up the next morning to go
to school to receive a fresh round of torment from them.

And, my father. My father felt he had a "man's divine right" to beat
his family. He hit me. He hit my brother. He hit my sister and he
hit my mother. No one was spared in our family. It was the late
80s. Times were hard. Charles Haughey was living the life of a King.
(&&&&) My dad had a medical operation in the early 80s and was
finding it difficult getting back into the workforce. [sighs] My
mother was frustrated with him sometimes and with his slow progress in
finding a job and used to berate him about it. "Get a job", she would
say. My father would strike back, screaming "shut up".

I was up in my bedroom. There was nothing I can do. What could I
do? I was impotent, just wanking away in my bedroom.

I was scared of my dad. My dad died on November 1991 of complications
due to lymphatic cancer. Or maybe it was just lymphatic cancer, not
sure. In the months leading up to his death, I didn't talk to him at
all. Maybe, just the occasional grunt when I saw him to acknowledge
his existance if he acknowledged me first. Why was that? One big
reason was because I was scared of him. What did I honestly want to
say to him then? I wanted to say to him, "Dad, you're sick. You need
to get help. You need to see a psychiatrist or a shrink or a
psychologist. One of those guys.". That's what I wanted to say.
But, if I tried to say that, he would hit me. I wouldn't even be able
to complete the first sentence. In fact, I remember saying something
along these lines when he was driving us home from golf practice we
used to do together in Fintra (a beach resort (kinda) near
Killybegs).. As soon as I said the first sentence, "Dad, you need to
get help..". He'd calmly but angrily slow down the car and before the
car had even stopped, he'd lay his fist into me. So, you see, guys, I
didn't talk to my dad in his final months out of self-preservation.

My dad, like my geography teacher, was never apologetic about his
behaviour. He really believed that he had a right to hit his family.
He really believed he had a "man's divine right" to do so. My Dad
went to St. Eunan's in Letterkenny in the late 40s and early 50s, I
think the top-notch secondary school in Donegal for middle class
boys. He hated it there. I have no doubt whatsoever he received
physical abuse at any rate from the (religious) staff there. And, I
think this was a big reason why he didn't go on to university after
his stay there in contrast to some of his brothers and sisters. He
trained to be a seaman instead. He had girls at every port and all
that.

By 1991, I was liberated from secondary school. I did my Leaving Cert
that year. Later that year, that November, my dad died. So, the
sources of violence against me were removed. But, the emotional
damage was done. The, I think, intense physical abuse I received
during my teenage years, left its toll. I became sexually repressed
and therefore prone to sexual perversions. You see, you don't need to
receive sexual abuse to become sexually repressed. Enough or intense
enough physical abuse can do that too. It took me years to recover.
Have I recovered yet? I dunno. I cannot categorically say that I
have completely recovered. But, it would appear that now, in my mid-
thirties, I have made some sort of recovery. Do I want to have a
family? I dunno because, frankly, I don't want to do unto my family
of the future what my dad did unto my mother, me and my two siblings.

Violence was endemic in my life during my teen years. Violence rained
down upon me from the 3 sources already mentioned. And, I'm
interested in politics because I believe that my experience is not
unique to me. I think many many Irish families have the same
problems. Many many students face the same problems of bullying,
whether as a perpetrator or a recipient. Violence, I believe, is
endemic to Irish society. And, it needs to be addressed. And, I am
of the opinion that our society is still broken. I'll come back to
that in a moment.

Could I have escaped, you know, back in my teen years, when the
physical abuse was being visited upon me. I could have, I suppose.
But, where to go? I remember my younger brother, when he was about 14
years old, left the house suddenly one day without informing the
family to go stay with a friend in Donegal Town. 2 days later or so,
he was back. Like a typical Irish family unit, we didn't talk about
it. My brother went back to school the next morning as if nothing had
happened. Aye, I guess he was just "spreading his wings". When I was
around 19, a year and a half after my father died, my mother noted
that I was having some behavioural problems so she called the local
doctor. The doctor came and he befriended me. He visited me one more
time at our home and then I visited him at his clinic. During this
third visit, I think, I finally revealed to him that "My father beat
me". He wasn't interested in hearing the facts from me. Instead, he
gave me a lecture. "I liked your father", he said, "and he liked me
too.". As if that had anything to do with it.

These days, it's socially acceptable to discuss sexual violence
commited by priests on children in their care. But, what about
violence within families? We have a Constitution which emphasizes the
importance of "The Family", the fundamental social unit of society
according to the constitution if I recall correctly. So, I guess many
people still get uncomfortable when they talk about discord and
violence within their own family. But, these are facts too, just like
sexual abuse of children by priests. In the early 90s, I understand
the Republic of Ireland was rightfully cited by Amnesty International,
as a country which had a high level of domestic violence, the vast
majority of it beatings by men on women or their family members.
These are facts which we can't just be wished away.

Finally, a political comment. The Republic of Ireland is an
oligarchy. The rich are represented by two political parties, Fine
Gael and Fianna Fail, and, to some extent, by a third, Labour. These
parties set up phoney debates in order to confuse and alienate and
distance the majority of citizens of this country from the corridors
of power and the decision making process. This process is kept in the
hands of the rich. It's in the interest of the rich minority to keep
the poor minority divided and alienated and angry and violent. The
sooner all of us in Irish society acknowledge the day-to-day
realities, including domestic violence and its negative social
effects, the sooner we can do away with oligarchy and start to
embrace a true democracy. Thank u.

Paul Carr

(&) For example, sexual repression.

(&&) Just wanna add, anyone who does earwigging is one sick f&^k. My
geography teacher loved seeing the pain register on my face and other
students' faces as he twisted the earlobe of his victim. His eyes lit
up like a shark's. Bastard. Apparently, in my school, there was some
unofficial "code of conduct book for teachers" where this approved
torture technique was laid out. I imagine number 1, it would state,
"Use this technique when you're in a foul mood on lower beings (&&&)
who happen to be beside you at the time or within easy reach."

(&&&)Lower being = student

(&&&&) With apparently some sex games with Terry Keane up in the
Wicklow mountains.

My Trip to Yangshuo and Guilin.

2009-05-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

Itinerary above. It was on my to-do list for some time. Afterwards, I visited Hong Kong for nearly a week and then returned back to Beijing yesterday. Good trip. Weather in Guilin and Yangshou was okay. The weather during my trip down the Li River was lovely. I took a train to Guilin. Then, I took the boat to Yangshuo. Then, I took a bus to Shenzhen. Then, I took the bus across the border to Hong Kong. Finally, I took a train back from Hong Kong to Beijing. The weather for the week I was in Hong Kong was shite. Rained every day. Reminded me of Irish weather, except a little warmer like 25 degrees celsius or so. Nice trip. Relaxed. I took photos which you can see on the left panel with both my mobile phone camera and my other camera.

Met an old friend out of the blue in Hong Kong when I went to the train station to book a train back to Beijing. I had worked with him in a school in Beijing. Wow, China is such a small country!!.

The Li River was magnificent.

Me, Content, on the Li River Boat.

But, so many other places to visit in China. Eg. I wanna visit Chengdu and Chongqing. Maybe later this year. Hopefully, I can get a new work visa sorted out in the meantime. My present one expires at the end of June. Need to get a new employer to sponsor my next work visa for a year. Hopefully, I won't have problems. I'm not even sure if I'll stay in Beijing. Maybe, I'll move to another city, like Shanghai? We'll see. Anyway, where to visit next? Yeah, Chongqing, Chengdu. Definitely. I will eventually get around to visiting Tibet. Also the north east region of Xinjiang province, places like Urumqi and Kashgar. Definitely. Also, Lanzhou. Must visit that city. Also, of course, Yunnan province!! Definitely. Lots of places there to visit like Xishuangbanna, the capital, Kunming, and that tourist town, Dali, I think it's called and the 3 river gorge!!. Yeah. And, Hainan island. Yeah, but I wanna visit there in the winter, like January or February. Now, it's a waste of time. It's hot everywhere in China during the day in the summer.

Thanks for reading.

Paul Carr

My Trip Around the Gulf of Bohai.

2009-05-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

Yup, finally, I did a trip which I had actually planned to do at the beginning of January and planned it at the beginning of January but never started it. Finally, I got off my arse and did it last week. It really was a quick trip. I left on Wednesday, May the 13th and came back on Saturday, May the 16th. I wanted to be back before my dental appointment on Sunday, May the 17th at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. It turns out that on Sunday morning, I wasn't feeling any pain or ache the region where the dentist had warned me the week before I may need more than just a filling but root channel treatment, so, amyway, I cancelled the appointment. I wasn't feeling any pain. Why go through the aggravation? If any ache comes back, I'll know it and I'll make an appointment with the dentist again. I'll come to that bridge when I come to it. Anyway, slightly irrational, right? Oh, come on, no pain!! So, why the f**k go through with the dental appointment? [sighs]. But, last week, I was in a hurry to get this trip over with. I mean I could have went on Monday but too fucking lazy I was.

Anyway, enough of that. Actually, it was last Wednesday afternoon, that I had the idea of finally doing this fecking trip. So, using the internet, I booked hostel private rooms in both Dalian (for Thursday night) and Yantai (for Friday night). Then, after packing my things, trying not to forget anything, I was on my way to the Beijing train station and, you know what, they didn't have any tickets to Dalian, just standing ones. Well, hell, I wasn't going to fecking stand for 12 fecking hours. I was about the give up. Then, I went to a cybercafe and tried to book a flight so that I could get to Dalian in time so that I can arrive at my hostel on time. Problem was, you need to book a flight at least 24 hours in advance if you use your credit card which I was using. So, that didn't fecking work out either. I was about the give up. I had even left the cybercafe and was walking resignedly back to my apartment when I had an idea.

Back to the cybercafe I went.!! Here's a tip people. Buy this book!! Screenshot below.

It's a neat book. A list of all the trains in China (I think) are listed from pages 1 to 58. The different classses, C,D, T and so on.

Then, the rest of the book gives you a more detailed breakdown of the train routes between particular Chinese cities. I bought mine outside Beijing railway station. 10 kuai. I can't emphasise enough how useful this book is to have.

Okay, I had that. I went to this website:

http://www.chinahighlights.com

Click on "China Guide"

Then, find the link, "China Train Search". Click on it.

Oh, it's here: http://www.chinahighlights.com/china-trains/

Now go to the part that says, "Search Trains between Two Major Stations".

Let's type in "Beijing" in "Leaving From" and "Tianjin" in "Going to".

Then, you get a whole list of the trains going between these two cities. All the information you need is there I think. The train type and number, the names of the train stations you leave from and arrive at. The types of seats or beds available (soft seat/hard seat/soft bed/hard bed), their price and so on.

Then, once you have selected the train number, use the book I mentioned above (pages 1 to 58) to first locate the train in the book and then you are referred to another page in the next section of the book for a more detail route map. Ah, you're on top of it!! You're king of the world!! You understand Chinese trains now!! Well done!!

Anyway, that was my idea!! Instead of leaving from Beijing to Dalian, I thought to myself, why not from Tianjin to Dalian instead!! Wicked. So, I booked a C type train (very fast CRH train service between Beijing and Tianjin - only 30 minutes to arrive - top speed 350 kph) to Tianjin and then, at Tianjin East railway station where I arrived, I booked a train leaving at 5 o'clock that morning to Dalian. Fortunately, there had a hard bed for me. Great!! At least for the 10 hour trip or so I can lie down. Yeah, I knew there was a train on Thursday morning from Tianjin to Dalian because I first consulted the chinahighlights.com website and then referred to the book for a more detailed itinerary. I suppose the book isn't absolutely necessary to have but, for me, it's reassuring and empowering to have. The chinahighlights.com website is a gem!! So, I got out of that predicament.

As a foreigner, with limited Chinese, I don't know if I can book a train ticket whilst in one city from city B to city C. I don't think so. I don't know if I can reserve one. I don't think so. I reckoned that since the May holiday was over, I could find a soft bed from Beijing to Dalian on the same day. I was wrong. Damn, Beijing is such a fecking busy city!! I guess I needed to book a day in advance.

At Tianjin, I decided to stay in a hostel to lay my head down for 4 hours or so. I was tired. I did that. The webcafe at Tianjin East train station had HUGE screens. Man, they were huge. Then, when I got to Dalian and visited a webcafe there, they were even HUGER. Man. I took photos of that. See the photo album on right.

Anyway, I took the train finally to Dalian. Nice. Took the taxi to my hostel. I think I put down the deposit and booked it at either www.hostelbookers.com or www.hostelworld.com . Nice hotel, actually. The Jinjiang hotel. But, to be honest, I would have preferred to stay at a hostel. More informal atmosphere. More young people, rather than staid and all-too-fucking-serious businessmen usually. But, anyway, it was nice. I consulted my China guide book. This book below.

I recommend you take this China - Lonely Planet book throughout your trip. I read this book and discovered that I could book a ferry ticket from Dalian to Yantai (as I had planned to do back in January) at the train station in Dalian. So, I went to the train station and booked a ferry. It was a slow one though. I think the guy said in Chinese that the fast, 3 hour crossing, ones were all booked out. So, I bought a slow one (6 hour crossing). I only had a seat but I didn't mind that much. Well, I did! Turning out many of the Chinese men in the communal room were smoking!! Damn, I hate smoking. Anyway, it's a good book to have and you should alway take this book anywhere you go.

Here's a pic of the ferry I took.

After I got off at Yantai. [sighs]. I tried to speak some Chinese to the people on the ferry but I don't really say much!! I was studying some Chinese during the trip. I took some Chinese language books during the trip. Then, in Yantai, I had a stumble. I had booked a place at a youth hostel, the Yantai youth hostel, but the print outs I had taken with me on my trip didn't get the fucking address in Chinese characters. Well, that's just fucking great!! Taxi drivers won't understand roman script!! Can someone please tell the Yantai youth hostel this? Anyway, finally, we managed to find it - me and the taxi driver.

The hostel turned out to be pretty cool. Perhaps the best place I've stayed yet. I paid about 250 rmb for a room but it was damn plush. I just wanted the one fucking bed. They gave me an apartment with 3 beds, a kitchen, a nice bathroom and all the accoutrements. There was this real cook transparent digital clock beside my bed. Pic below. Everything about the place was cool.

Cool transparent digital clock.

I was thinking while laying down on the bed that it would be nice to manage a hotel or a hostel. Nice easy-going job. I'd love to do that in the future.

Once I arrived at my new digs, I did what I did when I arrived at my digs in Dalian. I wanked off.

HeHe

Then, I went off to the train station to book a train ticket to Jinan. That's the problem I discovered whilst in Beijing. I couldn't find a early enough train going direct from Yantai to Beijing. One left late at night on Saturday but didn't arrive until early afternoon on Sunday. Remember I had a dental appointment so that was out. Again, using the utterly cook, chinahighlights.com website and my train schedule book, I figured out an alternative faster route, via Jinan. At the back of my mind, I was wondering if I was going to pull this off. Might I be able to get back to Beijing on time for my dental appointment - which I was consequently to cancel anyway? One disadvantage about the Yantai hostel was that it was quite far (30rmb plus cab ride) from there ot the train station located naturally in the city centre.. But, still, I suppose I'd stay at the Yantai hostel again. One of my pretty Chinese students in the past told me to visit this town, her home town in the past. I wondered if I may bump into her. No avail. I did in Yantai, what I did in Dalian. Went to a web cafe (wangbas, or internet cafes) were refreshingly easy to find) and also I went to a KFC or McDonalds. KFC in Yantai and McDonalds in Dalian. Ah, now I can say I *visited* the cities.

Anyway, Saturday morning, I was off again. I took a damn slow train to Jinan, the capital of Shandong province. My flatmate texted me to warn me that swine flu had arrived in Shandong province. Oh, honey, I'm on my holliers, spare me the info please!! Anyway, at least, I had a soft bed. Upon arrival, I quickly found the ticket station. Tip: exit the station, turn around and look around and you should find a ticket station somewhere close. Should work in any train station in China. I think I was lucky. I got a first class seat. I don't think there were hard beds or soft beds. It was a CRH train with a top speed of 250 mph. I was kinda worried this stage that my slight sore throat was the beginnings of swine flu!! Thanks, flatmate!!. It turned out to be okay. I ate some food on the train. The tray was tucked into the arm of the chair I sat on, folding out. Neat. I was happy. Got into the really really modern and new Beijing South Station. Been here before. Walked out to the subterranean taxi rank. Big queue. It was diminished quickly however as there were aplenty of taxis to service the demand. I was in a taxi in no time on my way back to Dongzhimen subway station where I had stationed my bike these past 3 or so days. I was still there in a safe place. I cycled back ot my apartment and I was home!! Then, I got lazy and the following day, did fuck all!! Like some sort of funk, a heavy funk, had laid its heavy hand of immobility upon me. Today, well, I've been doing some work, such as writing this my report to yess all. Did you read it? If so, please comment. Thanks, y'all.

Paul Carr

Wow, is this Maria Ozawa?

2009-05-10T12:07:00.000-07:00

I was cycling back home from Wangfujing street the other day and this billboard caught my eye.

Who is she?

Wow, is this Maria Ozawa? The Japanese Porn Star. Sure, looks like her!! Or maybe it's just that all these orientals look alike.

Maria Ozawa - A Less Controversial Pose.

My Trip to Tai Shan.

2009-05-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I hadn't left Beijing since last October!! So, time to get out. I took a quick day trip to Tai Shan. Train took 6 hours to get to the town of Tai An. It was dark. I took a taxi to the bus terminal, then I took a bus to the middle section of Tai Shan. Then, I walked up. It was kinda busy. Lots of young people around. Anyway, It was the morning of the 9th of May, 2009. I figured that the sun would rise at approximately 5:01am in the morning so I had plenty of time to see the rising sun. I was only wearing a shirt but it soon got kinda chilly. Truth be told, this whole trip was really badly organized. I took my very heavy bag with me. I'm a stickler for punishment!! I could have lightened my load before climbing the steps of Tai Shan. Anyway, about a third of the way up, I stopped at this place and rented a coat. 50 rmb for a deposit. 10 rmb, you pay. It was a worn, kinda Chinese army style coat, but one of the front buttons at the front was missing. Never mind. At first, I felt overdressed and quickly I began to seriously swelter under this heavy coat. However, as I climbed further up the mountain, I realised that the coat was damn useful. Temperatures I guess fell to about 10 degrees celsius or so but as I neared the top of the mountain, a brisk wind shot up, making it feel so much colder. So, the coat turned out to be a good investment even if I did at first provide some comic relief to the Chinese people walking up with me.

Stunning Views from Mount Tai!

I saw the occasional Westerner. Most of the people were young (and adventurous). But, that morning, I think was going to be disappointing to everyone concerned.. At day break, I don't think anyone could see the sun because it was overcast. Ha, at 5 o'clock, coming up to 5 o'clock, I saw so so many people trooping to the western side of the mountain top to watch the sun rising but I don't think they saw anything. Anyhow, I reached the top after about an hour and a half of climbing at a fairly brisk pace I suppose. Also, consider I had the heavy load slung around my shoulders. At the top of the mountain was a veritable little tourist town complete with hotels for the travellers. Everything so so expensive up there. Table water - 10 kuai. Coca Cola - 15 kuai. Almond Juice - 25 kuai. Damn!! They sure know how to rip you off!! Anyway, at the top, I did a little exploring. I went intrepidly to remote places of the top of the mountain. The wind was buffetting. There was a lovely view down to the town of Tai An below. Mount Tai, by the way, is in Shandong province. I went to Tai Shan by myself.

I must say the train to Tai Shan was so so good. I love the Chinese trains. So efficient. Not like Irish trains. On the train to Tai Shan, I had a bunk bed, a top bunk where you have 3 beds on top of one another. At first, I didn't realise that one of the two pillows I had was in fact a blanket. And, I was getting cold. So desperate, in fact, that I quickly grabbed the blanket of the old man's bed beside mine. I was lying earlier but then left. I thought it wouldn't come back and so I took his. However, then I discovered, d'uh, one of the f**king pillows was in fact my blanket. Ah, Paul, figuring out these trains is a lot easier than you imagine. You, dolt!!.

So, anyway, I was comfortable after that. Later, I dismounted. Damn awkward getting down from those f**king beds. I had my fangbianmian (complete with hot water). I ate plenty of fruit, such as tangerine oranges, plums and what not. I studied some Chinese. When will I ever be able to speak this language?!! Years and years away I figure. I looked out at the darkness.

I must say I forgot to bring my passport with me. I was kinda disappointed about that because I was thinking maybe I'd need to stay in a hotel if there's a disaster and I can't get home on a train the next day. In the end, I was lucky enough to get a seat on a train going back to Beijing the next day, May 10th. So, anyway, I left Beijing train station around 5 o'clock on May 9th, arrived in Tai An around 11 o'clock the same day. I left from the main train station of Beijing. Then, I got a taxi to the bus terminal. Then, I took the bus to the Middle section of Tai Shan. I arrived there about 00:30in the morning of May 10th. Then, I started awalking. I got to the summit, I think, about 2:00in the morning, taking the occasion, catch my breath break on the way up. Then, I went exploring the top of the mountain for the next hour and fifteen minutes. Kinda reminded me of exploring the rocks with my dad and brother of Muckross, near Kilcar, in County Donegal. I was buffetted by the wind and, you know, kinda dangerous a bit, steep cliff down not far away. I think the top of Tai Shan is about 1300 to 1400 metres above sea level, roughly equivalent to the height of Ben Nevis (a little under) the highest mountain in Great Britain. I spotted some young folks camping out with their Chinese army style coats (like mine). Some had tents. I guess they were seriously into the ritual of being there to catch the rising sun in the west, the sun that Mao Zetong remarked was red.

I was getting tired. I got back to the part of the top of the mountain where most of the people where at about 3:15. I went into a hotel lobby, buying some almond juice and then sitting down with crowds of young Chinese people and I pretended like them to sleep but frankly couldn't even though I wanted to badly. My posture was too uncomfortable and, frankly, one can't sleep sitting down at a table. Then, at around 4 o'clock, out of sheer boredom I guess, I went outside and found a spot to lie down on the floor. I looked up at the ceiling of the sky and waited for the sky to lighten. At about 4:45, I got up and I noticed the crowds of people who were heading towards the west of the mountain top to see the sun rise. As written before, I think they were going to be disappointed because it was clear that the sky was pretty overcast and so the sun wouldn't be seen at all that morning. I was too tired to go again. I had already explored that part of the mountain top when it was dark. Frankly, at this stage, I just wanted to go to bed. My beloved bed!! It was light enough now and I started taking the series of 40 photos you can see in the photo album on the right hand side. I noticed that I was looking old and groggy in the photos, crows' feet ashowing and all that. Damn, all that hard f**king work and the result? I'm getting old? [sighs]. I soldiered on. I started walking down the mountain. I couldn't take the cable car because I had to return that coat, remember!!.And, I had nearly gone down the first f**king section when I realised that my so f**king heavy bag was missing from my shoulders. I had left it on top of the mountain. I hated it. I hated to be weighed down by all those Chinese language learning books. Now, I had to go back up the final stretch again to get my bag. I remembered thinking to myself that "I deserve to go extinct!". Yes.

Anyway, fortunately, my bag wasn't taken. I saw this security guard milling around it though, wondering if he should take it or not. Thankfully, I arrived just in time to take it, beaming a friendly smile in the security guard's direction. And, down the mountain again. Man, my legs were ruined. Doing down was tougher than going up. These steep steps remind me of the steep steps of Shaolin temple in Kung Fu Panda. My legs were literally shaking under the strain. In fact, even now, as I write this, my legs are still stiff and, let me tell you, I do go jogging every day but still..... [sighs]. I had too many worries on my mind. Damn, I need to do more travelling. I was worried that I couldn't get the bus back to Tai An town because I couldn't find the f**king original ticket I bought to go inside. In fact, it was in my f**king pocket all the time. [sighs]. Anyway, I went down, snapping photos. I left back my trusty and useful coat and continued walking down to the bottom. Fortunately, there was no rain, just a little cool at the top and buffetting wind. Then, I learned I had to buy a another ticket anyway for the bus back into town.

Anyway, timewise, I started down the mountain at about 5:10 am. I had to go back up again so the second time I started down about 5:30. I think I had gotten down in about an hour. So, make that 6:30. Then, I got the bus at about 6:45, back into the edge of town. Then, I took a taxi, around 7 o'clock to the train station. I had plenty of time. My ticket back to Beijing was for a train that started at 9:45. I had shrewdly bought the ticket the previous night at Tai An for the next morning just after I arrived at the town. Smart thinking, Paul!! Why is it I can do some things smart but other things so so stupidly? You know, a heavy f**king bag with books I'd probably wouldn't be reading any time soon, like in the next month. Anyway, I went to a nearby Ken De Ji bought some delicious breakfast (and then another), read some Chinese dictionary that is now very well worn. In fact, during this trip, the book had split into two pieces. I've broken this book in. Later, I went back to the station, waited and finally go on the train.

The train took 4 hours back into Beijing. After the first stop (I think Ji nan), this young man (around 23) sat opposite me, his friend beside him and this Chinese pretty young lady on my side of the improvised table beside me. This young man was kinda hyperactive. I wanted to sleep so so much. He was, I think, excited because of the pretty lady sitting beside me and so wanted to chat her up. Anyway, he wanted to talk to me too, I think, to impress her. Oh, it was a real pressure cooker. I could have pretended to just sleep but anyway, we made eye-contact, I acknowledged his existence and when he tried to talk to me (in Chinese), I replied with words like "Dui Bu Qi. Wo Ting Bu Dong". Anyway, in the end, we kinda had a simple conversation. None of them could speak English. I even exchanged my greeting card with him. One thing that did strike me about this encounter though was that Chinese young people (and people of all ages in any culture) are essentially the same personality wise. It's only that dishonest class of human being (politicians) who highlight supposed differences between people and "races" in order to promote some hobby horse of the politician, such as trade protectionism and trade barriers.. Human beings are essentially the same however, everywhere. Giggly young women, hyperactive young men. The same everywhere.

Anyway, we parted upon arrival at Beijing railway station and I took the subway home and then cycled back from Dongzhimen to my apartment and... And, when I got back to my apartment, I showered, horray!!!.. I washed, I shaved, I brushed my teeth, I applied some skin cream I'm using to get rid (hopefully) of my spots and I took the horrid medicine I told you all about before. [sighs]. And, then, I reflected on those absolutely shitty photos of my shitty aging face on top of Tai Shan and I had decided on the train back that as soon as I got back to my apartment I would wack off viewing some photos of gorgeous South Korean women, tall, busty, and dressed in schoolgirl uniforms and looking really hot and macho. I even discovered a new gorgeous hotty I never seen before during my search on the internet for gorgeous Korean supermodels. So, I dutifully wacked off and thus relieved I went into a well contented sleep. Yes, sir!! That was the end of my trip. Hmm, let's see, I arrived in Beijing on the train at about 1:50 pm. I got back to my apartment, I guess around 2:30. Went to the toilet, tried to get myself into a better state, then blew my load (took a while you pathetic loaf of a man) and finally at about 4 o'clock I stretchhed out on my bed and slept. It turned out to be 2 8 hours sleeps. It was worth it.

I wonder if anyone out there is going to read all of this? If so, please let me know what you think in the comments.

Cheers and Good night and Good Luck.

Christianity and the worship of the Sun.

2009-04-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

I discovered this truly excellent movie a few weeks back and I really recommend you watch it!!

You can watch it here:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-594683847743189197

It's called "Zeitgeist - The Movie".

Here's a screendump:

Actually, the film comes in 3 parts. Regarding Part II, I am not a 9/11 conspiracy believer. I can only believe about 10% of what is said in Part II. Part II contends that there were controlled explosions of 3 buildings on 9/11. Also, regarding Part III of the movie, again, I have to say I only believe about 50% of what is said there. Part III basically contends that the Federal Reserve just wants to rob people of their money. Regarding Part II, I will say however that I do find it disturbing that President George W. Bush and his Vice President, Dick Cheney, succeeded in persuading the 9/11 Commission not to take any record of their testimony. I guess though, like Bill Maher and others, I have to say I don't think there was a 9/11 conspiracy where the US government actively plotted to have the buildings destroyed by controlled explosions and hijacked airplanes. George W. Bush just wouldn't have the competence to put off something as audacious as that.

It's Part I which really fascinates me though. I have to say I believe 90% of what's said and maybe more. Here's a quotation of US Patriot, Thomas Paine (1737-1809), taken from the movie.

"The Christian religion is a parody on the worship of the sun, in which they put a man called Christ in the place of the sun, and pay him the adoration originally payed to the sun." Thomas Paine

Basically, the film contends, for me very convincingly, that Christianity is merely a solar cult, just one of many, where we worship "Christ" instead of the Sun. For the past 50,000 years, our species, Homo Sapiens, has appreciated the power of the sun. The Sun brought life, dispelled night-time predators and, later, when humans began to cultivate the land, the sun helped the crops to grow. Humans have always had an unmatched reverence for the sun. Humans have always had a fascination for the sky above them where the Sun, Moon and stars and planets were located and moved. They sought to understand it. The film basically contends that Christianity is a gnostic sect which had adopted a mythical figure, "Christ". "Christ" was just like many other mythical figures in other pagan religions. One such example was the Egyptian Sun-God, Horus. These solar prophets had much in common such as being born on December 25th, born of the virgin, beginning a ministry at age 30, risen from the Dead and so on. Watch it!! Tell me what you think.

I've watched it a few times already and I intend to watch it again and again.

More quotations from the movie:

Jordan Maxwell says "Christianity just is not based on truth. We find that Christianity was in fact nothing more than a Roman story, developed politically".

The Narrator continues: "The reality is that Jesus was the solar deity of the gnostic Christian sect and like all other pagan Gods he was a mythical figure. It was the political establishment that sought to historize the Jesus figure for social control. By 325AD in Rome, Emperor Constantine convened the Council of Nicaea. It was during this meeting that the politically motivated Christian doctrines were established and thus began a long history of Christian bloodshed and spiritual fraud. And, for the next 1600 years, the Vatican maintained a political stranglehold on all of Europe, leading to such joyous periods as the Dark Ages along with enlightening events such as the Crusades and the Inquisition. Christianity, along with all other theistic belief systems, is the fraud of the age. It serves to detach the species from the natural world and likewise each other. It supports blind submission to authority. It reduces human responsibility to the effect that God controls everything and, in turn, awful crimes can be justified in the name of divine pursuit. And, most importantly, it empowers those who know the truth but use the myth to manipulate and control societies. The religious myth is the most powerful device ever created and serves as the psychological soil upon which other myths can flourish".

After this narration, we quickly move onto the 9/11 conspiracy theory (which I don't believe, by and large)

Well, before the start of Part II, here's another quotation from David Ray Griffin.

"A myth is an idea that, while widely believed, is false. In a deeper sense, in the religious sense, a myth serves as an orienting and mobilizing story for a people. The focus is not on the story's relation to reality but on its function. A story cannot function unless it is believed to be true in the community or the nation. It is not a matter of debate if some people have the bad taste to raise the question of the truth of the sacred story. The keepers of the faith don't enter into debate with them - they ignore them or denounce them as blasphemers."

Another quote from Robert G. Ingersoll (1833 - 1899) taken from the movie.

"Religion can never reform mankind because religion is slavery."

My Facebook Page.

2009-04-29T14:25:00.001-07:00

My Facebook Page is here:

http://twurl.nl/0a68vq

My Twitter page is here:

http://twitter.com/paulcarr1974

Turning 35. I'm getting old.

2009-04-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

I guess I should mention this. It was kinda lonely turning 35. No illusions any more about being a young man.. I had to snuggle up to someone.

Anyway, my birthday was on April 22nd. I look forward with trepidation.

Cool Astronomy Program.

2009-04-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

This astronomy program is WAY cool and I recommend it to anyone. And, it's free. I took this screendump yesterday of the splash screen that loads when the program is loading.

I'm not a hard astronomy nut, just a beginner and this program is ideal for beginners in studying astronomy. very user friendly. Study the stars. Every night, I go out for a jog and sometimes I find myself looking up at the stars and I wonder what is that bright star over there or that one. Now, I know - with this program. For example, a few nights ago, I was looking up to the very top of the dome of the sky and I saw this bright star (there are not many stars to be seen even on a clear night in urban, brightly lit Beijing). I was wondering what the star was. Thanks to consulting Stellarium before going out for a jog, I knew!! It was Vega, 5 brightest star in the night sky, in the constellation Lyra. I think I can make out Arcturus too, 3rd brightest star in the night sky in the southern sky. Wow, I can't recommend this program highly enough. Get started in astronomy. It's not as hard as you may think. It's laid out in a user friendly format. You learn some of the basic terminology pretty easily such as azimuthal lines and celestial lines and so on. You can turn on the constellations lines if you wish and their names. You can even turn on stylized pictures to help you remember the constellations and their constituent stars all the easier. It's great the appreciate the vastness of space and it's almost unchanging nature. Most of the stars have been fixed in their locations for millions of years or tens of thousands of years at any rate. Some of the nearer stars, such as the brightest star in the night sky, Sirius, only 8 light years away, a stone's throw away in celestial terms, have actually moved a bit over the past 2 millennia. Sirius, for example, has travelled about half an arcminute south over the past 1800 years, which, may explain why the 3 stars of Orion's Belt don't accurately line up with it any more whereas, during the time of Christ, there would have been a more accurate alignment.

Wonder and marvel at the vastness of space. Learn how to find north using the Polar Star. Learn how to find the Polar Star. Learn all the constellations and their relationship with each other. Great introductory program for aspiring astronomers and, at 35, I think it's never too late to take an interest in the subject. You set your location and you set the time. You can travel quickly forward in time or back. You get a representation of the night sky in your area even before you go out and check it for yourself. I'm kind of sorry I didn't take my telescope from Ireland. I bought one there and never used it!! Why? Because I didn't take any interest then in astronomy. It was all gobbledygook to me. Now, I figure I ought to buy a telescope. I'd look to see the bright red disk of Mars, or the light red and white of the Venusian cloud bands, or Jupiter and its moons or Saturn and its largest moon, Titan. Ah, Titan, that beautiful bright orange planet. Humankind must go there and pierce through that cloud cover to uncover the mystery underneath.

Titan (in natural colour) as seen by the Space Probe, Cassini.

There's another matter I'd like to talk about, related to astronomy, but I'll keep that to another post later.

Chinese Medicine.

2009-04-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

I've a bit of a skin spot problem (I feel) so I've been trying a new Chinese medicine. See example bag below. I just took this photo.

I get these sebum filled spots on my neck (less so now than before), face, (less so now than before), back of my torso (lots of them still) annd front of my torso (still there, but I live in hope). A few months ago, I went to a Chinese doctor and he suggested I take a 2 week course of this chinese liquid medicine (picture above). I am to take 2 bags a day. That is, drink the contents. So, 2 days ago, my friend went to the pharmacy where this Chinese doctor works and ordered 2 weeks supply from him. Costly. 460 RMB or so. 400 RMB for the medcine itself and 60 RMB (service charge). I'm not going into that. Anyway.

The stuff is truly revolting. I started this course last night. I just took a sip and euwww!!. I couldn't finish the contents. My friend and flatmate advised me to drink it all down in one go. I had to find out the hard way why that was the case. This afternoon, I had learnt my lesson however and just gulped the stuff down successfully. And again just now. Anyway, the Chinese doctor had told me that there were germs/bacteria or whatever in my intestines which were causing the spots and this medcine would help. Anyway, I'm willing to give it a shot. I'm not hopeful though.

Bear in mind, I'm also still using the skin cream(s) and ointment and I guess, inevitably, there has been some improvement. But, to my exasperation, new spots are still cropping up. I have to be constantly vigilant. [sighs]. Anyway, let's see if this stuff has any results. I'll let you know on this blog in two weeks time. We'll put Chinese medcine to the test. Is the doctor right? Bacteria in my stomach? Hmm... We'll see.

Is there Life out there?

2009-04-28T07:46:00.001-07:00

I have no doubt that there is life out there in the universe. Consider that there are, in the words of Carl Sagan, "billions upon billions" of stars in this galaxy alone and that there are tens of billions of galaxies in the known universe, I think it would be irresponsible to categorically say that there is no life out there. Yet, 2 years ago, I recall Denis Kucinich, a Democratic candidate for US President, was asked this during one of the Democratic debates and he answered in the affirmative. Immediately, the mainstream media thought he was bonkers. [shakes head and sighs].

Obambi - Weak like Fredo.

2009-04-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

Fredo Corleone and Obambi.

You know, it pains me to say this. I'm not saying Barack Obama is a bad President. I just don't think he's a good President. His first press conference, early in February, some time after February 10th, President Obama was asked by Helen Thomas during his first press conference if Obama knew of a country in the Middle East which has nuclear weapons. Of course, there is: Israel. And, of course, Obama knew this but didn't answer this question. He just answered the other part(s) of Helen Thomas's two-part or three-part question. I can't remember now if it were two parts or three parts.

The Obama administration cynically treats the media with disdain much like Bush did before him. Unpopular decisions or controversial decisions are released on Friday evenings after the news programs have been concluded to take the heat off the controversy. Was FDR like this? Cynical about handling the new media? Didn't FDR, au contraire, embrace the news and the media as his friends? An example of this? Lemme me think. I recall the news about the stress tests and other matters.

Obama has been condescendingly telling us, the little people, that we should "look foward" and not look past. We shouldn't be seeking retribution against those who may have sanctioned or allowed or encouraged or did torture. In other words, no justice. Only the poor "bad apples" should be punished and made an example of. The people who gave the orders, they're too rich and "too important". The rich plutocrats, in the plutocracy called the USA, are let off the hook. Obama should look no further than Peru for inspiration on how he should proceed here. Peru's former President, Alberto Fujimori, was put on trial and convicted for corruption and, I think, sent to prison. But, in the USA, we're all too scared to hurt Dick Cheney's feelings.

The Obama administration is looking more and more like a 4 year wonder with the Republicans coming back again and taking the Presidency in 2012. They're called the Repugs. It never ceases to amaze me the sheer chutzpah of the Republican opposition in the USA. It appears they haven't gotten the memo that they lost the last election. The Republican Governor of Texas, Rick Perry, wants Texas to secede from the Union That was before he asked for Federal help due to the present Swine Flu situation. In the Senate, I learn that the Republicans have been filibustering the appointment of Kathleen Sibelius as Obama's Health and Human Services Secretary, the last position of his cabinet yet to be filled and we are now just about 100 days into his administration. The Republicans are continuing to oppose the seating of Al Franken from Minnesota months after the election and despite the fact that he has clearly and unequivocably won. I think there's another important piece of legislation in the Senate which the Republicans are threatening to filibuster and which isn't even going to go down to a vote, oh, yeah, the Employee Free Choice Act. I don't think the Obama administration makes much mention of it. It's all hush hush for them.

And, that's the thing. Barack Obama has the best Soap Box in the country in order to express himself. To be sure, he can't take all the blame. There will only be a maximum of 59 Democrats or Democratic leaning Senators in the Senate, not enough to stop any theoretical or actual Republican filibusters. But, Barack Obama is too too timid. He's not the fighting sort. He should, just like Hugo Chavez, go over the head of the legislators on the Hill and talk directly to his people. Set up his version of "Alo Presidente". He ought to talk about his frustations over the failure of Democrats to enact key Democratic platforms. He should turn the screw on the Republicans.

Obama is too timid and too shy. As written already, he has warned that if the economy doesn't turn around over the next 4 years, he'll lose the next election. And, as I've written previously, I suggested that Obama not be so hard on himself. I think people in the USA are fed up with Republicans and even if the economy is not registering significant growth, come the next election, Obama can still win easily PROVIDED he has an agenda that people can relate to, PROVIDED he communicates with the electorate rather than condescendingly treating them like the little people, rather than making policy announcements on Friday evenings after the news cycle for the day had concluded, PROVIDED he treats people with respect.

Yes, Obama has screwed up. Question is: can he owe up his biggest and most egregious ones? For example, he told us a while back that he wouldn't prosecute CIA agents for torture. Wha? That's not your decision to make, Obama. That's the decision of the Attorney General. To my mind, that statement is even worse than his statement that we should "look ahead" rather than look back. By letting CIA members of the hook (they destroyed I think 85 tapes of their operatives torturing/interrogating people), Obama is validating, not only that the USA is a society that protects rich people and throws poor people under the bus but, worse, is validating that the USA is a police state, a terror state. The CIA has a track record of killing people. Criticise them and they could be at your door next. The USA a democracy? Please!! A plutocracy would be more accurate. A small group of rich people control the entire country. There's only a small amount of difference of opinion between them (like Hannity and Colmes, or that CNN Crossfire duo from a while back) but nothing that will engage the ordinary people of the USA or make them feel that they have a meaningful part to play.

Yes, sorry to say this, but I can see the USA's future. The Republicans, completely unreformed, back in power in 4 years time, at least with the Presidency under their arms. A country completely unprepared with (the harsh) realities of the 21st century. Indeed, they don't have to be harsh. Just face up to them.

I've been here before. Yes, the first 3 months of the Obama administration remind me of another administration which promised much and delivered little. The Clinton administration.

The Clinton administration expanded NATO into Central and East Europe rather than winding it up like they should have done. And, now, you have Republicans (and Dems) acting surprised because Russia won't cooperate over Georgia or the Ukraine or, in the 1990s, Serbia. You have Obama sanctioning the use of Drones over Pakistani sovereign territory to take out alleged Al Qaeda and Taleban targets but, in the process, killing hundreds of civilians and then the Obama administation acts surprised when they learn that the Talaban are edging ever closer to the capital Islamabad or the Pakistani government has agreed that Sharia law is to have effect in the Swat valley. Obambi, you are thick, just like the Republicans, because, apparently, you, too, are unable to recognise the linkage because cause and effect...

And, your inauguration day speech!! It was just safe!! So safe in fact, the transcript of the speech was released to the press even before you delivered your speech. What about a truly great speech where you could surprise us and even take our breath away? None to be given... Just some trite speech about the need for us all to grow up, blaa, blaa, blaa. Safe, safe, safe. Of course, that part is true but, on the other hand, a Presidential Speech is supposed to be an opportunity to put forward a daring vision for the future, Obama. You had none to give. You just raked over the old coals. You even mentioned how "America" had defeated communism (and fascism) which is hardly going to endear yourself with the Chinese government and then there was your so fucking condescending offer to Iran of , I paraphrase, "I offer you a hand of friendship, if only you would unclinch your fist". Annoying. And, let's talk about Iran.. A few weeks later, Obama gave a speech in which he offered to meet with the President of Iran, Mahmood Ahmadinejad under certain circumstances. I say, he should just meet with him already. Why the ceremony? Why the surfeit of speeches? And, of course, being Obama, he laid on the condescension towards Iran thick. No mention made, for example, of the CIA and British Intelligence sponsored overthrow of the democratically elected Iranian President, Mohammad Mossadegh, in 1953. No expression of regret for that. Just like when Obama refused to answer Helen Thomas's straightforward question of whether Obama knows of any country in the Middle East which has nuclear weapons, Obama can't come straight. He apparently has a poor grasp of history. Hey, I should be President of the USA!! It looks like, to me, you only need an IQ of, at least, 110 to get the job.

Yes, we were full of hope for the Obama Presidency but most of the hope, I have to say, has now turned to disappointment.

:-(

2009-04-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

I was in a nearby cybercafe a few days ago here in Beijing (nearby my apartment). I visited my webpage at http://worldpaulcarr.spaces.live.com and this was what I found. :-(

The middle section has been removed. I guess it was because I used the word f.u.c.k. but I don't know for sure.

I took the photo above with my mobile phone camera. Most of the computers in this web cafe have no USB port.

I'm pretty convinced there is some sort of webbot in operation which automatically removed the blog diary portion of the msn spaces blog whenever some forbidden words are used. I think f.u.c.k. (deliberately spelt incorrectly) is one such example but there are possibly others. I can't say I'm surprised by this. It has been brought to my attention before such as February 2008, I think, when I visited Shanghai and visited a web cafe there. [sighs].

A question of GDP.

2009-04-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

China's incredibly shrinking GDP.

I was meaning to write about this before.... but... as usual with me, I postponed it.

I was doing some research on the relative GDPs of the People's Republic of China and the USA on wikipedia. Here's what I discovered:

Table 1.

The above table is from April 8th, 2009, very recently, when I did this research and took all the screendumps/tables you see in this post.

In all the tables, the GDP between countries is measured using purchasing power parity, not market exchange rates. (&)

Okay, going back in time. I used the history function on wikipedia to look at the same page but an older version of it.

Here's September 30th, 2008. Screendump below.

Table 2.

Table 2 located at http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=List_of_countries_by_GDP_(PPP)&oldid=242106364y

The present page, by the way, is located at http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=List_of_countries_by_GDP_(PPP)

Okay, let's move on back further in time. This time back to March 31st, 2008. Here's a screendump below I took of the country rankings.

Table 3 from: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=List_of_countries_by_GDP_(PPP)&oldid=202398779

Table 3.

I'm sorry if the screendumps are a little bit small. I suggest you save the file to your computer harddrive and look at the file directly. It will be bigger and easier to read.

Okay, finally, let's move back one more time. This time to December 31st, 2007. Screendump below of the country ranking table.

Table 4 from: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=List_of_countries_by_GDP_(PPP)&oldid=180942917

Table 4.

Okay, what do you see? I tell you what I see. According to the IMF figures on the left-hand side, between March 31st, 2008 and September 30th, 2008, the GDP of China miraculously shrank from around 11.6 trillion dollars to about 7 trillion dollars. The GDP of the USA stayed the same. What the.........? The Chinese populous are working their arse off. (&&) Their government is investing more and more money around the world, its economy was growing at double digit rates and its GDP shrank from 11.6 trillion dollars to just 7 trillion dollars whilst the USA GDP stayed the same? The USA, a country whose biggest export these past 10 years, as far as I can tell, was treasury bills? What the.......? I repeat. What the......?

Also, take a look at a difference between Table 4 and Table 3. On the right hand side, you have the CIA Factbook reckoning of the GDPs of the biggest countries of the world. Again, China's GDP has been pared back. From around 10.2 trillion dollars to around 7.04 trillion dollars...

What's going on?

From the explanation for Table 3, that is, the wikipedia page dated March 31st, 2008., the following is written apparently to explain the change in the Chinese GDP rate:

"The third table is a tabulation of the CIA World Factbook GDP PPP data update of 2008. The data for GDP at purchasing power parity (PPP) has also been rebased using the new ICP price surveys and extrapolated to 2007. Final figures are estimates in millions of international dollars."

Regarding Table 4, that is the wikipedia page dated December 31st, 2007, the following is written:

" The third table is a tabulation of the CIA World Factbook data update of October 2007, according to the data provided by United States' Central Intelligence Agency. Figures are estimates in millions of international dollars, for various years ranging from 1993 to 2006 (most figures are for the year 2006)".

So, it would appear the the GDP of China was revised downwards in the CIA World Factbook because data had been rebased using new ICP price surveys and extrapolated to 2007.

Regarding the change in Chinese GDP downward in the IMF figures (tables 2 and 3) the following is written. First Table 2 (data for September 30th, 2008)

"The first table includes data for the year 2007 for 178 of the current 185 International Monetary Fund members and the Republic of China (Taiwan), as well as for the following unranked entities: the European Union, China's Hong Kong Special Administrative Region, and the World. Data is in millions of international dollars and was calculated by the International Monetary Fund. Figures were published in April 2008. If the European Union was a single economy, it would be the largest in the world."

Now, Table 3 (data for March 31st, 2008)

"The first table includes data for the year 2007 for 178 of the current 185 International Monetary Fund members, as well as for the following un-ranked entities: the European Union, the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region, and the World. Data is in millions of international dollars and was calculated by the International Monetary Fund."

So, it would appear that China's GDP was revised downward because of new figures published in April 2008.

For me, the question is: Why was China's GDP revised downward?

Is the reason purely one of economic considerations or is it born of political motivation?

Well, I leave that for you to decide for yourself but, me, I personally think it was politically motivated.

And, assuming it was politically motivated, who was moving this? China? USA? Both? (&&&)

My information is that in China, the political leadership wears two masks when it comes to speaking about their economy. The mask they wear depends on who they are talking to. If they are addressing the Chinese populous, they would talk up growth rates, the economy growing at double digit rates et cetera... But, when they are addressing foreigners, especially the present military superpower, the USA, China has traditionally adopted a different tack. The size of the Chinese economy is talked down. Chinese leaders want their country's rise to be a peaceful one and the last thing they want to do is alarm paranoid "Americans" who like to fantasize that they are number 1 by a long shot.. So, traditionally, Chinese leaders have obliged the "Americans" in allowing them to continue to live in their cozy fantasy world of their being the perennial number 1 and the best. But, this tack can have disadvantages. And that became apparent just earlier this month at the G20 meeting! China wants a greater role in the decision making process of the International Monetary Fund. Therefore, it wants greater representation, but the Yanks can turn around and say to the Chinese, "Hey, you said yourself, your GDP was small." so why should we give you a greater role, more votes on the IMF compared to us? Why should we give you extra votes? Why should the EU and their constituent countries? Maybe, one or two more votes for China but nothing momentous, nothing that is going to really shake the Western power's lock on control of that financial institution. The Yanks are blind with power. For them, China trails far far behind, contrary to reality. And, so at the recent G20 summit, nice words and platitudes about working together were said but little substantive done. For example, there was no movement on a much needed global reserve currency based on a basket of currencies such as the yuan, yen, euro and dollar in order to make such a reserve currency more stable than what the dollar, the de facto reserve currency, is by itself. [sighs].

Paranoid Republican Yanks back home in "America" don't want the dollar to be "scrapped". This, of course, is nonsense. What was being suggested was an international reserve currency, not a currency to replace the dollar in "America". Well, anyway, that's what China is up against. It's peaceful rise has meant trying to assuage the fears of the perennially fearful Yanks. But, by doing so, there is a price. The perennially fearful Yanks can say to the Chinese, oh, you're just a small economy .. and, in hushed tones, pontificate about alleged terrible human rights abuses in China. It's a dreadful attitude, I know. These Yanks are idiots. Of course, there are plenty of human rights abuses in the USA which I am not going to go into in this post. Another time.

As written before, I'm looking forward to China's peaceful rise. It's been rising peacefully thus far. And so far, in fairness to "America" the lid of its paranoia towards China has yet to be completely blown off and hopefully will never.

Anyway, I'll write more another time.

(&) GDP, adjusted for purchasing power parity, I think is a much more accurate way to measure GDP between developed countries (like the USA) and developing countries (like China) than GDP, based on market exchange rates.
(&&) Whilst the fat-arsed, fat-torsoed Yanks sit in front of their TV screens all day eating tortilla sauce and sauce and watching wrestling matches between guys.
(&&&) To answer this, and I am sure I am entitled to my own opinion, I think it is a bit of both actually.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire - Chinese Version.

2009-04-22T14:10:00.000-07:00

I was doing some research the other day on wikipedia and I discovered that in China there have a version of the TV hit "Who Wants to be a Millionaire".

But, it's different to everywhere else in the world, as far as I can tell. Everywhere else in the world, where the "Who wants to be a Millionaire" franchise is adopted, ordinary people play for real money, for money they can take home and spend as they like. But, in China......

In China, celebrities play. Only celebrities. And whatever they win, they can't keep, they give it to a nominated charity!!

Wow, this is why I LOVE China. In the West (and apparently around the world outside of China) material greed is worshiped too much on Teevee. You have all these game shows which promise INSTANT riches. And ordinary people are drugged (metaphorically speaking) into believing that, WITH LUCK, their lives will be transformed. False hope, in my view. In "America", this idea of false hope and instant happiness is especially given free rein. For example, have a look at this website below. I often see a link to this page from the frontpage of yahoo, a very popular webpage portal in "America".

http://www.bottomlinesecrets.com/store/mags/order_ths_mag_e.html?p=3&am=1&l=3&sk=288522&sid=Y042209A6A

Aha, it's there now. At the bottom of the www.yahoo.com page. I've taken a screendump, cropped it and uploaded it to my server.

This guy has got to be a quack!!. All of his miracle cures are just too good to be true!! Examples. He has a book he wants to sell. Here are some things he claims he can help you with:

Double your strength in just 10 weeks, with a breakthrough so easy, it's even been proven to work for 87-year-olds in nursing homes! Page 273
Shrug off fatigue in seconds, with the astonishing instant oxygen cure pioneered by Dr. Daniel Hamner. Just breathe for a few moments, as instructed, and feel the incredible power rush! Page 509
Erase your wrinkles in just four days, without Botox®, face-lifts or chemical peels. This new breakthrough instantly shrinks your sagging skin cells! Page 22
Wipe out varicose veins in under an hour, without painful surgery or injections. Feel the pain vanish forever in a matter of minutes! Page 491

It promises: "So if you never want to die from CANCER... Never have another STROKE or HEART ATTACK... Never get crippled by OSTEOPOROSIS or EMPHYSEMA... Never fall victim to ALZHEIMER'S, PARKINSON'S or DEMENTIA... Read on!"

Here's the miracle man.

His name is Hugh Downs.

Here's the miracle book:

Which is FREE for the first 30 days by the way if you wish to try it.

The webpage talks about a "project unprecedented in the history of science..."

More Miracles: A complete recovery from a stroke!!

More -A "miracle molecule" that could make bypass surgery, angioplasty and blood pressure drugs obsolete.

Yup, there's more and more. Hallelujah!

"America" - The Land of Miracles! Many, too many, still brag about the American dream there. (&)

Well, maybe, I should buy this book but it'll probably be a load of hokum. (&&)

Instant cures, quick fixes, miracles, transformations, magic..... and religion. That's making a big comeback in the land of magic and make-believe. A far cry from the days of the Founders of "America" in the late 18th century who were invested in the enlightenment, in the age of reason and who had a healthy scepticism of religion and its prescriptions and promises...and threats...

I believe "America"'s fastest growing export these past 10 years hasn't been cars nor computers but..... treasury bills...

For me, China is the land of reality. "America" - the land of fantasy.. I doubt Barack Obama will deliver the land out of fantasyland. As a matter of fact, he appears to be invested in keeping "America" inside it.

(&) And, hopefully, NOT elsewhere.
(&&) Hmm, and what does "free" mean anyway? Hmm, I bet I would have to use my credit card number and......hmmm.

I've been in China now for over 1000 days..

2009-04-17T14:04:00.001-07:00

I've been in China now for over 1000 days.

I have a cool javascript running on my http://paulcarrmystory.blogspot.com blog and I note that yesterday it passed the 1000 day mark. Wow, time flies!! I love China. I don't want to go back to Ireland. Love it here. I'm still in good health. I hope it continues. Went out for a jog tonight. Thanks, y'all, for reading.

Barry Obambi - A Real Disappointment!!

2009-04-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

I've been planning to write this post for some time. I have been getting increasingly disillusioned with Barack Obama and his presidency.

Barry Obambi.

I've already vented my spleen on huffpo (thehuffingtonpost) about this. I don't think he'll be a great president. I don't even think he'll be a good president. He's just another corporate US President. If anything, John McCain would have been better. At least, he didn't lie about where his base lay during his candidacy. He represented the top 1% of the wealthy of the USA. Barack Obama, on the other hand, pretended to cultivate the progressives and reformers as his base. But, as soon as he was elected, he switched his allegience back to the business elite. Maybe a difference between him and McCain is that Obama wants to represent the top 10% of the wealth earners in "America". Whereas, McCain wants to only represent, in the first instance, the top 1%. Man, what a disappointment Obama is.

The USA is a society which faces huge systemic problems. Its economy became greatly inflated during the 2000s. Obama, it would appear, just wants to reinflate the economy and not address the underlying structural faults in the economy. He just wants to throw money at zombie banks to get them lending again and, guess what, they're not lending because he's not being assertive enough to demanding accountability and quid pro quo from the banks. They just gladly take the Government's money and sit on it. And that government's money is the tax-payer's money.

I don't think Obama is clever. How on earth did he become a constitutional lawyer? If he could become a constitutional lawyer, hell, maybe I should give it a try. I mean he can be worse than Bush when it comes to Government secrecy. Recently, the ACLU had been trying to force the US government to release information regarding the previous Bush administration's illegal wiretapping of ordinary people's homes. You know, the sort of thing you'd expect in a police state and not a democracy. Obama doesn't want to release the documents claiming that he has something called "sovereignty immunity" and also invoking the "state secrets" excuse. This "sovereign immunity" defense is entirely new. The Bushies didn't even try it.

Regarding the economy, Obama is going one worse than the Bush administration too. His Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, is pouring huge amounts of money into a new fund to buy up toxic assets and take them off the zombie banks' balance sheets. So, the banks in the USA, which caused the economy crisis in the USA with repercussions around the world, aren't going to be punished but rather rewarded!!. They made bad bets so the US government, backed by the US taxpayer, is going to take the resulting debt of these bad bets off their hands so that the banks can start lending again - and so the cycle of financial boom and bust continues. I think it was the economist Paul Krugman who said recently that Obama doesn't look at the banking crisis as a problem of insolvent banks (obviously this is what it is), rather Obama sees the problem as one of liquidity, i.e. coaxing the banks to lend again, by throwing huge amounts of money at them. Sad. "America" is heading inexorably, I feel, to a economic and political crisis in the years ahead.

Obambi is a medicore President who brings to mind the series of disappointing US Presidents who preceded Abraham Lincoln in the years leading up to 1861. He's a one-termer for sure!! I mean about a week or so into his presidency he frankly shot himself in the foot when he said something like, " I need to turn this economy around during my first term, or I will lose the next election to the Republicans". Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, Obama!! The Republican brand has failed. They are completely discredited now and this is an opportunity for you, Obama, to step into the gap. The question is: can you resurrect an effective Democratic vision to replace the discredited Republican policies and thus move your country and people forward?. Do you have the courage, Obama? I don't think so. Yes, your economy is inflated so it needs to be deflated so that it returns to a sounder footing. You should go on TV and tell the US people that. Tell them, matter of factly, that the economy will continue to shrink, (maybe by 6% this year, another 2% next year, another 1% the year after that and then, finally, in 2012, the economy will break even) And, you know what, if you did that, people will like you because they see you are an honest person and not dishonest like Bush and his cronies. They'll see that you value transparency and you want to be a President who is of the People who works for the People and not the corporations and banks. And, you'll win reelection even with a sluggish economy and high unemployment. But, you don't have the courage.

Fact is Obama is a little too young to be US President. I think the early 50s is the ideal age to be President. I think FDR was 51, Abraham Lincoln was in his early 50s when they became President. Obama lacks executive experience. FDR, I think, was governor of New York state before he became President. The only executive experience Obama has is, I think, editing the Harvard Law Review.

I don't like the spin that surrounds Obama. I hate the manufactured myth surrounding him. For example, people always say he's the first black President. Pleaseeeeee!! Give me a break. You can just as legitimately say he's the 44th white President. His mum was white. His father was black. Oh, and the Iraq War vote. When he was campaigning against Hillary Clinton for the nomination of the Democratic party. He played the Iraq war card. He, and his campaign handlers, said that Hillary Clinton voted for authorization for war with Iraq in October 2002 and he didn't. Yes, Obama you didn't. Why? Because you weren't in the f**king Senate at the time, that's why?!! You can't draw an equivalence between Hillary Clinton's (admittedly stupid) decision to cast her vote for military intervention in Iraq and your non-vote. You weren't in the Senate at the time. You were still a State Representative in Illinois, I think, and you didn't have to face such a consequential vote. You didn't arrive in the US Senate until January 2005. Yes, Hillary was one of, what was it, 77 US Senators who voted Yes. You, Obama are one of the 6.7 billion people of the planet Earth MINUS the 77 US Senators who didn't vote Yes on that resolution. That's the equivalence that can be drawn there. In "America", it's all about packaging, isn't it. Even people are packaged.

Is the USA a democracy? I dunno. Barely, I think. I mean I read a Chinese report on "America" from 2006 where it was stated (based on US sources) that to get elected to the US Senate or the House of Representatives, you need like. at least, 1 million US dollars to run a successful campaign. Where's the fucking democracy in that? That rules out most people .Like 98% plus!! The USA is increasingly run by corporations. The rich. The oligarchs. The USA is a plutocracy. The people who have the money, they run the country. They buy out and honestly bribe almost all the politicians in Washington . It's money, money, money that rules "America" China's leaders are wise to this fact and realise that the way to a Yankee's heart is through his wallet. That's why China is now the single biggest purchaser of US foreign currency. I like this. I like the idea of "America" being on China's leash because for years, "America" liked to preach to China (and any other country) about human rights, ignoring its own human rights violations in its own backyard.

So, anyway, getting back on track, Obama is a real disappointment and he's often annoying. I intend to write more about him with more up-to-date posts. He's out of his depth - because he lacks executive experience. I can only hope he is on a very steep learning curve. But, I'm not hopeful. He seems dense. I can write much much more about how disappointed I am in him. Today, for example, I read he was in Mexico and he told the President there, Filipe Calderon that he wants to reintroduce the ban on "Assault style" military weapons to help President Calderon in his futile war against the drug lords there. President Obama can help so much more by just ending the war on drugs at home, legalizing the sale, manufacture, transport and possession of all drugs, including marijuana, cocaine and heroin.. The "War on Drugs" is a phoney and insincere war. Instead of prosecuting this hopeless war, which only serves to terrorize and intimidate the citizenry, he can free up resources to instead fund treatment programmes for drug addicts, instead of sending them to prison. Sending them to prison!! How stupid that is!! Aren't "America"'s prisons full enough already? How many prisoners now? 2.3 million, I think. But, alas. Obama is not a visionary. He's not willing to confront the dominant neo-con mindset in the US of A either in foreign or domestic policy and he needs to confront the mentality in both. And, so, yeah, indeed, I expect him to be a one-termer, swept away in 4 years by another neo-con Republican, possibly [gulp] a religious fundamentalist like Sarah Palin. I was watching today a very illuminating and educational interview of Noam Chomsky on democracynow.org and Noam Chomsky talks of his concern about the possible rise in the future in the US of A of an "honest demagogue" like Adolf Hitler. So far the USA has luckily only had corrupt ones who were easily seen through and exposed as frauds. But an honest one? Now, that's a scary thought.

Obambi doesn't have backbone. I'm sorry to say that. I'm worried about the state of "America" and, concurrently, I'm worried about the state of the World because of "America". "America"'s military expenditure is roughly half the Global total. A truly frightening place!!

B***h Downstairs!!

2009-04-14T09:14:00.001-07:00

The old lady downstairs strikes again. Today, she talked to my flatmate at a market outside our apartment and she complained that I was making too much noise at night (after midnight), banging doors et cetera. I deny it!!. (&)

Here's what I speculate. She has heard through the rumor mill that I will probably be leaving around the 20th of June (when my apartment contract expires) and she wants to give me, shall we say, "encouragement" to get out.

I wish I could give this old lady a piece of my mind. But, I can't. She doesn't speak English and my Chinese is abysmal. So what am I going to do? What am I going to do?! I'm going to ignore her, IGNORE HER, like before. I'm not saying it's going to work but I'll try it. I'll redouble my efforts to ignore the old cow downstairs. Hasn't worked before though.

You see, it's April. It's heating up rapidly. At night, my bedroom is still kinda hot. A few nights ago, I discovered I really would have to turn on my air conditioner in order to cool down the room. Just 2 weeks before, I would have had to put on a heater because the room was too goddamn cold at night. After March 15th, the government supplied heat is switched off. I guess it's the same situation for the old lady (and her husband?) downstairs. She can't sleep because it's too hot and she doesn't want to waste money just yet switching on her air-conditioner. So, here's what I speculate. What does she do? Why, she blames me, of course!!! The dumb (fucking) foreigner upstairs.

Damn, it's not my fault that I live in the apartment above her. Banging doors. I deny it. Okay, yes, I do go out at night to go jogging. By necessity, I have to open the door to leave and close the door after me and then when I arrive back from my jog around the neighbourhood, I have to open and close the door again. Inevitably, there's a noise report from the door opening and closing, from the lock clicking into its socket and all of that. What am I supposed to do? Tippy toe up to my apartment on the third floor (perhaps/probably the old lady has an issue with the way I walk too, so slovenly, dragging my feet behind me, (deliberately?) dragging my feet and scratching the surface of the floor to make unnecessary noise and then the opening and closing of the front doors of my apartment. Tut tut. I'm not going to compromise with this sour bag. I've compromised with her before. More on that later.

Last I checked, there was NO curfew in my neighbourhood. (&&) If I wanted, I could go outside for a jog at any bloody time of the day or night. Yeah, let me bring up that compromise now. I've written about this before. About 2 years ago (oh, I can't remember exactly when), I bought a "pao bu ji", a treadmill, and I was using it for 3 months without any complaints from her. I think I bought the treadmill at the beginning of July. No complaint from the cranky old lady. But, by November, suddenly, she was complaining about it. At first, yes, I ignored her complaint. Finally, she contacted the local "ju wei hui" who, in turn, contacted the police and, in effect, I was given an ultimatum to stop using the treadmill or.. I'd be evicted. So, I stopped and started jogging outside instead. Jogging outside is something I frankly don't like to do because, you know, it's Dongzhimen in Beijing, and around my neighbourhood, there are many many vast building sites and presumably lots of microscopic dust to contend with. But, anyway, I had no choice. And, now the old bag........ She's still not happy. It would appear that she's not happy with me going out at night to do my night jog because I'm making noise closing and opening the front door and walking up and down the stairs to and front my third floor. And, possibly, it's worse than that. I'll get to that in a moment. As written, I wasn't aware there was a curfew in place in this neighbourhood or building. (&&&)

I'm not going to submit to her bullshit. There is give-and-take in any neighbourly relations. But, this old lady, hmm, I think she's in her 50s or 60s, not sure, apparently, the poor lady has a persecution complex. She thinks I'm out to get her. She thinks I'm trying to annoy her deliberately. She thinks that she's the centre of the universe and everything that happens in the world must relate back to her. It would appear she thinks I'm trying to annoy her in her egocentric world view. As written, I've already compromised with her. I stopped using the "paobuji" which, by the way, cost a friggin' fortune (2000 to 3000 rmb if memory serves correctly), now in mothballs. I started jogging outside. I was very very reluctant to do this. During this past winter for example, I went jogging outside in the freezing cold, all because this haggardly old lady wouldn't let me use the paobuji in my apartment. Yes, that's right, after NOT complaining about it for 3 months, she decided to complain and when I ignored her then, she got the local "ju wei hui" (local neighbourhood committee) involved and finally the police. I'm not going to be intimidated by this woman!!!

So, anyway, these past 2 nights, I started going outside to jog very very late (or very very early depending on one's point of view), like, you know about 3 o'clock in the morning!!. I think this was the last straw for her (or, alternatively, her opportunity) to get the foot in and let me know (through my Chinese speaking flatmate) that she really really wishes that I get out of her hair at the end of June when my present apartment contract expires. And, you know what, I might just oblige her!! This woman is impossible!! You know what I'm thinking, I'm thinking she wouldn't mind now if I used the "pao bu ji"!! It's damned if I do, damned if I don't. I can't use the "pao bu ji". I can't jog outside. Nothing can please this hag.

She grew up in the 60s, I think, during Mao's cultural revolution and she was instructed to be suspicious of foreigners. And, yes, I think she has a deep rooted suspicion and, let's not beat about the bush, a deep seated hatred for foreigners. I could never please her because of WHO I am. Is she racist? Damn, right, she is!! [sniff]. So, what am I going to do now? F**king nothing!! Will it work? Dunno... Possibly not!! Oh, let me tell you, I tried to compromise with this old hag over the pao bu ji dispute at the time. I offered to only use the fucking thing before 8 o'clock in the evening (despite conflicts with my work commitments that this may have caused). I had been using it up to 10 o'clock before that. She wasn't interested in compromise. She wanted me , BELATELY, to stop using it altogether and she got the "ju wei hui" and possibly the police to bully me into submission. (&&&&) I guess it was November and it was getting cold. Before that, she could always leave the apartment and go to a nearby park or something to get away from the infernal noise I was making on the pao bu ji. But, come November, it was getting too too cold and she had to stay indoors and couldn't bear the loud noise I was making. I confess that I used the pao bu ji with my sneakers on. You see, I have had for many many years, a sore ankle, left ankle which was remedied with specially fitted orthotic insoles so I jogged on the pao bu ji not with my bare feet but with my sneakers on (with special insoles fitted) which may have made more noise. I'm just fed up appeasing this woman. I appeased her before. I wrote about this hag before. Back then, when I defied her (I initially refused to stop using the pao bu ji until she got the "ju wei hui" and the police involved), I wrote about my defiance in very clearcut terms on my blog. I was even promised by my rental agent that I could use the pao bu ji in my apartment but, in the end, I had to back down to appease the bitch. That's the problem, you see. I'm in China. I don't really speak Chinese. She has all the cards. She can lie and lie and lie about me. And, oh, she had lied before about me. Including the time, she contacted my agent who, in turn, contacted me because my apartment was "flooded". I was at the zoo with my friend having a good time and next we had to go back via taxi (took about 45 minutes) in a hurry and I was in a panic/a little worried and when we got back, I went straight to my apartment and..... what do you know, no fucking flood, nothing. Then, my friend and I went into her apartment and we saw that she had this tiny piddling stream of water drops running down her bathroom mirror. Okaaaaaaay. On the basis of this, the old lady assumed my apartment was "flooded"? Fucking nonsense. She's a bigot. She hates foreigners. She enjoys annoying foreigners and intimidating foreigners like me. I'm not going to be intimidated. True, there's a communication barrier, a language barrier. [scoffs]. I remember when I first moved in, a few months in, she was complaining I was making noise (I was told via an interpreter). This was even before I bought the pao bu ji (which I think was at the beginning of July 2007). Yeah, I used to sneak around my apartment like a scared mouse even before then and when I listened to movies or music on my computer, I'd always listen to it through my earphones. I never dared to use the speakers because Little Miss Upset would get upset. Bitch!!! Fucking foreigner hating Bitch!!. That was bullshit then. I never got a "Huanying Guanglin" from her, that's for sure!!. And, my friend then..... At the time old lady complained that my apartment was "flooded". How could she possibly know that? My friend then wanted to talk to her afterwards to say that there was a misunderstanding and I was sorry for pointing my finger at her and saying that she lied. But, by gosh, she did lie!!!. My friend insisted on talking with the old bag. I shouldn't have relented and I should have insisted, no no no, don't talk to her!!. Don't talk to the old bag. She lied. And, she wouldn't apologize for stating that my apartment was flooded and telling this to the landlord agent. (&&&&&) Fucking bullshit. At least the landlord agent realised this afterward when they saw my apartment for themselves and saw that, indeed, there was no f**king leak any f**king where (or flood) (&&&&&&) Okay, I think there was a minor repair made afterwards to my shower head (which I am convinced had NOTHING to do with the droplets on the old lady's bathroom mirror. Her apartment is identical to mine, immediately below mine. Since then, I've been at pains to put the shower head in the bathroom sink so that no water can fucking leak on the fucking floor. (&&&&&&&) It's an old old building!! Fuck it!! I can't be blamed if the building is old. Yes, a lot of bad will from her. Never a friendly word. And like 6 months after I stopped using the pao bu ji, I was talking to her (by accident I assure you!!) and all I could pick up from her was "pao bu ji, pao bu ji". Idiot!! Yeah, that's right, old lady, Mao instructed you 40 years ago to hate foreigners and make them feel unwelcome in your country. After all, it was the bourgeoise foreigners who corrupted the Qing dynasty and I, a blood successor, ought to be punished for it. She's so so stupid. She soaked up all this prejudice decades ago and , she's so so stupid that years later, she is unable to address it and reform it even after meeting an increasing number of foreigners (as she inevitably has done in modern Beijing). Sad, sad.

And, now, she's on a collision course with me again. I'm not on a collision course with her. SHE has decided to go on a collision course with me. I've been jogging outside after midnight since November!! She never complained then. Why now? Fucking bullshit. But, I'm in China and my options are limited. My rights here are limited. I'm certainly not going to confront her about this. She would like that though. An excuse to get the police AGAIN. No, as written, I'm just going to IGNORE her. And, as written, it may not work. I expect the "ju wei hui" and/or police will be posting a notice on my door soon to say that unless I stop banging my front door, I will be evicted in a week. [shakes head]. Yeah, bitch, I got the message 2 years, nearly 3 years ago, you hate foreigners. It is duly noted. You don't welcome us here.

(&) My tactic is to ignore her. If I appease her, the bitch will be encouraged to stick her boot in and intimidate me further. She's a fascist.

(&&) I doubt China is this bad... Let me tell you, I think this old lady is unhappy!!!!!!..... This is what this boils down to. And, now, I'm wondering, okay, is the old hag *really* going to get the "ju wei hui" and the police AGAIN down my ass. Surely, the police and the "ju wei hui" must be onto the fact that this woman is no credible. She lies. Surely, they must know that. She's an old fashioned "Communist/Conservative" who wanted to see China's clock turned back to the conservative society of pre-1978 Deng Xiao Peng's reforms. But, as written, I'm a lame-assed foreigner who can't speak the language and so she has all the cards and there's fucking nothing I can do about it. Just wait powerlessly for the bitch the make her next move.

(&&&) I don't believe there is a fucking curfew like that. This isn't fucking North Korea....

(&&&&) Again, as written, I'm in China, I can't speak Chinese really and so I'm at a disadvantage speaking to the authorities where she always has the advantage. I can't argue my case, so-to-speak. I can't defend myself or attempt to negotiate a compromise. Frankly, I'm at the fucking mercy of her, the "ju wei hui" and the police. There's nothing I can do, other than learn Chinese which is, so so difficult. It'll take me 10 years to learn it to an acceptable level I think.

(&&&&&) Yeah, my friend then wanted to talk with the old cow and say there was a misunderstanding or something like that, but, fuck it, it only served to encourage the old bag to continue to harass me and grumble again and again and again. Surely, other elderly Chinese people in the building and the neighbourhood are onto the fact that she's full of bullshit and ........... Good grief. [sighs]. Maybe, it's time for me to pack my bags and just find a new environment just for the sake of finding a new environment.

(&&&&&&) Right, they would have realised then she was a fucking Cassandra. I speculate that the previous Chinese occupants of my apartment also left because of her constant complaining. Hag!!

(&&&&&&&) But, even that's problematic. I mean, what the fuck is a shower for? The shower room is tiled and it's slightly angled so that the water pours into the drain. I'm suremost shower rooms are the same all over China.

"And the Top B***h Award for 2008 goes to........."

2009-04-05T10:17:00.000-07:00

[sighs]. Well, tonight, had thrown up a world of trouble. :-(.

I came home this evening from Wangfujing street. Cycled back to my apartment in Dongzhimen. And. I turned on my computer and I had intended to update my blog but..... the internet was down. Apparently, my bill hasn't been paid. My flat mate should have done this!! Damn.

:-)

Anyway, that wasn't the end of it. I decided to type my post anyway. A long long one and I planned to go to a "wangba" (armed with passport) to use a USB drive to then quickly upload my blog post to my blog. But..... The nearby "Wang Ba" had no available computer with a USA port. :-( Not one to give up. I returned to my apartment, and printed out the lengthy post and I have now returned to the "wang ba" to type the bloody thing verbatim. I hope my touch typing comes in useful. I'll also write an addendum at the end. Just want to add, I'm just fed up of having these thoughts in my head and then I never f**king write them down....ever [grits teeth] Come on, Paul. Don't be that lazy. You can always make time.

Thanks for reading. Between the lines is what I wrote earlier in my apartment.

22:13 05/04/2009

Well, I wanted to update my blog tonight but discovered to my annoyance that my internet has been cut off, presumably because I hadn't paid my bill. Okay, I'll update it anyway and go over to a nearby "WangBa" to upload it. Ha!!

Something I wanted to talk about. This Chinese girl rang me a few weeks ago (oh maybe 6 weeks ago now). She sounded like someone I knew. I asked her, "Is this LIsa?" She said yes. In fact, later, I would discover her (English) name wasn't Lisa at all. It was something else. It's true though. Her English was poor. Maybe, she just didn't understand my question and just answered "Yes" so that I could move onto something else to talk about. Now, I know Lisa is a nice sweet girl. And, this girl, like Lisa, had a nice sweet voice. Not the sort of girl who would engage in "naughtiness".

Anyway, next thing she asked me (this was at the beginning when I thought she was sweet Lisa (a friend of mine) I told you about), "Do you like sex?" Arm... I decided to put on my tolerant liberal hat and go along with this. I guess I said "of course, don't you?" and all of that. Next, she starts making orgasm noises on the phone. Now, I'm still in my bed. She phoned me in the morning I think.

In hindsight, I think she was faking it. She asks me questions like. Oh, no wait, she says that she's dressed like a teenager. She asks me kind of, "I sould like a teenager, yes?".

Anyway, after she's done with her orgasm act, we talk for over half an hour and I gradually extract some more information from her. I can't really speak Chinese yet, sorry. And, her English was pretty poor but enough to get by. I learned that, ah, it wasn't the sweet LIsa I thought she was. Her (English) name was something else. I forget now. I think she told me that she was a student at this or that college, blaa, blaa, blaa. And, after half an hour, of my trying to be charming and projecting myself as a really tolerant, nice guy, I ask her to send me her photo and then we could meet.

She had presumably saw my ad on thebeijinger. Oh, yeah, I forgot. She rang before. About a week before previously and she told me that she saw my ad on thebeijigner but that she couldn't remember what I wrote. I was annoyed by that. I told her, "Hey, is that my problem?" I think I also said, "You're rude to ring me without knowing what I wrote on my ad". And, yeah, I think she was rude and I hung up. I think it must have given her a shock because a week later she rang back and started doing her orgasm spiel. I think she's 24 or so, if I recall correctly. For some reason, most of the girls who contact me as a result of my beijinger ad are around 24.

Anyway, she promised me that she would send me her photo. I told her that when she did, we could meet up for a cup of coffee.

I had already learned the hard way that it's not a good idea, it's a bad idea to meet up with a date whose picture you haven't seen. It's unfair, you see. They have your photo from the beijinger ad and more photos from my blog if they care to read tha. So, anyway, she told me that THAT AFTERNOON, (fucking bitch liar), she would send me her photo. And, no, she didn't. She told me that she had class in her university that morning and that she could send me the photo that afternoon. She didn't.

That afternoon, later that afternoon, I had not received her photo so I texted her again to remind her. No reply. In fact, I think it may have been 2 or 3 days before she replied. I think then she texted me back to say sorry something or other.

Okay, a week goes by and, one morning, she rings again. I'm in bed. Although, it's about 9 o'clock in the morning, I'm very very tired.. I'm used to going to bed around 5 or 6 o'clock after reading on wikipedia et cetera. Indeed, she remarks that she thinks I'm tired. She sounded surprised.

Anyway, remember, she hadn't sent me her photo at all like she had promised. And, once again, she starts her spiel. "Are you alon?" blaa blaa blaa. I told her that she had promised to send me her photo and she didn't. And, then I hung up.

NO word from her since. Bitch!! She lied to me. She told me that she would send me her photo and then we would meet up. Instead, she ahem didn't and rang me a week later thinking that maybe I'd forget and tolerate her bullshit on the phone. Well, I'm not that stupid.

I guess I have to learn a lesson from this. If a girl/woman starts making orgasm noises on the phone, hang the f**king phone up.
**********************************************

Actually, regarding relationships and friendships and all of that, that's not the only thing I want to write about now. I find it so so frustrating taht there are so so many things that I want to write about and then,...................I never write about it. I mean before the end of last year, I had planned to write a post with the title, "And the top Bitch Reward for 2008 goes to...........".

Okay, I'm going to write it now.

You know, I've met some really nasty women on dates over the past 2 to 3 years in China. But, there's one woman I think above all others that takes the biscuit. I think I may have written about her before but well, I have yet to confer her the honour of "Top Bitch of 2008,...........and 2007". I think I met her in 2007 actually.

Again, same story. I placed an ad in thebeijinger looking for a friend/girlfriend, chinese girlfriend/friend and all that. She rings back. I'm impressed that she rang back, most Asian women just e-mail or add your msn messenger address. ANd, so, cocky as hell, I say, "Okay, let's meet tonight on a date.". She says, "Okay, where?". I say, "Dongzhimen subway station?" She's okay with that. I think she lived in Dongzhimen anyway. Great. Our quick 5 minute conversation was over. I had to work as a teacher. Busy guy. So, anyway, come 6 that evening, it was time for the appointment. Unfortunately, I'm a little late, like 10 minutes late, and she texts me, "You're late". Oh, dear, she seems cross!!

And, that's when I did the stupid thing. Why put up with bullshit like that, Paul? She had your photo on thebeijinger and I didn't have hers and she now had the balls (yeah, she kinda looks like an Asian Ann Coulter when I finally met her) to chastise me for being late. I should have fucking fired back a test message reading,

"Oh, I was just 1 minute from meeting you. But, now, I've changed my mind. You're rude. I'm going home. You've got my photo but I don't have yours. In others, this is a blinddate for me, but not for you. You're selfish and impatient. Goodbye.".

Bitch, that's what I should have written. But, I didn't. Instead, I continued walking towards her, meeting her a minute later and kindof grovelling. What the fuck was I thinking? I was the one who had the fucking courage to meet her without even knowing what she looked like and she complains about me. Bitch.

Anyway, I think.......... We went to a nearby cheap restaurant and had some food. And, well, you know the story. She hardly talks at all. I get very little information from her, apart from oneliners. She works in an office. She's a consultant of some sort. She can work at home. Me, the fucking idiot that I was, spilled the beans about myself. Well, that's me. I'm not a believer in secrets. I told her tha my mother was paying me money (true) and paying off my credit card debt for me (true) and, well, for that, and other things, she's not impressed. She says that it's not good to eat the fatty food I was eating in the restaurant. I think it was "tang su li ji" or something like that. Finally, she gets up and leaves. I try my best to dend myself and I don't attack her. At least, I don't recall I did. Yeah, she struck me as a snobby bitch who thinks she's superior to all men. Idiot.

So, yeah, she had the "Top Bitch of 2008" crown and 2007 too. And, she's also in the running for 2009 and so far leads handily. Well, she was pretty tall. 172cm I think. Nice and slim. Mannish face though like Ann Coulter as I recall. Anyway, that was that.

You know, I've mentioned before. Over the past 2 and a half years, especially in 2007, I have dated many many women, most of them Chinese (one Japanese, one Mongolian too) and well, most I guess were okay. But, yeah, I've learned a lot from meeting all those women. The first thing I've learned is, "Don't be such a jerk, Paul". In other words, don't put up with shit, Paul.. In other words, regarding the Chinese woma I mentioned above, she complains about you before she even fucking met you, then, fucking turn around and go home and fire off a long text message to the bitch to explain why you are turning around and going home.. And, if she sends you another impatient text message whilst you're preparing yours, delete the fucking thing and refuse to take her phone call if she rings. Yeah, she's angry. Well, I'm fucking angrier still.

That's it, Paul. Don't put up with shit. And, I think that's whta I've learned. Don't put up with shit. Life's hard enough as it is. Be angry. Don't be a passive shit, facilitating bad tempered idiots like this woman above.

Anyway, she was one nasty shit. Another one I'd mention briefly. Again, I think I met her back in 2007 and, in all probability, wrote about her at the time. Just to say, ah, again, I agreed to meet her at Dongzhimen subway station at 8 o'clock. OKay, and get this.... I arrive at Dongzhimen subway station at 8 o'clock as we agreed and, wait for it, I ring her and she tells me she's still in her apartment. [teeth clenched]. Yeah, you got it. Sure, she lives near, in Dongzhimen Nei Dajie. Only about 5 minutes away but, anyway, it's like 15 minutes later before she finally arrived in her black dominatrix clothing. Yeah, and she's another one of these women who I didn't even ask to send me her photo first. In hindsight, I should have. It's a rule I have now,.. If you want to meet me, send me your photo, BECAUSE YOU HAVE MIND. Got it? It's got nothing to do with I need to know if the girl is beautiful and pretty and all that before I meet her. No, it's got to do with FAIRNESS. Anyway, the gall on this girl was incredible. I had told her tha the walk to my apartment was about 10 minutes. About 10 minutes into the walk back to my apartment where we had agreed to go, she complains, "It's more than 10 minutes to your apartment... You didn't tell me the truth.". I mean she had the gall to complain about me. After telling me taht she was still in her fucking apartment, after I rang her at Dongzhimen subway station at 8 o'clock where we had agreed to meet. Yes, WE HAD AGREED TO MEET AT DONGZHIMEN SUBWAY STATION AT 8 O'CLOCK AND SHE WAS STILL IN HER FUCKING APARTMENT AT THE TIME WE HAD AGREED TO MEET. And, still, she complained about my lying about the distance from Dongzhimen subway station to my apartment. Well, it wasn't a lie. It is, in fact, 10 minutes fast walk to my apartment, but, since, we were talking in a so-far friendly manner, we were going slowly and so that time it took was roughly twice as long or more. So, come on. Anywaym, that's what really galls me about that. WE got to my apartment and we were talking and she starts talking about sex. And, then I ask her some follow up questions and she refuses to answer them because she doesn't want to talk about sex. Impossible girl. Then, she started saying I was rude. I don't know what I said back. I hope I said she was rude too. I fucking should have. I escorted her out of my apartment and exercised enough restraint at least not to kick her in the ass out the apartment door. Yeah, I think I said she was rude too. Again, she was another one of those non-talkative kinds, just give a one sentence conversation killer and she thinks that's fine. I recall she was working for a magazine (art/desigh) as an editor. And, she was dressed like a goth girl. Maybe, she was 27 or so. She had black clothes on. Well, she was sexy, no doubt about that. Black clothes, black big deal. Black lips, black high heeled boots and all that. Nice. But, personality. Crikes!! Another angry young girl. And, no apology for breaking her fucking promise to be at Dongzhimen subway station at 8 o'clock. No, no, angry girls don't apologize, apparently not to losers like me. (&)

That's it. Maybe, that's it. Maybe, most women think if a guy agrees to meet a woman so easily without even checking out her photo or asking for her photo (and I didn't regarding the two women above), he must be a loser, or a Don Juan or a goat or a bad boy, or an idiot, or a comedian or something. And, therefore, it's okay to treat him like a dirty carpet to wipe your dirty boots on. Damn it, do I give that impression.

But, you know what? After writing this post, I'm thinking I'm going to meet some more women on blind dates ( I mean where she can see my photo but I don't have their photo). Why not? And any more shit and snottiness like these two ladies exhibited to me, then, I'M going to walk out on them!! Damn yes!! That's what I'll do... :-D

So, yeah, I'm on a learning curve. And, yeah, I've got stung a few times. These are just two of the most egregious examples. There are more. Thing is, when I first came to Chian, I had virtually no meaningful experience of dating girls. So, it was all new to me and, subsequently, I put up with a lot of shit from immature idiots.

I should acknowledge at this point regarding the 40 plus Chinese women (and one Mongolian and one Japanese) that, well, they are cosmopolitan, that is for sure. I mean the goth girl I talk about above seemed very artistic and cosmopolitan (unfortunately, she was too bitchy for her own good as well). Some of these Chinese women are, well, open minded? Maybe. I'm the sort of guy, a far-too-forgiving guy who tries to see the good in all of God's creatures even two tortured creatures like the two women I've written about. The experience of meeting them was good for me even the really really bad ones.

Anyway, I should continue with the dating thing. I should post another ad on thebeijinger and meet some more Chinese women if I can. HeHe. Hopefully, I'm not too old and ugly yet. I'm jogging every day now (almost). I think I'm reasonably handsome. Hmm, there was something else I wanted to write about. Arm... [racks brain].

Yeah, just to be clear, these two women I write about above, they saw my ad on thebeijinger and they saw my photo and when I met them I hadn't even asked them for their photo. In hindsight, I should have. Because, I suspect that for many many women, if you don't, they'll think you're not serious and that you're an idiot and, more pertinently, feel that they have been granted a license to put on their bitch mask and be permanently angry with you.

Okay, I think I've vented my spleen enough tonight. I'll go later to a web cafe and upload this and publish this. Thanks for reading.

ADDENDUM.

Whoosh. Done.Bugger. It must have taken nearly an hour to type that.

Some things to add. Okay, it has to be objectively said that, well, the internet is not the ideal place to meet people socially. Bars and nightclubs and so on are the traditional routes. Fine. Thinking about that, yeah, I guess there is validity to this argument. I mean the women I meet on dates are also convinced I think that the men, I mean all the men, they met HAVE TO be socially inept just because they are using the internet to meet women. I've been taken to the cleaners by some guy before. He told me that blogging et cetera and meeting people you meet first online is not the best way to find a girlfriend. Maybe. [sighs]. And, man, I have tried!! I have tried, tried, tried to find a nice wholesome good girl to be my girlfriend... Hmm, try harder then...

(&) Anger is in those girls' DNA. Don't be hard on yourself, Paul. Next time, when they're about to declare war, you f**king well declare war first, y'hear..... That's how you deal with angry little brats.

Okay, one final thing (I think). This is to do with a job I was offered a while back. I met this woman. During our first meet, you offered me a job, full time teaching position, teaching English "for 15 hours a week". Yeah. I thought she meant 15 class periods. But, no, later, when the time came to sign the contract, she told me it wasn't 15 class periods. She said something like, "Each class is 40 minutes. So. it's not 15 class periods." Doing the calculation in my head, it was like 22 to 23 class periods. And, she forwarded me a contract to sign where I would, initially at any rate, work a 18 class period week (plus 2 extra hours of teacher seminars). Well, I wasn't happy with her moving the goal posts. I revised the contract looking for more money and she deigned not to reply.

[sighs]. Some time later, she rings me. I mean 6 weeks later or so. She says she had a one afternoon job for me to do. Just one afternoon and she says, "Oh, and I can give you back the book you left by accident during your demo.". or something like that.

Anyway, I refused the job offer politely. About 10 minutes later, she rings back again. I think she was a little rattled. She asked me why I had refused to take the job. I was all polite in my answer. I said, you know, it was only one day and I wanted a more permanent job, part time or full time. I was so so nice, as is my wont. I also said, "There was a misunderstanding regarding the job you offered me before. I thought you meant 15 teaching periods, , not 15 hours (to be broken down in 22 to 23 teaching periods). I was conciliatory. I think I shouldn't have been. I think I should have laid it down straight for her. "You lied to me. You misled me. You told me 15 hours. I assumed 15 class periods. If you meant more than 15 class periods (like up to 23 apparently) then you should have told me this.". But, anyway, I didn't do this. I guess because I had already criticised her via text message whilst we were negotiating my contract. So, I backed down from being overtly critical again. But, fuck it, Paul, you should have took her on. She fucking well knows she lied. But, I'm a little like Barack Obambi. I like everyone to feel good.

I bet she won't ring me again now. That's me. I'm like Obambi. Keep everyone sweet. But, in all probability, it's a waste of time. She's just a killer businesswoman wanting to make a profit. And, for her, that means, not being honest with the teacher she means to employ. That's why she had employment problems. She had told me already.

Okay, enough written. I'll upload this.

Hilarious..

2009-04-04T12:52:00.000-07:00

I scanned this from China Daily 2 weeks ago or so. At the time, I just found it hilarious!!.

My guess is, in China, taking drugs or being in possession of drugs is a bad thing. I think it's understandable if that's the case because the Brits used only opium as their means to pay for Chinese silver in the early part of the 19th century. And, then, when the Manchu government decided that they were going to ban the import of it because many of their citizens were getting addicted to it, the British declared war. A good profit always trumps public health issues.

I was reading on Glenn Greenwald's blog here

http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2009/04/02/portugal/index.html

He writes about the success of Portugal's drug decriminalization scheme where the use and consumption of even so-called hard drugs like cocaine and heroin, in addition to marijuana and other drugs have been decriminalized. Wouldn't it be great if the USA were to go the same way? How about legalize them altogether!! I mean according to one recent survey which was done a full 16% of USAites have tried cocaine in their lifetime and something like 45% have tried marijuana. Legalize drugs, damn it!!. Tax it and regulate it. People are too scared to get treatment if they are addicted to really toxic and addictive drugs like cocaine and heroin because they fear, with justification, that if they try to get help, they'd be indicted and go to prison. As Glenn Greenwald presented in his report to the Cato Institute,

http://www.cato.org/pubs/wtpapers/greenwald_whitepaper.pdf

a result of the new decriminalization disposition in Portugal is that people now have the courage to come forward and get help from their Government to "do cold turkey" and finally kick their habit. The Portuguese government would even respect their decision not to inform their next-of-kin if that's their wish.

Now, that is enlightenment. Think about this so called "War on Drugs" in the US which, in fact, has been going on since 1906. What it's really about is the US government telling its citizens not to do x, y or z because, because...... they tell you so. That's bull. Okay, it's wrong to murder. I get it. It's wrong to steal, I accept that. Laws must be laid down and punishments enforced. But, taking cocaine or amphetamines or heroin or other psychotropic substances.... Come on.. As long as they're not harming any one else. What's the problem? Look, smoking nicotine and drinking alcohol is more addictive and more damaging and toxic than taking ecstasy tablets or taking marijuana (doing weed). See table.

So, there's no common sense basis there already to criminalize the use and possession of those drugs.. And, regarding more addictive and damaging drugs like cocaine and heroin, look, what is a sensible drug policy all about? It's about helping the guy who is addicted to something that is harmful to him, that is toxic and that can kill him. So, you treat him. You don't send him to prison. You put in place a law that will encourage him or her to come forward and get treatment (for free) so that he/she can kick his habit and lead a fully productive life again. Surely, that is the duty of government!!. To help its citizens to lead their lives as full participants in the body politic.

Yeah, I did some reading up on drug taking on wikipedia in recent days. Back in the early 20th century, when the first drugs laws were being put in place, the race card was played unashamedly by unethical, lazy and stupid politicians to get anti-drug laws passed. For example, politicians pressed for opiates to be banned or restricted because they said otherwise good white American women were being lured into secretly marrying "Chinamen" and living with them in their opium dens where they became hopelessly addicted to opium. Politicians said that Negros in the south of the USA were reported to have acquired superhuman strength and were murdering people because of cocaine consumption. They said that .38 calibre guns had to be issued to police officers instead of the previous .32 calibre in order to "take down" such a negro. Absolutely appalling. Back in those days, politicians knew that if they were responsible public servants, they would try to help their citizenry by putting in laws to treat addiction but, instead, they played the race card as a means of sweeping the problem under the carpet and pretending it didn't exist. Lazy lawmakers are those who don't like making laws apart from just banning this, that and everything else which would otherwise require a public servant to do some work. Convenient.

It wasn't until the Nixon presidency that the war on (some) drugs was officially declared but, in fact, tough laws against drugs were on the books for decades. By contrast, in the 19th century, this wasn't an issue, like it shouldn't be. As late as 1895, I think, a Sears and Roebuck catalogue was selling a shot of cocaine to millions of Americans. From Wikipedia. "In the 1800s opiates and cocaine were mostly unregulated drugs. In the 1890s the Sears & Roebuck catalogue, which was distributed to millions of Americans homes, offered a syringe and a small amount of cocaine for $1.50" And, there's a famous quote that has been attributed to Abraham Lincoln when he first entered to Illinois House of Representatives in 1840. He is supposed to have said, "Prohibition goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation,and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes.". I believe he said it. But, modern day conservatives in the USA like to seed doubt and rewrite history regarding historical US figures. You know, they say that George Washington was a religious man despite the fact that there's plenty of evidence that he wasn't particularly religious at all and actually adopted a pretty casual approach to his own church attendance. And, for people like Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin, well, those thinkers verged on atheism.

But, political leaders in the USA are dumbing down, unlearning the common sense that actuated the Founders of their own country. I got this great quote from the Fareed Zakaria audio book I enjoyed listening to recently called "The Rise of the Rest". Fareed Zakaria writes, "The 100 years between 1450 and 1550 marked the most significant break in human history between faith, ritual and dogma on the one hand and observation, experimentation and critical thought on the other. And, it happened in Europe, pushing that civilisation forward for centuries"

Indeed, but it seems in the USA today, their political class are pulling its citizens, albeit kicking and screaming, in the other direction, from observation, experimentation and critical thought back towards faith, ritual and dogma. Yes, the sorts of things that the Founders of the USA, people like Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington and Benjamin Franklin emphatically rejected. That's because in their day they learned from reading their history books about the futility of the religious 30 year war fought in Europe from 1618 to 1648, a war that pitched Catholics against Protestants and led to atrocities commited against both sides in the name of religion, that set of thought processes which elevates faith, ritual and dogma over and above observation, experimentation and critical thought.

The War on Drugs in the US is, I think, a war on critical thought. You are to obey your government's dictum or else..... You're not supposed to contemplate on the utter ludicrousness of penalizing someone who just possesses a plant or resin of some sort with a life or a near-life prison sentence (as is the case in some countries). That's because you're not supposed to contemplate at all. You're not to supposed to think. Just put your faith in..... faith and magic......And, be finally you will be received into final salvation on the day of judgment.

If Obama had any brains he would move now in the direction of legalizing the manufacture, transport, possession and use of all drugs. Clean the slate and start afresh. Let's start with an enlightened drug policy where people are helped, not inhibited, not intimidated.. People ought to be encouraged to be full participatory citizens, not guilt stricken and protesting their innocence that they didn't inhale.

But, unfortunately, in a recent question and answer session, US President Barack Obama seemed dismissive of changing the laws on drugs in his country. He doesn't seem to get that the War on Drugs that Nixon cleverly declared 40 years ago had nothing whatsoever to do with a genuine regard for dotoxing the US public but all to do with giving Republicans a political edge on the ideological battlefront of ideas with their Democratic counterparts. He failed on this regarding his own presidency (he would sink with Watergate) but, beyond that, his "War on Drugs" was a fantastic success, contributing to Republican and Right-of-Centre pre-eminence in the political ideological battlefront for much of the next 40 years and, sad to say, it appears to be continuing under Obama because like many of his party colleagues he appears to be adopting Republican thought processes and modes of behaviour.

Obama isn't a great President in the mold of Abraham Lincoln or FDR (Franklin Delano Roosevelt). He likes to orchestrate photos of himself with a picture of Old Abe behind him. Bull. I just don't think he's clever enough. In fact, I call Barack Obama Obambi. See below.

Yeah, regarding the drug question at that question and answer session I mentioned above, he laughed it off, speculating that maybe those (many many thousands incidently) who had submitted the question about legalizing drugs on the change.org website (it was the top or nearly the top question on many of the categories listed) were on some weed themselves or on something themselves. I'm paraphrasing of course. But, really. I mean dumb. A great man like Abraham Lincoln or FDR wouldn't have responded this way.

And look at Mexico where the Mexican President, Felipe Calderon is engaging in a most brutal crackdown on the drug cartels there. And, as Newton's 3rd Law of Physics states; Every reaction has an equal and opposite reaction. So, the drug cartels and the petty criminals are pushing back with equal brutality. People are kidnapped, ransomed and then killed and cut to pieces anyway and buried unceremoniously in unmarked graves. Of course, the crimes of the drug cartels are reported in the Mexican press whereas Mexican police misconduct is probably seriously underreported. I read that something like 6000 people died in the drug war in Mexico in 2006 or 2007. 6000 people. Mostly civilians. That's twice the death toll of 9/11!. And I read that 95% of the guns are coming in from across USA border where guns are legally available. Even heavy weaponry is coming in from the States, apparently acquired illegally there. And, of course, the money. It's a lucrative business. The drug trade. And, that's why they take risks.

This is what happens when it's illegal and unregulated to take drugs. You just create a criminal underclass who exploit the opportunity and snap after the huge profits that are to be made (as well as at each other).. It was the same with alcohol prohibition that raged in the States from 1919 to 1933.. The criminal underworld thrived and crime (such as murder) climbed. And, after prohibition was done away with by Roosevelt, crime dropped. Yup, that's commonsense.

Felipe Calderon is a conservative. He really believes that his war against the cartels will be successful and perhaps Obama will help him. But, I don't think he'll win. It'll be a fight to an exhausting draw and then things will continue as before. Felipe Calderon means well but ultimately he is misguided.

I think the US government can help Felipe Calderon or any other Mexican President big time by legalizing all drugs in the States, ending the war on drugs, taxing and regulating drugs so that people have access only to safe drugs and not dangerous, adulterated drugs. No more dirty needles and accidental HIV or Hepatitis B or C infection through dirty needles. Sensible policies should be put in place. The US government can take a lead on the issue in the Americas. Mexico will probably follow suit. And the drug cartels, well, they'll have to go legitimento.. and allow themselves to be taxed and regulated... and, there'll be no more executions and gangland killings and tit-for-tat killings between the police and the cartels, no more war. It's all common sense. But, unfortunately, the politicians in the US, starting with Barack Obama, just don't have the smarts to get it

So, I frankly don't see how Obama can help Calderon now. Erm, give him more guns? Hmm...It's, in the words of economist Paul Krugman, a terrible mess.

One reason why I left Ireland.

2009-04-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

2 days ago, I was doing what I do every day, surfing the internet. As is my wont everyday, I visit wikipedia to see what's up and 2 days ago, on the front page of wikipedia, this caught my eye!!

Not the second story, the first one. I come from the Republic of Ireland and Brian Cowen is my Taoiseach (or Prime Minister). I saw this and I wondered to myself, wow, maybe, he got drunk after some wild party with his political party colleagues and in fulfillment of some wild bet, he stripped his clothes off and ran around the streets of Dublin naked.

Well, no.... I clicked on the link and it took me to a story which was really quite pedestrian. Apparently, some artist walked into two art galleries in Dublin and hung or left two paintings of Brian Cowen there and in them he was bare from the chest up. Yeah, you got it!! He wasn't even naked. Maybe, all these years, I have misconstrued the meaning of the word, "naked". There I was thinking it meant, you know, you show your private parts as well as the rest of you. But, no.. These were two paintings where Brian Cowen wasn't even naked and, what is more, he didn't even knowingly pose for these paintings. Yup. Some painter just wanted to show the paintings and he put quite a neutral sounding caption under the paintings. In the caption, Brian Cowen is referred to by his nickname, Biffo, which stands for "Big Ignorant Fucker From Offaly". Yeah, I know, it's idiotic.

According to the wikipedia article, the Taoiseach, Brian Cowen, was even amused by the whole incident. A few days later, it was reported on the 9 o'clock news on RTE1, the Republic of Ireland's chief news station (Like CCTV1 in China) and then the following day on Ray D'arcy's show. And, get this, the following night after the first report, RTE news issued an apology for any upset caused to the Taoiseach (and his wife?) by the report, presumably retracting the report. Wow. Rub it in, will ya, RTE1. We live in a police state. Investigative journalism? Not in that country, let me tell you.

Indeed, after reading the wikipedia article, I checked out www.irishtimes.com (the webportal for the Republic of Ireland's main newspaper) and I couldn't find anything on the front page relating to this "incident". I did a search however and I found this intelligent and analytical article written by Ann Marie Hourihane.

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2009/0330/1224243686432.html?via=mr

She ridicules RTE's apology and writes about some of the things Irish politicians should be apologizing about and some of the people they should be apologizing to. For example, the mother of a cystic fibrosis sufferer "who could not obtain an individual room for her panicked son until she got in touch with her local TD, and her local TD then got in touch with hospital management.". As pointed out in her article, before the present economic slump when the Government was flush with cash, a permanent unit for cystic fibrosis sufferers could have been funded and built by the Gvoernment at St. Vincent's Hospital in Dublin but the Government refused to do so even when some outside assistance was offered, refusing to explain why at the time or since.

Yeah, that's the heartless government I left behind in July 2006 when I first went to China. And, reading this article, I learn that this heartlessness from the very top echelons on Irish society remains in place and is alive and kicking.

The political class in the Republic of Ireland appear only to be interested in master strokes, "stroke politics", spin and political manueuvrings and not in actually improving the quality of life of the great majority of people there. And, the frightening thing is that, at least on paper, the Republic of Ireland has one of the highest per capita incomes in the world and still Cystic fibrosis sufferers and their parents and many other vulnerable people are left on the wayside by the so-called "Celtic Tiger". The real message of the Government of the Republic of Ireland for the poor and the vulnerable is "f**k you, a$$h*les!". While the rich get richer, the poor get poorer and get blamed for this, that and everything else

Reading up on US blogs over the past nearly 2 years or so, I realize that obviously this sort of lack of compassion from the top down is not unique to the Republic of Ireland. But, let's get back to politicians. As written, the political class seem only interested in stroke politics. Here's what I speculate happened regarding the "Brian Cowen naked" incident reported above. This guy who placed the paintings in the two art galleries was paid by Fianna Fail, the political party that Brian Cowen belongs to, to place these paintings that he purportedly painted in the art galleries complete with the captions and then the "story" was leaked to RTE who ran a piece on it during its 9 o'clock news slot a few evenings later. In fact, I'm pretty convinced that Fianna Fail clandestinely was instrumental in enabling this non-story to be reported in the first place. And, yes, talk about a non-story!!. He wasn't even naked. I mean, where's the story? Where's the crime? And, get this, a member of the Garda Siochana (an Irish Police Officer) talked to the producer of the Ray D'arcy show which also reported on the story and wanted access to some e-mails that the Ray D'arcy show had received regarding the story. ROTFLMAO. That's a popular acronym. It means "Rolling on the Floor Laughing My Ass Off". The Producer wisely refused. I imagine he would have asked the police officer incredulously if he was being serious.

Yeah, I bet Fianna Fail was instrumental in this baloney. I think Fianna Fail are up for re-election later this year. Brian Cowen remains pretty unpopular because of his handling of the economic crisis, amid rising unemployment (I think 9% and rising) and a high budget deficit (over 9% of GDP I think now) and other matters. I think the government are cutting back on future pension payments for example for public workers. Brian Cowen and his political party are asking the ordinary people of Ireland to tighten their belts whilst the bankers continue with business as usual. I read that there isn't really any stimulus package in the Republic of Ireland in contrast to the situation in many other developed countries. Instead, the government is under pressure from the rest of the E.U. and the European Commission to move in the direction of balancing their budget. The deficit I think is now about 9%. I've always told ya. Fianna Fail are the party of big business interests and the bankers' interests. So, what does Fianna Fail do? Why, invent some fictional story of course. A story which will cast Brian Cowen in a good light. What I mean is, people will say, hey, our poor Taoiseach is being put upon by the opposition parties (principally Labour and Fine Gael). It might just work!! This, folks, is the politics of spin. Just think about this for a second. It's true that Labour and Fine Gael are, well, desperate and thick. I've always found them disappointing. But, I sincerely doubt that they are THAT desperate and thick.

You see, after RTE, the state broadcaster, in the spirit of a true agent of an authoritarian state, issued its farcical apology, some members of the opposition, Fine Gael and Labour, expressed dissatisfaction with the apology, which I think was quite a natural reaction. They couldn't understand why RTE would apologize over such a trivial matter, a matter indeed that the Taoiseach personally was amused about rather than offended. And, look again at the Wikipedia headline above. What the f**k? How in heaven's name is report (which it turned out was untrue) of the Taoiseach being seen publicly naked in Dublin have anything to do with the present economic crisis? [sighs]. This has got Fianna Fail's fingerprints all over it. There's got to be a well-funded but clandestine Fianna Fail propaganda and media manipulation department.

Sad to say, but the Government of the Republic of Ireland owns the media. The Republic of Ireland is a small country. Politicians use the media as a chess board to play their games of one-upmanship. And, the people of Ireland, to hell with them. And the poor people of Ireland, they might as well live on a different planet. And media scrutiny of politicians by the so-called fourth estate, that is, the political press. In the Republic of Ireland, almost nonexistent. And if it existed in the mainstream media, then RTE would have had at least the spine not to f-ing apologize for something where they owed no f**king apology. But, the damage is done. The message sold to us is: The Government owns the media. It's not the Government that shouldn't get out of line and should be accountable to you. It is *you* the ordinary citizen of the country and its crass and impotent media with its lame pedestrian news that need to knuckle down and learn to obey your masters. The message is: yes, to some extent, we are a police state. And, yeah, it's sad and it's frustrating. But, I can't say I'm surprised. And, yeah, as written already, this kind of behaviour is a major factor why I got out of the Republic of Ireland in July 2006. And, since I've now learned that somethings haven't changed, I have no plans to go back any time soon, if I can help it.

Just for additional reference, the wikipedia entry changed during the course of the day as you can see with the following two screen dumps and, finally, the following day (yesterday), I took the screen dump below and, as you can see, the story had completely disappeared. What a fraud!! What a non-story!!. And what an embarrassment!! As Ann Marie Hourihane points out, a sad sad portrait of the country has been painted of Ireland as a laughing stock.

Does the political class think we're all really that stupid that we don't see what's going on?

My Second Visit to 798 Art Zone.

2009-03-31T05:20:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I went again today. I took a taxi from Dongzhimen. 22 kuai. I gave up on finding a bus. I arrived around 2:50 or so I think. It was an okay day. I think maximum temperature was 10 degrees and it was a bright cloudless day. Temperature was high enough to feel the heat of the sun. I hope today will well and truly be the last day of winter. I had been here before but I wanted to go again to check out more of the exhibitions. This very sexy portrait of a young smoking hot woman (with big exposed boobies) was on my mind. Indeed, she was hot and smoking (a cigarette). I wanted to catch a guilty glimpse of her again.

Comic Characters.

Well, there is definitely an industrial theme to this place. Lots of pipes everywhere.. Had the feel of a theme park. I saw two wedding couples. One of them was at the entrance to an area and it was kinda creepy. I stole a glance at them. Where they real or were they mannequins? I think they were real. Their heads moved. But, why were they standing there together looking ahead at whatever? Dressed in wedding clothes. I didn't see a photographer taking their photo. Were they there to greet visitors to that section of the Art Zone?

Cute Rabbit.

I spent a lot of time in one particular art gallery. This helpful young lady indroduced some of the sculptures to me. Contemporary art. It's a nice place to visit again. This time, I think I managed to visit all 6 sections at least quickly. I think though, I should visit again (and again). It's a nice place to relax and unwind.

Eye-Catching Tree.

As soon as I left, just before 6 o'clock, I got a taxi outside the gate. Getting taxis is usually so so easy in Beijing. One doesn't need to book like is the case in Dublin. It cost me 25 kuai to go back to Dongzhimen subway station because the taxi driver took the airport express to save time but it was a more circuitous route than coming here, hence the slight increase on the price on the meter. Let me say that the Beijing taxi drivers and the Beijing taxi service is first class!! Really!! So so much better than the taxi service in Dublin where taxi drivers are happy to nick a few more quid from you if they can get the opportunity. The meters makes thing simple and transparent. 10 rmb for the first 3 kilometers until 11 o'clock. 11 rmb between 11 o'clock in the evening until 7 in the morning. Since coming to Beijing, I have taken probably more taxis *each month* in Beijing on average than I had taken in Ireland and elsewhere *all my life* previously. That's saying something as I was 32 when I first came here. Taxies are cheap enough here and are ubiquitous in Beijing provided you don't stray too far from the city centre. Unfortunately, BaDaChu Park where I went a few days ago is a little too far out and official Beijing taxis aren't to be seen there.

[sighs]. Anyway, I had a good time. But, unfortunately, was too shy to take a photo of that gorgeous big boobied young Asian woman smoking a cigarette. There were 2 women saleswomen in the gallery and I didn't want to attract their attention. . Hmm, maybe, next time.

My Second Visit to BaDaChu Park.

2009-03-29T05:31:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday, I resolved to visit BaDaChu Park today. The weather forecast that it would be cold. Indeed, it was. Maximum day time temperature 6 degrees celsius, well below average for this time of year. I took the number 347 bus from Jishuitan, just like the first I went a few weeks ago with Alma. I figured I had already seen 4 of the temples. So, I reckoned I needed to see the other 4. First mishap. I got off the bus too bloody early and I had to walk a bit to the entrance. Paid 10 rmb to go inside. The public toilet outside the entrance, well, let's just say, it was as bad as Irish toilets. :-(

Me at Lingguang Temple

Inside, I headed first for, I think, it's called Lingguang temple. Very imposing, multi-tiered pagoda temple. Why is it that every time I visit a Buddhist temple or a Buddhist temple complex, there's always constructon/repair/refurbishment going on? Anyway, the temple was very impressive but I couldn't go in. Lots of workers were around, building new paths and doing some landscaping and so on. I saw the odd westerner. Funnily enough, I bumped into a Chinese friend who was leading a Chinese group. She's a tour guide and she had a red flag in her hand as if to lead the way. Well, that was interesting and unexpected. We greeted each other and were on our way.

I carried on up the hill, in pursuit of Temple number 2. I thought I saw it on top of a hill whilst visiting Lingguang temple, but now, I think it wasn't a temple pagoda after all and was not a part of Badachu Park at all. Anyway, I found another place which could have been a temple, if so it was very modest and no pagodas to speak of. I then made it to a nunnary and then after that I reached Xiang Jie Temple, I think it's called. Yeah, I recalled visiting this one already with Alma the first time I came to BaDaChu park a few weeks ago. I didn't mind visiting the place again. The music was relaxing. What were the words being repeated over and over again? [racks brain]. "Al ma tou fu, al ma tou fu" Something, like that. I guess refering to Almatabha Buddha, right? Anyway, the music was relaxing.

I had a good time in BaDaChu Park today despite the cold temperatures. Just 6 degrees maximum temperature today I discovered on weatherundergrond just now. Winter's last push back before the relentless Beijing summer gets cracking. By April 10th, the average highest temperature in Beijing will already be about 20 degrees celsius. By April 15th, closing times at BaDaChu Park will be extended from 6:30 in the evening to 7:00 in the evening. Summer will well and truly be underway. For now, though, signs of Spring are everywhere. The white and cherry blossoms are blossoming. The willow trees are sprouting their leaves and are greening from a distance, one of the most obvious signs in Beijing that Spring has arrived. The cool temperature today will be replaced by more appropriately warmer temperatures over the next few days. This cold patch was inevitable actually. In the middle of March, we had a warm streak of 5 days in a row of maximum temperatures reaching 20 degrees celsius. One day, it reached 28 degrees, a record for that day. Those temperatures were much higher than normal for that of year. But, by the middle of April, a maximum temperature of 20 degrees will actually be pretty cool for that time of the year. Average maximum temperatures in Beijing will reach 20 degrees celsius as soon as April 10th. This just shows you how quickly Beijing heats up. The Spring doesn't last long. The heat furnace of Summer will be here sooner than you may dare to expect. So, in the meantime, I'm enjoying the intermediate temperatures and visiting many places outside. I wonder what I'll be doing during the summer furnace?

Signs of Spring.

Anyway, I had a good time in BaDaChu Park. After visiting Xiang Jie Temple, I doubled back to try to discover the final 8th temple which was like the crook of gold at the end of the rainbow, just out of reach. I assumed it was that small pagoda I saw earlier from Ling Guang temple. But, it quickly occurred to me, it couldn't be that one. There was no official path anyway up to it!!. So, I decided to leave and at the exit I studied a map and realised that the elusive 8th temple was kinda south of Lingguang temple and was called Chang an temple. On the map, it was located in a green area which I assumed to mean out of bounds? Anyhow, I decided not to investigate the matter. Perhaps, another time, I'll check that one out. So, anyway, I guess BaDaChu park is nice. Just like Xiang Shan. But, I reckon if push comes to shove, I'd go for Xiang Shan over BaDaChu. There's more climbing in Xiang Shan and I like my exercise.

So, I left. Because I visited the park before with Alma, I knew where to go to get a 347 bus back into the city. You won't find any f**king taxis here. That's a tip for you all. I was lucky. I arrived at the bus stop and there was a bus waiting for me. It was about 4:15 I think. I arrived at the park at around 2:30 so I think I only stayed a little under 2 hours. Sorry about that. But, it wasn't really a warm day. I just frantically snapped photos during my brief visit. You can see the photos in the photo album on the top right hand side of this blog. You click on the photos to enlarge. Anyway, the bus embarked on its journey almost from the moment I got on it. I went back to Xizhimen, got off, went into a "MaiDangLao", sat down, had some food, studied a Chinese dictionary, then took the subway back to Dongzhimen and then took my bike and rode home. Now, I'm back in my apartment, rented apartment, for an hour now and I'm updating my blog with what I did today. I turned the heater on in my room because it's damn cold today and the central heating went off way back on March 15th. [sighs]. I'll add some photos to this blog post and then publish it. Thanks for reading. Please, leave a comment.

My Long Overdue Visit to the Mao Mausoleum.

2009-03-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

Yup, I wanted to visit this place for 2 years but only today did I manage to do it.

Got up at about 10 o'clock and took the subway from Dongzhimen to Tiananmen Square. Got off at Exit A. Walked on over quickly. Entered the square.

Mao Mausoleum

Monument to People's Heroes.

There was a security check. I had taken my backpack. I assumed that maybe there was a luggage check in place in the building (the Mao Mausoleum) but no. Anyway, I noticed the long long queue. It was an okay day. It was a bit chilly first when I left my apartment and cycled to Dongzhimen subway station. But, it warmed up a bit. By the time, I got to Tiananmen Square, I guess it was about 10 degrees celsius, strong enough to feel the pleasant heat of the sun on my face. It was a bright blue day. As I walked towards the end of the long long queue, this older guy came up to me and beckoned me to follow him. Given that I assumed he was an official, I did as he beckoned. I followed him across the street to a building where I could deposit my backpack (which without a camera in it was only 5 rmb), then he beckoned me to follow him back to the Square. Once again, I had to go through the security check to enter the Square. He then beckoned me to go to near the front of the queue and said something like "50 here". He wanted me to give him 50 RMB so that he would let me through the security corden at a place near the front of the long queue. I just looked at him in bemusement. Hey, I don't want to do that!!. I want to be one of the proletariat, thanks very much. I want to wait at the back of the queue just like all the other guys. I hardly spoke any Chinese and he only knew a few set phrases in English. I looked bemused and he lowered his offer. 40rmb, 30 rmb, 20rmb. I shook my head. Hey, I wasn't here to bargain with the guy. I just wanted to queue. So, I pointed towards the end of the queue and indicated to him I wanted to move in that general direction. Finally, he relented and let me go on my way. Frustratingly, I couldn't see one Westerner in the queue behind where he wanted to allow me in to prove that he was just trying to bamboozle me out of 50 kuai. But, I had to be assertive here. I had already been allowed through the security check so surely it would be okay to explore the square now? Anyway, I walked up the square and finally found the queue.

And I queued and it was a long long queue. Boy, it was long. And, winding. And, slow.

Lots of People.

Queuing Dutifully.

Imposing Building

Nice Building. The Queue went from the back of the Mao Mausoleum to the front. I guess I could have gone earlier, like around 8 o'clock to avoid the long queue. The Mao Mausoleum is open, by the way, from 8 o'clock to 12 o'clock Tuesday through Sunday.

I started to queue around 10:45 I think. By 11:15, I had already turned a few bends and then, for 20 frustrating minutes, the queue stopped altogether. Boring. And, I was convinced at this stage I wouldn't get into the mausoleum at all. The announcer on the intercom said that everyone needed valid ID and I didn't have my passport on me. I wondered if they would accept my Bank of China bank card instead? As I pondered that, I waited inline. At 11:35, the queue shuttered into motion again and my spirits were raised. Soon, we were walking briskly, turning the final corner and finally in the front gate and another security check. I had stuffed my bum bag into one of my coat pockets and put my wallet into my upper right breast pocket. Anyway, fortunately, they didn't ask me for ID. And, I got through. I recommend though that you bring your ID to be on the safe side. Through that, we walked on. If you want, you can buy a daffodil to present to the Great Leader in the front lobby. I was walking too quickly to pick up one. I guess I was still worried that I would be turned away for having no ID. After going through the first room, we moved into the next room and I saw the Great Leader, Mao. Well, his skin looked yellow. His skin creased. I guess he's perfectly preserved as he would have been when he died in 1976, I think. Standing perfectly still were 2 security guards (or where they mannequins). If they weren't, then boy they did know how to stand still, let me tell you. It was great to see the Great Man. And, quickly, the queue was ushered out the back of the building back out into the brilliant sunshine outside.

It was good to have done it. I guess the Chinese treasure their leader, Mao, in much the same way Muslims treasure the Kaaba stone in Mecca. I hope I behaved decorously and wasn't insulting to the hosts. Most of the people I guess were just your typical Chinese people. And Mao Zedong remains the focal point after so many years of Chinese self-identify and culture.

Of course, you will find Chinese people who will be critical of him, like my flatmate and those who still and always idolize him. I guess that's a healthy debate for any society to have.

My Visit to Mutianyu.

2009-03-27T04:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning and afternoon, I paid a long overdue visit with my friend to the Mutianyu section of the Great Wall of China. Last year, I had already visited the Simatai section of the Great Wall and back in August 2006, I paid a visit to the Great Wall at Badaling. So long ago now.

Anyway, my Chinese friend and I took the bus from Dongzhimen long distance bus station to the nearby town of Huairou and then took another bus to the great Wall at Mutianyu. Tip: Stay on the bus (Number 916) from Dongzhimen to Huairou. Don't get off until the terminal station. During the trip, you'll have this guy come on the bus about half way through to shout at you to get into his taxi outside (charging you an exorbitant rate). Ignore these guys. Go to the terminal station. With my Chinese friend, we then walked a very short distance to another bus stop and we got another bus the rest of the way to Mutianyu.

It was a lovely day to go. Temperatures were about 12 degrees celsius. Not too hot, not too cold. We wrapped up well. Because we did a bit of climbing however, it was a good thing, it wasn't too cold. It was a nice and bright day and the temperature was high enough to feel the pleasant heat of the sun beat against our faces. And, fortunately, no wind. Anyway, I uploaded the photos I took with my (supposed 3 million pixel) camera phone. Sorry, resolution not as good as I would have hoped but anyhow. A record of my trip is there.

When we arrived at Mutianyu, we both had to run the gauntlet of hawkers, traders and sellers of what not. We had the option of taking a cable car to the top of the hill where the Wall was or walk up. My friend, a penny pincher, insisted we walk up. We did. She didn't seem flustered by this. She didn't seem to be breathing heavily and labouredly like I was. But, anyway, we got to the top. And, then, I decided to head off in one direction for half an hour and then double back to meet my friend again. After meeting her again (at about 12:30 in the afternoon), I decided to investigate the wall in the other direction. She was fine with this but told me that she'd wait down at the "village" were we entered Mutianyu and asked me to get back at around 2:30 to get the bus back into Huairou. I told her I'd do my best. So, anyway, I did some more exploring. Took some more photos and then decided first to take the cable car down but, then, changed my mind and took the more adventurous option, the toboggan ride. It was supposedly fun but, at first, I couldn't figure out to put my feet, to stretch my feet in front of the toboggan. I guess I was a little scared. So, subsequently, my ride down was so f**king slow, even as I strained to push down the lever to make the toboggan go faster. To make matters worse, as I ground to a halt on my way down, my friend rang me and was impoatently waiting for me because she wanted to get the bus back into Huairou as quickly as possible. She was due to work in a bar that evening as a waitress. So, there I was, taking her phone call, in a f**king toboggan, not moving, telling her that I'd be down as quickly as possible. Anyway, some Chinese guy came down in another toboggan and exchanged with me. He was a worker there. I was convinced at this stage my toboggan was defective. Anyway, he demonstrated to me how to ride it (with one's feet outstretched in front of one). I did as he said, and lo and behold, it worked and I rode down the toboggan chute like lightning. Great fun.

Finally, at the bottom, I rushed to meet my friend who I feared would be leaving without me. I found her and we both agreed to take a taxi (despite my huge reservations about these unofficial "black" taxis) into Huairou. Then, we got the 916 bus back into town. I think this was the first time I took the famed Jingcheng express, one of Beijing many motorway spokes. The bus took us swiftly back into Dongzhimen and we took our bikes the rest of the way home. It was a good trip but I was so so tired as was my friend.

Funnily enough, that morning, I was lying in bed (around 7 o'clock) debating with myself if I would go or not because I knew my friend (who is my flatmate) wans't so keen on the idea. I had only 3 hours sleep that night. But, in the end, I got up and pulled my friend out of bed too. She was warned days before that I wanted to go but she was reluctant to go and it took some "enocuragement".

Anyway, we took our photos and she'll put her photos on her blog so I think it was worthwhile. My Chinese friend had never been to the Great Wall so I reckon it is something she can tell her daughter for example this weekend. Her daughter will be impressed.

Nothing really of note to add. It was a good day. I spotted some berries on some of the bare trees. As well as old leaves from last Autumn on others. Why hadn't they blown off? I reckon half the people on the Wall were westerners. Along the wall, you'd have sellers selling drinks and chocolate and whatnot. At first I was confused. For example, one old guy was crying "Beer" but I couldn't see any beer amongst the soft drinks and chocolate and biscuits he was selling. Later though, I disocovered that, indeed, these sellers do have beer which, apparently, they came hidden, or maybe they're just keeping them in ice boxes to keep them chilly and delicious. Anyway, I had 2 bans of Yanjing beer to reward myself for my exertions on the Wall. Had a brief chat with some Yanks from San Francisco as well as these Chinese sellers of beer and what not. This old lady, surprisingly spoke quite passable English, at least, apparently.

Anyway, here's some photos which I took from my, what is it called?, space drive?

Above: Me and Nice View Behind of Forest.

Above: Very Steep Hill down (Note Handrails)

Me and Nice View Behind.

Winding Wall.

Skin Cream.

2009-03-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I bought some Oxy Oil Control Gel (as below but Chinese one not Japanese - I grabbed this photo from the Internet)

I bought it in one of the many Watson's in Beijing.( like the shop below)

Well, I'm cautiously optimistic that this stuff is doing my skin good. My skin overproduces oil which causes my nasty sebaceous spots particularly on the back of my neck and the front of my torso). This stuff is good though. It gets to work fast. It's like an acid. It really burns into those spots. It quickly soaks into the skin, burning away the moist, maddening red spots and leaving, in short order, a scab where the moist live spot was. Great stuff. Western medicine, I think. Often I like western medicine. It gets to work fast, gets the job done fast. Chinese medicine is good in theory. For example, the idea that Chinese medicine can remedy spots on the skin by killing bacteria in the intestines.. Ingenious!! I'm sure it works but it takes more time and patience. I'm just not a very patient guy sometimes. Anyway, I'm not saying that this stuff has resolutely solved this problem forever but I think I've made a good selection. It really burns into the skin and attacks the problem. I like this. I'm not looking for some slow-coach medicine, that'll take an eternity.

So, I give this cream a cautious but encouraging 6/10..

INFURIATING girl (Part 4)

2009-03-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

And, she even had the f**king nerve to say she was sorry if she upset me. My f**king arse is she sorry!!. She's not sorry, she never was sorry. She's just a child, wanting to cause trouble. A foreigner hater.

INFURIATING girl (Part 3)

2009-03-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

I guess I should have just deleted her comments as soon as they appeared on my blog. It's clear to me now she just came here to make trouble. She knew (she acknowledged this in her last e-mail to me) that I had barred her already on MSN Messenger (a long long time ago... long before this latest episode). So, she just came into my blog space to make trouble, to make some crass remarks, stupid, contrary remarks, designed to provoke or annoy me. I should have just, in hindsight, deleted her shit.(&)

Why do I have to do that? Challenge all stupidity? I remember another girl before who sent me an e-mail a while back which said, "Hey, boy, (I kid you not)...blaa... blaa....blaa....If you are serious about a relationship..... blaa....blaa....blaa...". I mean she supposedly saw my ad on thebeijinger (and therefore knew my name is, in fact, "Paul", not "boy") and could have read my introduction there which is quite lengthy and also a bit of my blog if she wanted, but no she didn't. Anyway, my point is, why the f**k did I reply to her in the first place?(&&) I should have just ignored it.

The same with this "INFURATING girl" I had chatted with her online over MSN 1 or 2 years ago before I barred her. She came into my MSN space these past 2 days to make trouble. It was no f**king peace offering, Paul, don't kid yourself.(&&&) Paul, stop fancying yourself as some sort of Don Juan who can solve all women's problems. Don't put yourself down that much. This girl who came into your blog, leaving comments, these past 2 days is irredeemably stupid so just ignore her, delete her comments and so on. Why argue with idiots like that? She's a foreigner hater. I have no doubt that she causes her parents great suffering. She came into my blog, to write contrary comments because she hates foreigners. [sighs]. Anyway, I want to get the b***h out of my system now.

B***h!!!

(&) Maybe, I'm bored, that's it. I just want to tackle difficult people, like this stupid b***h. But, Paul, listen, you can't reason with irredeemibly stupid people or with this irredeemibly stupid person. She's a child, unwilling or unable at this time to grow up.
(&&) Was I f**king bored? Was that it??? Hmm, maybe. J****s, Paul, why wind yourself up about this crap? You don't want to get an early and premature heart attack at your age? These worthless b***hes aren't worth it.
(&&&) She's a child. Maybe 21 years old. And, an idiot.

INFURIATING girl (Part 2)

2009-03-25T06:38:00.001-07:00

To recap, here's what I find really INFURIATING about this girl.

Today, she goes into my blog and deletes her previous comments on my blog. BUT, I can't go into her blog and delete my previous comments on her blog because today she barred me from her blog. Nice touch, girl!! Do unto others what you'd rather not have done unto you. So, I don't know what she's done with my comments. Has she deleted them? Has she replied to them? What? I don't know. [sighs]...

Message to an absolutely INFURIATING girl/woman.

2009-03-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to say she was absolutely INFURIATING. It doesn't often happen that someone comes along and infuriates me as much as this one did.

She posted comments on my blog which I have deleted and I intend to delete any more comments she posts on my blog. I discovered today that I can't access her blog so I can't reply to any reply she may have made to previous comments I made.(&) Obviously, she's not a believer in a man or woman's right to reply. What a coward!!!. Possibly, she's written her reply to my comment on her blog and I can't even read it (and reply to it) because she's since barred me from reading her blog and, therefore, reading the comments and replying to them. Well, fine, be that way. But, don't f**king expect me to allow your f**king comments to stand on my blog, b***h!. They're all deleted now.

Another infuriating thing this girl did today (What a f**king GIRL!!), she deleted her own comments on MY blog. Actually, until today, I didn't even know that was possible to do. Well, she did it. But, today, she decided to leave one final comment. Before her final comment were my previous comments from our earlier exchange, except all her own comments were removed, making my comments (which were replies to her earlier comments) look out of context. So, I had no choice but to remove all my previous comments. I replied to her last comment but, after a few hours reflection, I decided to delete all her comments, including my replies. I want her out of my system.

Wow, what a coward! In her comments, she claimed I didn't write what, in fact, I did write in my original blog post. She falsely claimed that I didn't write that I jogged every day. B***h, I did!!. She falsely claimed (that is, she lied) that she read my blog post. She didn't. She wrote something comical like "Maybe I didn't read it, but I did read through it". B***h, stop lying and grow up. I don't have to put up with this crap. Grow up and stop lying to yourself and other people.

Yeah, you don't like accountability. So, you delete all your comments on my blog. Nice move!!!. Next, you'd be denying you wrote what you wrote. Grow up and stop being STUPID!. You don't like to be accountable to anyone. And, of course, you don't like to admit that you're wrong and that others are right. Because that would mean you have to grow up. Unlikely at this time.

Goodbye.

Oh, what an INFURIATING GIRL!!!

(&) Yup, she doesn't like freedom of expression, except, of course, if it's her speaking or writing.

More on Venus.

2009-03-25T05:42:00.000-07:00

A Commenter previously claimed that the photo I showed in this post

http://worldpaulcarr.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!2AA66E340D37A86C!2217.entry

was in fact, the Moon.

It's not the Moon. It's Venus.

You can read about Venus here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus

Here's a photo closer up.

Venus, like the moon, has phases. Here's an interesting photo below to illustrate the point.

As I had also pointed out to the commenter, if it were the moon, there would be craters. Venus, by contrast to the moon, has a thick atmosphere (see first photo above). However, Venus is much further from the Earth than the Moon is from the Earth so Venus appears like a bright star in the sky. It's the brightest point of light in the sky after the sun and the moon. Here's a photo of brilliant Venus in the sky.

If it's surface were visible from Earth of space, I expect you would see a lot of caldera (without strangely the lava flows that go with it). Paradoxically, Venus is brightest in the sky when only a thin crescent is visible. Then, Venus is nearer, much nearer to us, on the same side of the sun. I hope the following diagram can help you to understand what I'm talking about here.

It's surface pressure is 92 times that of the Earth. It's damn hot. Something like 450 degrees celsius. Here's a photo that was taken by one of the Soviet spacecraft, Venera, of the boiling hot surface. Unfortunately, no proper horizon shot was taken. I would have loved to have seen that. In the top right, you can see, tantalizingly, a glimpse of the Venusian horizon. Well, anyway, as you can see, it's red, red, red. Red f**king hot.

Things I don't like about China.

2009-03-23T12:18:00.001-07:00

1. Pollution. Yeah, I guess in Beijing, the air... well..... . I come from Ireland where the air is fresh. The prevailing winds blow from the Atlantic. It's nice and fresh. Here in Beijing, well, dusty. I, daily, go for a jog around my neighbourhood in Dongzhimen and, well, lots of construction sites and what not. Lots of dust. But, hey. A worry. A little. But, I'm not going to let that be a excuse not to get my daily exercise!!!

2.They speak a different language and I need to learn Chinese. But, it ain't easy learning Chinese. I'm stupid at learning another language. I'm so so slow and so so lazy. Sorry.

3. . Ah, what else? ... Hm.... Can't think of anything else, right now. But, I'm sure other things will come up in due course.

Things I like about China.

2009-03-23T12:14:00.001-07:00

1. They (the Chinese) speak a different language. They look different.. The women are gorgeous. The men are........

I like the exotic (and the erotic ).

2. China is as far from Ireland as I could go. And, that's great. Because one of the biggest reasons I came to China in July 22nd 2006 was to escape from Ireland!!

3. China is a developing country. And, that's great. I love cycling my bike here with all the other Beijing natives. Sure, Beijing is amongst the least third world cities or places in all of China but, for me, it still feels like I'm one of the masses of this great country, cycling my bike, like I'm one of Mao's Proletariat. I just need to get the blue coat...

4. China's big. China's got a great future ahead of it. You have "America" still blowing hard about being the world's number 1. Now, "America"'s economy is going down the swilly. China, by contrast, seems to be weathering the economic crisis pretty okay. China's leaders are forecasting a respectable 8% growth this year. "America" will contract by 6%, I have heard it said. And, yet, the blowhards in "America", the Imperialists there would rather imagine that China doesn't exist. The reality of China interferes in their fantasy and priaprism that "America" alone are the font of all wealth and wisdom in the world, whose actions or inactions will determine the fact of the planet. These very same dicks are happy to take Chinese money invested in US treasury bonds. Some even dare to preach about China's "abysmal" human rights record, ignoring the fact that the USA was a surveillance state during much of George W. Bush's 8 year presidency (and arguably still is) and ignoring the fact that Barack Obama thinks that alleged al Qaeda terrorists, detained in Guantanamo, don't deserve their day in court to have their complaints heard of human rights abuses aganst them by Yanks in CIA black sites or Guantanamo bay or in other countries where they had been renditioned to be tortured...

5.I like China.. Should I criticise China? If I have reason to, I will..... But, for now, I won't....

How I've changed (for better or worse) since coming to China.

2009-03-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

I intend to update this list as time goes on.

1. I hardly ever go to the cinema these days. Before coming to China on July 22nd 2006, I regularly went to the cinema in my home country of Ireland. Sometimes, 3 or 4 times a day. I loved the movie going experience. Here, in China, I hardly ever go to the cinema unless it's like on a date with a girl or something like that.

2. I hardly ever watch TV, not even CCTV. Again, in Ireland, I watched a little TV though not much. I have a TV in my apartment which I pay for (just to please my landlord) but I hardly ever turn it on. My flatmate sometimes turns it on. Not me. I get my moving pictures from youtube. I watch interesting documentaries at frontline for example. I occasionally buy black market DVDs on the street and occasionally buy legitimate ones too. I download a lot of movies from the internet using bittorrents and the like. Hands up... Who doesn't?
.http://btjunkie.org/ - A cool one for downloading all sorts of English language movies. You won't be disappointed. I use

to download the movies. Cool program.

3. This one kinda unexpected. About a year and a half into my stay in China, I started to read liberal USA blogs such as www.crooksandliars.com, http://www.dailykos.com, http://www.thehuffingtonpost.com (banned in China presently), http://www.michaelmoore.com (not strictly speaking a blog), Glenn Greenwald at salon.com and so on. I wanted to understand USA society a little more but, to be honest with you, I'm as perplexed as I've ever been. Soon, I'll give you my verdict on Barack Obama. It won't be pretty. But, not tonight.

4. Well, ah, I have to be delicate with this one. We, Irishmen, are prudish about sex. Oh, how to say this. Okay, Masturbation, orgasm. Yeah, I had those for the first time since coming to China within in a few months of arriving. Great!! And I was 33 at the time. Never say never!!! (&)

Anything else? Can't think of anything else right now. But, I'll be sure to update this list. My behaviour, for better or worse, has changed since coming to China. I think, on the whole, better. I feel healthy. I don't think I have a blood virus like HIV, although I did sleep with 4 women since coming to China, my first 4 women, one Japanese, 3 Chinese.. Potentially, I could have gotten HIV for any one of them. Hmm, but I don't think so. I mean, I was out for a jog now and I feel great now. Why should I linger in self-doubt? Why should I torture myself?

Anything else? Hmm. Lemme think.... Hmm... I guess I'm just a little bit more independent. A little bit more assertive. I think to think I am angry but not too angry. Actually, I wanna tell you about an incident.... no... I won't in this post... another time, soon.... I promise. This is enough for now.

Thanks for reading.

(&) Gotta be clear on this, damn it. I masturbated for the first time leading to orgasm since coming to China... HaHa.

Xu Jing Lei.

2009-03-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

I saw this picture of Xu Jing Lei in China Daily today and it really struck my eye. What a beauty!!.

I scanned this photo from Chinadaily today.

I saw this picture today. She was with Hong Kong action star, Jackie Chan and Fan BingBing as they attended the premiere of their movie Shinjuku Incident at the opening of the 33rd Hong Kong International Film Festival yesterday. She's hot. About 168cm. My kind of height. I saw this picture today and I thought it was Zhang Xi Yi. Don't many Chinese women look the same? Anyway, I did some research on this Xu Jing Lei. Apparently, she got a dead popular blog which gets more hits than any other page on the web. It's at http://blog.sina.com.cn/xujinglei . She's both a director and an actress. She directed a film called "My Father and I". I think I will download it. I just don't know where to find a place to download it. I'll have to ask around. Anyway, wow, she's hot. More photos below.

Jackie Chan - One lucky Short Guy.

My Spots.

2009-03-22T13:09:00.000-07:00

I was planning on writing about this last night. But, I didn't. Got lazy. 2 days ago, I was looking in the mirror and, to my despair, my facial and neck spots and my upper torso spots seemed to be worse than ever. It's one of those things were my hope and the reality don't converge. I've been trying all sorts of creams and what not for months and months and years and years and nothing is f**king working. [sighs]. 2 days ago, I went to a Watson's here in Beijing to buy a whole new batch of creams. My spots have gotten real bad at the back of my neck at this time. I wonder if a use a good lubricating oil, maybe that will help reduce the friction with the collar of my shirt and reduce the spots. Anyway, I'm trying now. And another thing. That f**king rogaine I bought. It's useless. I'm onto my third bottle and I'm using it only on a small area of my left side temple where there has been some receding of my hair but it's not working. No real hair has grown back, despite the fact that there was some baby hair or fine hair there already. F**king quack medicine. How those f**kers can get away with selling that shit, I don't know.

These spots. I apply some lotion or cream on a spot, it can work, but as soon as one spot goes down, another f**king spot appears elsewhere nastier and angrier than before. Anyway, two days ago, I was looking at my angry spots, especially the savagely pock-marked moon-like surface at the back of my neck, immediately after I had gone for a jog and had a shower, the spots were terrible, terrible. About 3 hours later, I looked again and strangely, it didn't look so bad. Maybe, something to do with the skin relaxing a bit after the strain of jogging and opening up the pores and all of that. I dunno. Maybe, I'll go to that Chinese medicine doctor I saw a few months back. He recommended some really disgusting tasting medicine to drink for 2 weeks. He said that my spots were a consequence of an over production of sebum I think and that the medicine, a syrup, would kill off the bacteria in my gut which was causing the f**king thing. Interesting perspective. A little pricey though. He was charging 400 rmb for 2 weeks worth of syrup. Apparently, I was to take 2 bags a day, for 2 weeks. Might just do it. I'm at wit's end.

[sighs]. I suppose I can just stop drinking the fizzy drinks. I've got a big bottle of coca cola on my desk in front of me. I'm sure that's not helping. I had a blood test done this time last year in the Japanese-Chinese friendship hospital and I was told that the lipid content in my blood was higher than it should be. That might have something to do with it. But, I'm awfully lazy. Can't I continue with my high sugar consumption? Pleassse. Aren't there some creams or something to get rid of this nasty side effect.

I guess, on a positive note, the front of my face, and now lately the front part of my neck has been spared. That should make me a little more appealing to the opposite sex. Maybe, I'm obsessing about this. Relax, Paul. Don't get into a tizzy about spots, for f**k's sake. It's not the end of the world. You're still you.[sighs].

I've read that spots can really kill a person's self-confidence. I guess they can, if you choose to let them... Just believe in yourself.

My almost daily jogging I think helps get rid of the spots. How can that possibly make things f**king worse? Jogging opens up the pores and lets the excess oil (and apparently my skin is damn oily) escape preventing any spots from appearing. I think, over the past few months I have been frequently jogging, this has led to a definite improvement in the front of my face. My flat-mate has observed a definite improvement there. I'll keep it up.

Let's Go to Venus.

2009-03-20T13:09:00.001-07:00

Statesman, leaders and politicians in the West have become intellectually lazy. They fail to dream the big dreams. They fail to conceive of possibility in the midst of apparent impossibility. They instead retreat into rituals of religion and religiosity and embrace a resignation to violence and despair. They contemplate the "end of days" rather than conceive a united world which celebrates peace and love for the sake of peace and love. They don't believe that we, human beings, can make a great existential leap forward, that we can live permanently in peace and love, that we can move beyond self-perpetuating war and hatred to an elevated plain of peace and understanding amongst all the cultures and people of the world. A plain of peace and understanding where our imagination is not trampled by human fictions such as race or nationality nor where there are a multitude of languages which keep us unnecessarily apart and mire us in misunderstanding. I believe that we can transcend the worst of our erratic impulses and embrace that what is surely magnificent and heroic about us. I believe that we must. We, as a species, Homo Sapiens, have been around on this planet for 200,000 years. But, it has only been in the past 50,000 years that we have acquired a modern imagination. Probably this was a result of minute alternations in some of the nerve-endings in our brain - the final re-writing of evolution. Our species, post 50,000 years ago, became radically different. We conceived a more complex language than went far beyond the bare-bones functionality of its previous incarnation. We began to imagine a world around us in a way we had never done before and, thus, our individual and social behaviour changed in a significant way also.

It is this same human resource, our imagination, which will make or break our species in the 21st century.

It was this resource, our imagination, which enabled us to leave our ancestral homeland of East Africa and migrate across the planet to make new homes for ourselves. It was this resource that enabled us to an unprecedented degree to model the world around us as we saw fit. An integral part of this resource has been a curiosity to explore and discover that which lay just beyond our reach. No matter how mighty the task appeared, eventually, we undertook to complete the task and eventually we did complete the task we assigned to ourselves. We climbed the highest mountain, we plumbed to the greatest ocean depths, we travelled to the northern-most and southern-most points of the Earth, eventually we left our planet altogether to look down on our globe from space and we even set foot on the moon. We hunger to travel, to penetrate the universe, to touch it and to understand it better. This curiosity which dovetails with our imagination is what makes us human. There's no denying it. There should be no hiding behind the rituals of religion and religiosity in order to find quick and all-too-easy answers. The vastness and complexity of our universe doesn't lend itself to such easy answers. We ought to teach out to the universe, to explore it in order to empirically arrive at answers.

We can go to Mars. We can set foot on Venus. I set this task for humanity. I believe that it is possible for our species to send a man or woman to Planet Mars by 2020, to set him/her down on its surface, where he/she shall walk and then bring her/him back safely to Earth. And, by 2025, I believe that it is possible that we can send a man or woman to Planet Venus, set him/her down on its surface, where he/she shall walk and then bring him/her safey back to Earth. Venus and Mars are our sibling planets. We hold an innate connection to these planets. We are of planet Earth. And, we will visit Mars and Venus as emissaries of our planet. These planets appear in the sky constantly moving against the fixed celestial backdrop. Venus, bright, is often the only bright spot in the sky, aside from the moon, immediately before sunrise or immediately after sunset. These two planets by their very appearance on the celestial map of the sky forever beckon us to come to them. And we have a duty to visit them and to set foot on their surfaces, no matter how inhospitable those surfaces will be.

Venus has long long been lost to a runaway Greenhouse effect. Its atmospheric pressure is a bone-crushing 92 times that of the Earth's. Its surface temperature around 470 degrees celsius. Its gravity near that of the Earth's. It won't be easy to send a man or woman there to walk on its surface and then to bring him/her back to Earth. Many tasks are not meant to be easy. This task will be difficult but, by no means, impossible. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Venus

I feel we have a moral duty to go to Venus, to send man or woman to set his/her foot on its surface and to live to tell the tale back on Earth. His/her name will, of course, become immortalized. And, we, the people of Earth, will have our eyeballs riveted to the teevee screen as we watch the drama of the Earth launch, the Venus arrival, the Venus landing, the Venus walk, the Venus launch back to space, the retrieval from around Venus' orbit and the final return to Earth. We will be entralled and emotionally engaged as if we too were taking that walk on its surface. This will be a grand soap opera which the whole world will participate in.

A trip to Mars and Venus ought to be a global venture. No one flag of any one nation ought to be planted on the surface of Mars or Venus, but, rather let that flag be that of the United Nations. For these vast undertakings will require our species to pool our resources and intelligence in a way never undertaken before. What a great boost to our self-confidence and self-esteem the completion of the task of putting a man or woman on the surface of Mars and Venus and bringing him/her back to Earth will be!!. And, that takes us back to what makes us human. We have sought, since 50,000 years ago, when our physical brain finally allowed us to self-actualize and relate to the environment around us as modern humans do, to conquer and understand the world around us. So, let us conquer and let us understand. And let us not feel guilty about that. But, let us do so in the name of peace and harmony. And, if we are to die trying, then, at least, we die as humans. Surely, an omniscient and omnipotent God, if one exists, would nod his/her head in approval.

My Condolances to the family of late and great Natasha Richardson (1963-2009).

2009-03-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

I'm really sorry to hear this sad sad news. It's so shocking. She's wasn't old, only 45 years old. She was just practicing some skiing on a beginner slope. She fell, she got up. She seemed to be okay. Sheent indoors nearby and an hour later started to get headaches. Before long she went unconscious never to wake up, her eye pupils unresponsive to light. I guess we are all vulnerable in this life. Life is so so fragile. We just wear this shell of flesh which can so so easily be permanently damaged.

My condolances to her husband, Liam Neeson, a fellow Irishman and a fine actor, and also to their two kids. My condolances to Vanessa Redgrave, her distinguished and outspoken mother and Joely Richardson, her beautiful sister. So so shocking. I just hope Liam can pull through this and get on with his life and his successful career. I understand he'll be making a real interesting film soon where he plays Abraham Lincoln, directed by Steven Spielberg. I really liked Liam Neeson in Schlinder's List which was also directed by Steven Spielberg and Kinsey, about the famed US sex doctor who conducted a famous sex survey in the USA in the 1950s. An interesting role and he played Alfred Kinsey so so convincingly. Same with Oscar Schlinder. Natasha Richardson too was an outstanding theatrical and film actress. A beautiful woman with a lovely smile.

Let's Go to Mars.

2009-03-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

I'm glad that a Chinese taikonaut has already taken his first walk in space. I personally think China is well capable of putting a man or woman on the surface of the moon long before 2020! The USA are so so slow in terms of space exploration I think these days. I think their military are spending more on satellite launching rockets than NASA does. Space exploration is such a low priority for US governments right now. They're sleeping on their haunches. That's why I'm hoping China will step up to the plate and push the boundaries of what is possible in human space flight. Let's go to Mars!! The Moon? We've been there already.

Well, it's always tempting for me to diss the USA. I don't mean to. . They did have some astonishing successful non-manned missions such as the the landing of Spirit and Opportunity on the surface of Mars in 2004.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Exploration_Rover

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opportunity_rover

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spirit_rover

A great success. Both are still roaming the surface of the planet. I think Opportunity has gone a distance of 10 kilometres on the Martian surface already I think Spirit had a problem with one of its wheels, which has impaired its mobility somewhat. But, the pictures they have taken are spectacular. The martian world is kinda like Earth's. Okay, the orb of the sun is a little smaller. The sky is red with no sign of blue. At the top of the day, it's not as light as daylight on earth at the top of the day here but Martian day is probably still lighter than Earth's dawn or dust. I saw those spectacular motion captures of dust devils winding their way collectively along the Martian surface. We gotta go there!! NASA I think want to send an even bigger rover but I think it won't be for another few years, like 2012 or 2013? . Too bloody slow. I hope China goes instead. I'll be waiting all day for the USA to do anything. Anyway, the youtube video below shows one of the two successful Mars rover missions which reenacts (with a little guesswork) what actually happened. I love the music woven into this. Cool. I especially love the music as the spacecraft approaches the new world of Mars and enters the atmosphere and then the spectacular bouncing on the lower-gravity surface of Mars. And, later, it's fun to watch the human like robot scanning his/her new environment before embarking on his/her travels. Great. I hope you like it.

Nice Song.

2009-03-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

A Chinese student of English I was teaching gave me a Video CD about 4 years ago which included this video below. I love the song. I love the chick in it. . Maybe, feeding into my perception/misperception of Chinese women being such blessed creatures, such virtuous creatures and ones.

Anyway, nice song.

Global Warming

2009-03-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

I'm convinced temperatures are rising globally. However, there exists particularly in the USA spokespeople who deny that the climate is changing so rapidly as a result of human activity. My information is that, according to the scientists, temperatures have increased by 2 degrees celsius over the past century. I believe this increase has been a result of human activity.

I show below some screendumps I took from weatherunderground.com showing the average maximum and minimum temperatures and actual temperatures in Beijing for December 1st, 2008 through to March 20 2009. The blue lines represent the maximum and minimum average temperature for that time of year. The red line represents the actual temperature at the time, measured by every hour of the day I think. As I think you can see, there are more bigger prominences above the higher blue line than there are below the lower blue line. Here are the screendumps:

December 2008

January 2009

February 2009

March 2009

Please take especial note of the temperature spikes between March 15th and March 19th, also between February 9th and February 11th. What about the other way around? Troughs? A few. But, not many. There's a bit of a cold patch on December 19th, also January 22th and 23rd. But, is it only me? Aren't the lowest troughs below the bottom blue line considerably smaller than the spikes above the maximum blue line? It sure looks like it to me. And, some of those spikes are savagely high. The lowest temperature in Beijing this winter was -14 degrees celsius, about 6 degrees fahrenheit. Trust me, I remember the night that happened vividly - December 19th 2008. I didn't want to go jogging that night. I had the habit of going jogging every day at the time usually after midnight around my neighbourhood in Dongzhimen, in Beijing. I think sense took hold of me and I canceled the foolhardy undertaking. But, even that lowest temperature was still only 4 degrees below the lowest average temperature for that night for that time of the year. Meantime, look at the spikes. Like 2 days ago. About 16 degrees higher than average for that time of year. 16 degrees celsius higher (or nearly 30 degrees fahrenheit higher!). Quite incredible. And look. Temperatures two days ago, March 18th, stayed up in the 20+ celsius region until after midnight!! By the time, I went for a nocturnal jog at 2 o'clock that morning, temperatures had fallen moderately to about 13 degrees celsius.. Very nice.

It's true, the sceptics will say, okay, look at the cold spell from February 14th to February 24th. Okay, yes. I see. The maximum temperatures during those days were well well below the average maximum temperatures, maybe 7 degrees celsius on some days. Also, the cold spell from January 22nd to January 24th and the really really cold day of December 21st, where apparently the maximum temperature of that day fell below the minimum average temperature for that time of the year. Indeed, the maximum temperature during those cold spells from January 22nd to January 24th and December 21st were maybe 10 degrees celsius below the average maximum temperature for that time of year. Point taken. But, I still think, on balance, the 4 screendumps above show that global warming is indeed taking place in Beijing (as it is around the world) and is continuing to take place. If records are to be broken, they'll be in the direction of setting new warmest day records for a given date rather than coldest day records for a given date.

Hot Youtube Video.

2009-03-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

I usually prefer the Asian women... But, here's a hot European Woman.... I'm sure the Chinese guys will enjoy this one. Her name is Alizee. Vivre Le French.

Looking back to Ireland.

2009-03-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

I suppose I shouldn't forget where I come from. I'm from Ireland. I grew up in Ireland. I now live in China. Today, I was watching an immensely interesting film called "The Wind that Shakes the Barley".

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460989/

Damn interesting.

Here's some screenshots below.

Well, it's set during the Irish struggle for independence from the British Empire from 1919 to 1921. It's about two brothers, Damien, played by Cillian Murphy (handsome guy with impossibly blue eyes) and Teddy, played by Patraic Delaney. They fight against the vicious British army, the notorious Black and Tans. Then, in 1921, a treaty is signed between the Irish and the British. In Ireland, Sinn Fein divide into the Pro-Treatyites and the Anti-Treatyites. One brother, Damien, opposes the treaty, the other brother, Teddy, supports it. In the end, Damien fights against the the pro-Treaty forces. He's captured and he is shot. The order to shoot him is given by his own brother, Teddy. Yeah, the Irish Civil War was won in the end by the pro-Treaty forces but it often pitted brother against brother and rented families apart. The film was directed by Ken Loach, a talented director.. The film is interesting because it gives an anti-Treaty perspective. Previous films, including the one Liam Neeson starred in, about Michael Collins gave a pro-Treaty slant.

The treaty that was signed in January 1921 I think, gave the Irish Free State a lot of autonomy in customs, taxation, the economy and internal affairs but it partitioned Ireland into Northern Ireland which remained a part of the United Kingdom and the Irish Free State which, nonetheless, remained a part of the British Empire. Elected members to Dail Eireann had to continue to swear an oath of allegience to the King of England. The supporters of the Treaty believed that the treaty, while not perfect, was a stepping stone to a Republic later. They feared that Britain would never give Ireland complete independence because they believed that if Britain were to do that, then they would have to give independence to the rest of their tenuous Empire too. They believed that that was an impossible concession for the Brits to make to them. (&)

It was an interesting movie.

Other news from Ireland today. I was checking out the yahoo portal and I came across this saddening news.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090318/ap_on_re_eu/eu_ireland_st_patrick_s_mayhem

Sad to read that so many St. Patrick's Day revelers were breaking the law. I'm afraid that there is a culture of violence amongst a large section of the youth, not just in Northern Ireland but in the Republic of Ireland too. It's a pity the police had to put on their riot gear. I should also put it on the record how sad I am that terrorists called the Real IRA and the Continuity IRA murdered British soldiers and a policeman recently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_Massereene_Barracks_shooting

I hope the perpetrators are caught and brought to justice. I was nonetheless heartened by the large demonstration for peace that came together to protest the wanton violence.

http://www.theherald.co.uk/news/news/display.var.2494897.0.Protest_in_Belfast_draws_thousands.php

(&) I think many Chinese people, including the fenqing, like the film...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fenqing

The attack of Summer.

2009-03-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

Ah, just when I thought records won't be broken, records are broken. Today, temperatures rose during the day to 28 degrees celsius, that's 80 plus degrees fahrenheit!! That's 16 degrees celsius I think about the average for this time of year. Yeah, this is GLOBAL WARMING folks. Here's a screen dump I took today from weatherunderground.com .

And, here's a useful chart showing the weather so far this month in Beijing. Note the 18th of March, 2009. 80 degrees fahrenheit when the average high temperature for this time of year is only 53 degrees fahrenheit, that is, about 12 degrees celsius. Who can possibly deny global warming is not under way?

Yes, to be sure, there were some cold days during this winter. But, to the best of my recollection, there were some cold days where temperatures were maybe 3 or 4 degrees below the average coldest temperature of the day for example at that given time. I recall the coldest temperature in Beijing was 8 degrees fahrenheit, which is about -14 degrees celsius where the average coldest temperature was -10 degrees fahrenheit. I think that was at the end of December. But, the warm spikes in the weather are a lot more prominent than the cold troughs. Such as yesterday. 16 degrees ABOVE average highest temperature for this time of year.

Wow, anyway, about 4 o'clock, I decided to go out to enjoy the sun, cycle to Wangfujing street in Beijing from my apartment. I stupidly wore my long johns. A winter habit. Lovely day. 28 degrees celsius. I had to get reacquainted with this warm weather. I haven't experienced the like since, well, last September. It was nice I suppose. I was overdressed despite getting rid of my jumper. Later, I developed a rash between my legs from rubbing my legs together. Very uncomfortable tonight when I was showering and going for a jog before that. I usually develop this rash during a hot summer in Ireland. Who would have imagined that I would develop this rash before the second third of March had finished. I recall just days ago there were wintery conditions. Summer has taken Beijing by storm.

Well, it's forecast to cool down a bit in the days ahead. A bit. Temperatures (highest temperatures) should stay above 60 degrees fahrenheit thought which is still higher than the average highest temperature for this time of year. Nice pleasant temperature. If anything today was too warm.

Winter retreats. Saint Paddy's Day.

2009-03-17T13:36:00.001-07:00

For want of anything better to do today, I took these two screen dumps yesterday from weatherunderground. Today, in Beijing, we had the warmest day of the year so far. Day time temperatures reached 73 degrees fahrenheit, about 22+ degrees celsius by 3 o'clock or so. Unfortunately, I stayed indoors all day. . Anyho. Wow. 70 degrees fahrenheit broken already. This is testament to how quickly the winter breaks in Beijing and the summer under way. If anything the summer in Beijing lasts at least a good month longer than the winter does. And the Spring and Autumn are just quick transition periods. The first screen dump shows Canada and you can see that even in the permafrosted backlands of Ontario, the tentacles of Spring have reached.

Anyway, I know writing about the weather in incredibly mundane. Perhaps, you know, I'm without anything better to talk about. I reckon I do have strong opinions but sometimes I just couldn't be arsed expressing them.

Well, as an Irishman, I guess I should wish all my readers a happy St. Paddy's Day, even though it's now a day late!!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day, y'all.

My Trip to Ba Da Chu with Alma.

2009-03-16T13:27:00.001-07:00

Once again, I must thank Alma for showing me around Ba Da Chu in Beijing on Saturday afternoon. I also met her on Sunday evening. Very beautiful lady. We met up at Jishuitan subway station at 1:30 to go to Ba Da Chu. Unfortunately, most of the day was already over by the time we arrived. But, anyway, we got to visit 4 temples of the 8 available by the time we left. We did a lot of climbing around the periphery of the park. The cable car wasn't open yet. I bought a souvenir. I bought a bubble gun which I thought Alma would be impressed with. . I think we arrived at Ba Da Chu park around 3 o'clock on Saturday afternoon. It was kinda Spring like temperature, about 13 degrees celsius according to Alma, not bad. The sun was warm in our faces. The air was fresh. We did a lot of walking. I was coming down with the flu but I think I'm reasonably fit with my jogging so it was okay for me to walk around the steep hills. Alma managed too.

(above) Nice Toys. Try to put a hoop around each toy.

(above) Photo taken just after we arrived at Ba Da Chu.

(above) Photo taken just before we arrived at the gate to Ba Da Chu (after we got off the 347 bus from Jishuitan)

(above) Lovely view from a hill on Ba Da Chu.

Yup, we met at Jishuitan subway station and took the 347 bus to Ba Da Chu.. Good bus the 347. We got on at the terminal/first station at Jishuitan so we were able to get a seat. It took oh maybe 45 minutes to get to its destination. Ba Da Chu was also conveniently the terminal station of the bus line.

So, anyway, I think we were at Ba Da Chu park from maybe 2:45 pm to 7 pm. By the time, we left the park, it was nearly dark and it was getting pretty chilly. Annoyingly, we couldn't find a taxi!!! I'm so used to hailing taxis in Dongzhimen with relative ease. But, here, way outside the 4th Beijing ring road, taxies are few and far between. Indeed, outside Ba Da Chu park, when we left as darkness fell, we couldn't find any taxi at all. So, we took a bus which apparently we also infrequent about 4 station towards Beijing where we were told we could find a taxi to take us to a Mongolian restaurant my friend had recommended we visit. Turns out, even there, we'd only see a bloody taxi every 5 minutes or so and it never stopped for us and it was dark and the bloody lights of the cars blinded us so we couldn't even recognise if an approaching car was indeed a taxi or not. Soooo annoying. Anyway, finally, we took a 347 bus further into the city. And, then, for the final leg, we took a taxi to the Mongolian restaurant. Yeah, Mongolian food is good. Apparently, Mongolians like mashed potatoes. My kind of people. They also like milk tea but the salty kind, not the sugary kind we're used to in the West. Anyway, the food was delicious.

The next evening, I met Alma again. I had a bad case of the flu so I couldn't meet her earlier on Sunday. And, she taught me a few Chinese words and I taught her a few English words. I wonder if they'll stick.

Expletives.

2009-03-16T13:26:00.002-07:00

It has occurred to me that I have been using a lot of expletives in recent posts. I'm sorry about that. I just feel frustrated sometimes. [sighs].

My Chest.

2009-03-16T13:26:00.001-07:00

A few days ago, I wrote about feeling a little bit out of breath and breathing harder than I would usually. [sighs]. I think it may in part have been caused by a chest infection I was getting at the time but which wasn't obvious to me at the time. I kinda jumped the gun and wrote that, you know, I may have a constricted artery or something in my chest. I don't think so. Well, I think so but I don't think it is as bad as I thought it might be. Yeah, sure, I don't want to be developing higher blood pressure to high blood pressure from now until I'm 50 years old. I try to exercise every day, that is, I go jogging every day. I hope that that will help keep my blood pressure down and help me to handle the stresses of the day. A constricted artery? I probably have a little bit of that. I read some time back that during World War II, it was found that many of the young dead, 20 somethings or younger, soldiers often had constricted arteries too as if they had been eating too much greasy food.. I guess my arteries do have a bit of, what should I call it, scag or fur or roughage or whatever you call it, on the inside lining. Probably it's so small that, I could rub it between my fingers as if it were just a film but enough to perhapsf, rom time to time, make me feel a little out of breath and labour my breathing. [sighs]. Ah, hell. What to do? I should get a thorough check up now to ascertain if this, indeed, is a problem. That'll cost money. Maybe 6000 rmb in the nearby Sino-Japanese hospital for example. But, money well-spent I guess. And, if it is found that this is indeed a problem, then, well, getting the stent and the angioplasty done will put me back 50000 rmb for one procedure. [sighs]. Anyway, I'm going to jog every day. That's important. (&) You know, only last week, I was thinking to myself, hey, I'm feeling like a million dollars so I don't think I should be so pessimistic about my health now. I think it would be an exaggeration to say that this possible artery constriction in my chest is hindering or undermining my quality of life, leading to a more tense and stressful lifestyle and so on. Human behaviour on the whole causes that, not constricted arteries. But, on the other hand, I shouldn't ignore this possibility either. Perhaps, I do need to nip this in the bud now that I'm young, nearly 35, so that when I turn 50, I'm still in good health and I won't have developing high blood pressure et cetera et cetera by then. Gotta plan ahead for a good quality of life, I reckon.

One thing I can't really put off though is my bloody teeth. (&&) It looks like I need root channel treatment on one of my molars (back bottom left, furtherest back tooth). Damn. It'll cost money but I think I've found a cheap enough dentist. SDM Dental charges exorbitantly. So, I went to the thebeijinger.com forum and I found some info on some cheaper dentists who can do a root channel job cheaper. Just make sure that they don't put, what is it, nickel?, as the filling for the root channel. I hear it (can) cause(s) cancer. No need to put gold in either, I reckon. What I'm saying is, yes, you should and can save money but, hell, don't go too bloody cheap.

(&) Exercise reduces the problem but doesn't solve the problem.
(&&) A little ache tonight.

Winter retreats.

2009-03-16T13:25:00.000-07:00

I took a screenshot of this from weatherunderground yesterday. It looks like winter is seriously on the retreat in North America. It's now been chased right up to the Canadian border!!

And Florida appears to be basking in 80 plus degrees fahrenheit heat. Winter appears to be gone now... Just as well, the Government supplied heat in my apartment has been put off now.

Tips for Foreigners (Part 3)

2009-03-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

Avoid unmetered taxis.

Never get into a taxi in Beijing or anywhere else in China that hasn't got a meter. Never ever!!. Do you want to become a statistic? I was told yesterday by a Chinese friend that in Shenzhen and Guangzhou, some taxi drivers are using a kind of perfume to knock their passengers unconscious and then they are taken to some unknown location, i.e. kidnapped. Then, under a worst case scenario I read happened recently in Mexico, their photo is taken after they've woken up. The photo is sent to the guy's next-of-kin and then they're shot or stabbed to death and then sliced and diced into tiny pieces. Finally, their remains are put unceremoniously into some unmarked location.

I'll tell you how seriously I take this rule of not getting into an unmarked taxi.. Last year, I went to the Great Wall at Simatai with my Chinese friend. It's quite far away from Beijing city, unlike the Great Wall of China at Badaling. We took a bus to Miyun, a small town (I mean, by Chinese standards, with a population of about 500,000, I think) to the north-east of Beijing. After getting off the first bus, we were supposed to get another bus to the Great Wall at Simatai.(&) Anyway, we learned that the last bus to Simatai from Miyun city had already left. While standing at the bus stop, this apparently friendly older guy was barking at us in Chinese to get into his mini van. He was charging an exorbitant rate of I think it was over 100rmb anyway, maybe 150 rmb, I can't remember. But, besides the price, I wouldn't ever have gotten in that mini van under any circumstances. No meter. Best case scenario, he's just trying to fleece us of our money. Worst case scenario, see above. No, my friend and I just went to a nearby "Hao Lun Ge", we ate and then took the next bus back into Beijing again. I resolved to go to Simatai another day. I'd never get in that f**king mini-van. Put myself in his trust and power. Never. If it were a metered taxi, no problem. But, his rickety van, no f**king way. Gawd knows, might be two psychos tucked away in the back of the van, hidden under a blanket.

The important thing here is that it has a meter. In Beijing, most taxis have the green and yellow livery. They're nice. But, the red taxis (and black taxis) are okay too. As long as they have a meter, fine. First words you should say as soon as you get into the taxi is "Da Biao" which means, "turn on the meter". Or you could say "Qing Da Biao" which means, "please turn on the meter". If they're up to shit, get out of the f**king taxi.

When I first came to China, I worked as an English language teacher in this university far away from Beijing. The university offered me a room in their teacher's residence (as one of the perks of the job). But, I got out of the teacher's residence (whilst continuing the job) within 2 months or so because I realised that internet access in the room was censored and monitored and many websites were barred to me and WORSE I even got warning messages TWICE not to visit certain websites. I said to myself, F**k that. Maybe, some lech was even watching and recording my internet surfing and where I was going. Next, I imagined I'd be fired from my job and hauled before a people's court. So, I decided to rent an apartment in Beijing city, quite far away from the university. Thereafter, after finishing work in this university, if I finished late (for example, if I had to go to an English club activity organised by the students in the evening and there would be no scheduled buses back into Beijing), all that was open to me were the f**king unlicensed, unmetered taxis who hung outside the main gate of the university like leeches. In fairness, though undoubtedly they ripped me off with the exorbitant price they charged, they did, at least, take me to where I wanted to go. Ultimately, in that scenario, I had no f**king choice. It was either that, or I would had to stay another night in that university room with its shitty internet access and share the teacher's building with other Westerners (some of whom have a lame prejudice against China and the Chinese people). I wasn't going to spend one more f**king day in that bloody building. Oh, I wanted to get f**king away from that university after finishing my work as quickly as possible, so, in that scenario, yes, I was driven to take the f**king unmetered taxi. Wow, those taxis didn't even have front seatbelts. I always sat in the front passenger seat I recall, unless I was travelling with someone I trusted.

Oh, and that reminds me of another scary incident. Bear in mind, I didn't (and don't) speak much Chinese then. I agreed with this Chinese guy to take his unmetered taxi into Beijing one day (I was in a hurry to get to a dental appointment in the city). He had been incessantly hassling me about it for 10 minutes as I was waiting forlornly for the f**king unreliable bus to arrive. Finally with time pressing, I agreed to take his taxi and so I walked across the road to his taxi and opened the front door to the passenger seat to get in. At the same time, the two back doors also opened as these two young guys (possibly students - I didn't know who they were) also were about to get in. IMMEDIATELY, I got out of the taxi and went back to the bus stop to wait for the bus. The driver kinda came back to me looking a little bit guilty, I think. He didn't speak English and I didn't really speak Chinese so, , communication was pointless at this stage. He offered me half the previously agreed negotiated price but I ignored him. Gawd knows, how that situation would have evolved. I wouldn't take any f**king chance in that situation and I won't either. Jumping out of that taxi then was kinda impulsive, like those protective reflex reactions babys have when something sudden happens to them

When these buggerers want to sell you a service something or other, ignore them. Another thing I've learned since coming to China, these hawkers sell stuff to you at about 10 times the price Chinese people would pay for them. I remember once going to this market a few weeks after first arriving in China and I saw this baseball cap for sale. The saleswoman, a young woman, offered to sell it for something like 40 kuai. That means, I know now, that it's probably in actuality worth only 4 kuai to Chinese people. Anyway, in fairness, maybe, as foreigners, we should give the salespeople a dividend (we're presumably richer than the average Chinese person) but we shouldn't walk way from the situation above paying 40 kuai for a baseball cap or even 20 kuai or 10 kuai! . I didn't even negotiate a price (the girl had hit a jackpot with a stupid foreigner like me) and bought the baseball cap for 40 kuai. Gawd, what a dumbass I was!! I subsequently learned it didn't even fit my f**king big head. I think 8 kuai would have been a fair price. Chinese people would pay 4 kuai. If they give you shit, walk away. Oftentimes, but not always, they'll call you back and make a more reasonable offer to you. Anyway, that's that. Don't let them f**k you over. You gotta learn to be assertive. That's one thing I think I've learned to do more. Be more assertive. Don't let them f**k you over. They don't want to be your best friend forever. They just want your f**king money. It's like Wall Street for Chinese markets. Ignore the shit.

That's that.

(&) Lemme tell you, the Great Wall of Simatai is well worth a visit (I finally went there a few weeks later) but make sure you leave Beijing super early and try to get there by 11 o'clock at the latest because there's a lot of treking to do on the wall (which is steep in places). The last bus back to Beijing from Simatai leaves around 4 o'clock, I think.

The arrival of Spring?

2009-03-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday afternoon, I got up late, as usual (about 2 o'clock). [I had a bad case of the flu]. I checked weatherunderground and much to my shock and pleasant surprise, the temperature outside in Beijing was given as 19 degrees celsius (66 degrees fahrenheit)!!. Wow. About 30 minutes later, I checked again and it had risen to a positively balmy 20 degrees celsius (68 degrees fahrenheit). At around 4 o'clock, I went for a jog around the neighbourhood outside. I decided to dispense with my jumper for the first time. I took this screendump below from the weatherunderground website.

Well, 20 degrees celsius is warmer than most days in Ireland where I come from in July and August. I kid you not. So, yeah, for me, today was like summer!! I think tonight will be the last night that the central heating will be on in my apartment. I guess we'll have some chilly nights yet for about 2 more weeks but come the beginning of April, it should be warm enough indoors at night even with the central heating off.

Tips for Foreigners (Number 2) a.k.a. The Nature of Prejudice.

2009-03-13T12:47:00.001-07:00

Number 2. Don't ever presume to know China.....

I've been in China for 2 and a half years and I haven't even scratched the surface yet of understanding this country yet. I go to discussion forums like thebeijinger discussion forum and other China-related forums and you'll find plenty of neo-conservatives and their willing and unwilling fellow-travellers who write gems like "I've been in China for a year now, and let me tell you, the people here have no sense of service, they're unhygienic, impolite, loud, rude and lack any sense of intimacy" et cetera et cetera. Yeah, like they're barbarians or apes or something. Wanna throw them a banana? Fact is, these people had a prejudice against Chinese people even before they came to China and, by the time they are about to pack their bags and leave, their prejudice has not just NOT gone away but, in fact, in their own imagination, has been reinforced.

That's the thing with prejudice. If you have a prejudice and you are unaware that you have one or are aware that you have one but are just too damn lazy to address it, you look at the world around you through the prism of that prejudice. To take the China example, even before you arrive in China, you think Chinese people are unfriendly and so on, and after you arrive, you pick and choose from facts and circumstances around you in order to validate that prejudice. Inevitably, you will find some selective information to confirm and justify your unchallenged prejudice in your own mind. I like to think when I first came to China 2 and a half years ago, I was open minded about the place and the people. I knew I had a prejudice but I think I have been making an effort to get rid of it. It was and is a formidable task but I want to rise to the challenge.

Anyway, getting back to prejudice. My take on prejudice brings to mind the selective reasons President Bush gave for invading Iraq in March 2003. The real reason I think he invaded was because he wanted to impress his Daddy and because he disapproved of Daddy not finishing the job in 1991 of getting rid of Saddam Hussein after the first Iraq war. Of course, George W. Bush wasn't going to say that. Instead, he cast around to find "intelligence" to fit the case that Saddam Hussein was developing weapons of mass destruction and also that Saddam Hussein was somehow involved in or linked to the planning of the 9/11 attacks by Al-Qaeda. This was Bush's pretext to invade the country. Bush and his cohorts gathered together a hotchpotch of ridiculous "evidence" including supposed "Yellow Cake" in Niger which apparently was being sold to Saddam Hussein to aid his supposed nuclear program and a tip-off from a "insider" in Iraq (who had nonetheless been red-flagged as unreliable by US intelligence agencies) about supposed mobile missile launch units in Iraq. Anyway, after Iraq had been invaded, we subsequently learned that Saddam had no weapons of mass destruction at all and that there was no link between him and Al-Qaeda.

A very good documentary you should watch about Bush's reasons (and lack of) for going to war in Iraq is a Frontline documentary here:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/bushswar/

You can watch it online. It's in two parts.

I love the weather in Beijing.

2009-03-13T11:58:00.000-07:00

I went to www.weatherunderground.com today like I do every day and I saw this 5 day prediction for Beijing's weather.

Wow! By next Tuesday, day time temperature will rise to 26 degrees celsius!!! hallelujah!

That's warmer than Ireland most years. It's warmer than the warmest day in Ireland usually. What I like about the Beijing weather is that it is so unlike the Irish weather. In Ireland, winter can last into June, July and August and, conversely, summer can sneak into December and January. Here in Beijing the seasons are more distinct especially temperature variation. The winter is coming to an end real soon, that's for sure. And, when it does end, it will end with a bang. March and April are always a nice time in Beijing (before day time temperatures just get too too hot by May).

What I've been doing.

2009-03-12T12:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I have more time on my hands these days so more time to write to my blog a whole lot of insignificant things. Anyway, yesterday and today, I decided to install a nice jukebox onto my msn space. You can see it on the right. 5 songs to select from for now. Wow, what a hassle!! Hey, I gotta recommend Mp3Rocket!! It's cool for downloading music. Logo below.

Well, it's now 3 o'clock in the morning and I'm the sort of guy these days who goes to bed way way late. My body clock is way out of wack. I go to bed like 6 o'clock in the morning sometimes, sometimes later than that. 8 o'clock. When, many of the rest of you are having your breakfast and getting ready to go to work.

Today, I was feeling a little out of breath. I'm worried. Is an artery near my heart, located in my chest, clogged up? it sure feels like that to me. Maybe, it's my sugar rich diet. It's not like I don't do exercise. Almost every night, I go for a jog, a brisk jog, 2 and a half times around my neighbourhood block here in Beijing. I'm panting a little hard. This is nothing new. I remember 4 years ago before even going to China, a friend rang me one day, I had just left the cinema and she remarked that I was panting. I wasn't even exercising. I think I had an ECG last year and it showed a slight high blood pressure and there was an irregular blip on the chart. I don't think I'd qualify to be an astronaut. A few weeks ago, I met this stranger here in Beijing who told me she was an expert in both Chinese and western medicine and she took my pulse and she also told me that I had an irregular heartbeat and suggested that my liver was being unnecessarily squeezed. She suggested I do LESS exercise. I replied that I wasn't prepared to do that. In January 2008, I went to a hospital here in Beijing and I started to do some tests. I had a kinda full chest feeling, not a pain, just a full feeling and I was a little worried and, well, my mum was kinda dismissive of my going to the hospital and saying it was a waste of money. In the end, I only did a few tests. Had I stuck it out, more tests would have been done which may (or may not) have suggested that there was indeed a SEVERELY clogged artery somewhere near by heart (I can feel it now that there is!!). For example, ink could have been introduced to my circulatory system in order to ascertain if there were indeed any alarming constrictions. But, my Mum was averse to the cost of all of this. The bloody battery of tests alone I may have had to do would have cost, at least 6000 rmb I think. This is Sino-Japanese friendship hospital. And, then, if I needed just ONE stent or artery widening operation or angioplasty and what not, that would have cost me 50000 rmb. In western hospitals, of course, it would be way higher, I figure. But, my mum was reluctant to shovel out any more for me. And, so I gave up with only half the initial fact finding tests done. The Chinese doctor was laughing at the possibility I may have a problem. I do have a problem!! In the end, I resolved I would do more exercise and eat better food and, I think, all in all, I'm doing that. Recently, I have been jogging like 6 days a week. But, still today, this bad feeling of feeling full in my chest and breathing harder than normal. Gawd, I hate this. I wish I was just, you know, healthy and my doctor will be saying that I have a clean bill of health into my 80s. Not so. Damn.

[sighs]. Anyway, I was searching through old photos over the past few weeks. I'm uploading photos of glamorous women to a photo album I had set up. I suddenly came upon this one below. Wow!!. A symbol of "America"? Stark.

And two more I found.

"America" is a country I have been endeavouring to understand since coming to China. Kinda ironic. But, I guess the Sino-USA relationship is the most important bilateral relationship in the world right now, at least, until India wakes up. I guess it was around December 2007/January 2008 that I started to read the liberal blogs, starting I think with Michael Moore's webblog at http://www.michaelmoore.com . Well, it's not really a webblog, but anyway. From there, I noticed that Michael Moore spoke highly of a video blog called crooksandliars.com and I go there now many times in one day. From there, I started going to the huffingtonpost.com and the dailykos.com. I guess they are the trifecta of top liberal blogs I read right now, huffingtonpost.com (which I think is barred in China right now), dailykos.com and crooksandliars.com. I also read with interest Gleen Greenwald's blog at salon.com. He has a lot of info on the USA and torture. Very interesting. [sighs]. Well, that's that. Recently, I have even been wading into commenting on some of the blogs especially huffingtonpost.com, especially when China comes up for discussion. There's a lot of endemic China-bashing there unfortunately, the sort that arises from ignorance and misunderstanding. The topic of discussion these days is the supposed confrontation between a US Naval ship and Chinese ships in the South China Sea, 80 miles south of Hainan island.... Anyway, that's that.

What else to talk about? Okay, masturbation.. Right, I..... Ah, better leave that to another blog. But, seriously, I read in a serious online publication, yahoo.com?, that there is research that masturbation when done by younger men is bad for them because later on they develop testicular cancer, like, say after they pass 50 years old. Sobering and, for me, scary. Perhaps, I should set up a poll to find out the views of the general public on this matter. What do you think? 1. Masturbation causes cancer. 2. Masturbation, when done by younger men, causes cancer, 3. Masturbation doesn't cause cancer. blaa blaa. Hmm.

Lemme think, what to write about today. Just worried about my health. That was all. Perhaps, I dwell WAY too much on myself. Gotta get more extroverted. Somehow.

Here's a screen capture of Queen Rania of Jordan from an interview she did with Fareed Zakaria of CNN.

A mighty attractive woman. She reminds me of Jessica Alba.

She had some interesting things to say to Fareed Zakaria. For example, she acknowledged that polls both in the West and in the Middle East suggest that people in each region has a dim view of the other. However, other polls suggest that they consider the relationship between West and Middle East to be important. I think that's a very important observation. Well, anyway. What else to write about? Hmm. We'll leave it at that then.

Tips for Foreigners

2009-03-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about this last night but got too lazy so now I'm doing it. I'm going to keep updating this list as time goes on. Since I've been in China for over 2 and a half years now, perhaps, it is time for me to write some tips for other foreigners who might happen to chance upon my blog. Here goes:

1. Avoid Ladybars!!. You walk down Wangfujing Street in Beijing, after 9 o'clock, chances are you are going to be assailed by all manner of people, young, old, men, women and so on offering you the following services, "Massage" (inevitably they pronounce the "e"), "Ladybar", "sex" (which they usually say under their breath after they say "ladybar" or "massage, good time". and so on. Ignore them. Back in January 2007, (I wrote about this on my other blog at http://europeanpaulcarr.spaces.live.com at the time), my Scottish friend and I went to a ladybar after we were assailed by one of these guys near Sanlitun (&) I don't intend to go into the details here. Suffice it to say, we got into a taxi, went off to this off-the-beaten-road place, went downstairs, my friend and I selected 2 girls from the 20 or so on offer... and...we ordered sparingly but, before you f**king know it, all sorts of dishes are placed on the table we never f**king ordered and then, when the girl beside me starts to irrationally panic because I took out my mobile phone and was about to send a text message to a friend (actually she wasn't panicking at all, it was all an act), the manager comes in and insists we pay a grossly inflated bill. My friend and I don't have the money and my friend doesn't have any money in his bank account. Fortunately, I had. We go to the nearby ATM machine with this intimidating looking prick, a young Chinese guy wearing black gloves and I get the money out for them, something like 1300RMB, more than the 400 or so we were originally expecting. They had roughed us around a little when we disputed the bill (especially me) but because we didn't really speak Chinese and they had no English, there was no chance of any real communication.

So hear me now. Avoid Ladybars. Ignore these douchebags who come up to you on the street and try to grab your attention. They operate not just in Wangfujing street in Beijing but around the city. They'll use every f**king trick in the book to grab your attention. For example, just a few days ago, a woman walks up behind me on Wangfujing street saying, "Be careful, your bag!". I stopped, thinking my bag was open and the valuable contents of my bag were falling out. They weren't but then she started to talk to me about other things. Maybe, she wanted to learn some English, fine. Or, maybe, she wanted to introduce a ladybar to me or a massage parlour or a tea place where exorbitant prices are charged that the foreigner doesn't expect until he takes a sip of the tea. (I heard one story over 2 years ago of 2000 RMB being charged to a poor German tourist who just took a sip of the tea). Anyway, I left her then quickly. These guys play on your insecurity. And, yeah, foreigners, I think have a lot of inherent insecurity because they're in a foreign country with limited rights. We don't have rights comparable to Chinese citizens. My stay in China is subject to the provisions of my work visa for example. But, anyway, getting back to the subject at hand. Avoid ladybars. They're criminal enterprises. My friend and I were lucky. We were lucky we didn't become just another statistic, i.e. we weren't shot to death. (&&) These criminal enterprises aren't interested in catering for your carnal pleasures, just stealing as much money as possible from you by hook, line and sinker and being as nasty as possible in doing so. And, yeah, they hate foreigners with a passion. They just love our money. Anyway, avoid these f**ks. So, anyway, that's number 1.

Number 2.

2) Hmm, let me think.

Ah, can't think about number 2 right now. But, anyway, I intend to update this post in the future.

(&) Anyway, I didn't come to China two and a half years ago to start criticising the Chinese government. I have no beef with the Chinese government. These guys crying, "ladybar" and "massage" and so on are crooks. It appears the police don't have the resources to target these crooks enough and put them in jail, fine them stringently enough or otherwise make this enterprise not profitable enough (for now it's very very profitable) and thus put them out of business, at least, not for now. One is still inevitably assailed (I mean approached aggressively) by these crooks whenever one goes to Wangfujing street or other places where there are a lot of foreigners and, therefore, a lot of money to be stolen and extorted. In fairness, foreigners bring it upon ourselves. My friend and I ultimately made a mistake that night. And, it's a mistake I intend not to make again. It's not about sex. It's about stealing your money. Horrible. I guess you can say it's the law of maximum return. These "salesmen"/"saleswomen" assail any foreigner who comes into sight. We're easy to pick out. And, inevitably, they'll pick off a small few who are stupid enough to believe the hocus-pocus or who are inquisitive to know more or are Don Juans or are just plain stupid or want to write later about some dumb escapade. I like to think that last reason was me but, ultimately, that night, I was just plain stupid. Avoid those f**ks.

(&&) That manager scared the f**king death out of me. He was one f**king foreigner hater, let me tell you!!

Winter retreats.

2009-03-10T00:59:00.000-07:00

I was aplanning to write on this 2 days ago. 2 days ago, again we had an unusually warm day. Temperatures during the day rose to 18 degrees celsius. I went out later that afternoon. It definitely had the feel of Spring. Cooled down again though a little. But, Spring is almost upon us. Halleuyah... correction, I think it's spelt, hallelujah. :-).

Yeah, March and April I think are my favourite months in Beijing. Spring suddenly comes back. And, we march rapidly towards Summer. Spring is brief in Beijing compared to Ireland where I come from. By the end of April, day time temperatures will have already galloped up to near or over 30 degrees celsius. Then, I'll be sweating like a stuck-pig again. But, for now, I'm looking for to the increases in temperatures. Perhaps, I ought to go to parks and go on outings with girlfriends? Anyway, I write on a mundane thing, the weather but, you know, the weather is all around us. Why not write on it?

Something I wanna get off my chest.

2009-03-06T23:10:00.001-08:00

From time to time, writing to my blog becomes like a process of catharsis or release. I write about previous regrets and mistakes even if they seem to you and to me like the most trivial of mistakes. Now, I write about one such mistake.

Last year, I was working in this Middle School in Beijing as an English language teacher. A new teacher arrived. She was Filipino. Actually, quite pretty. She came from quite a well-to-do family in Mindanao, the northern most island, near Manila. Her family had a swimming pool for example. Hardly something you would expect from a supposed impoverished country like the Philippines.

Anyway, I don't want to give any identifying details about her. Just to say, I think I tried my best to welcome her to her new job. She told me that she had left her old job in a school in Wangjing and she told me that she was getting paid in the order of 13000 RMB per month in this school (presumably after tax) for just teaching 20 hours per week, Monday to Friday. She taught in the afternoon, she said, I think from 2 to 6 o'clock in the afternoon. It was an ideal job, near her living place, just a short walk away.

She had to leave her job because she was being stalked, she said, by her ex-husband. Apparently, he was paying her unwanted visits after they split up and so she wanted to get away from him as much as possible. So, she quit the job in order, as it were, to burn down a bridge connecting her to her ex-husband who was a Chinese man from Guangdong province.

And, she came to work in my school, taking a significant pay cut. Only 8000 rmb per month after tax.

So, anyway, we were talking about all of this in the school canteen and she told me about this. Naturally, I was curious. I asked something like, "Oh, what's the name of the school?". :-D. Oh, and her answer. I can't remember her exact answer but it may well have been something like, "I can't remember". I kid you not. Apparently, she worked in this one school for 6 years and she can't f**king remember the name of the school. Hmm, maybe, she was suspicious of me and feared I would put her ex-husband in touch with her. I think she said then that "I'll tell you next time.". Yeah, you know how that went. She didn't tell me next time or ever again.

[sighs] In hindsight, I think I should have been skeptical of her story and told her so. I should have told her, "Oh, since you won't tell me the name of the school, I don't believe you.". I wonder if she would have gotten upset with that answer. I should have not f**king cared if she did. Perhaps, I should have just got up and walked to another table to eat my lunch in peace. Anyway, that's what I should have said. But, no, I didn't say that. I just kinda panted like a dog wondering about this wonderschool that pays its teachers such a pathetically high salary (more on that in a minute). As in those cartoon images, my eyes turned into that rolling display you see when you pull the one-armed bandit in the casino, as I thought to myself, "Ka Ching".

She didn't work long at the school I taught in. She arrived I think at the beginning of August 2008 and left at the end of October 2008. Later, she kinda, in my opinion, behaved strangely towards me and finally wouldn't even talk to me for her last month or so at the school. Though, in the final day of her working at our school (the last day of work before the October holiday), finally, she talked to me to say goodbye and we reconciled that we had had a misunderstanding. You see, we had a quarrel of sorts some weeks earlier where she was upset because she thought I didn't respect her because I thought she had taken a book of mine without my permission. Actually, he didn't take a book without my permission (it was an honest misunderstanding) but she overreacted at the time, started crying later in her classroom later, called one of my bosses (I kid you not. Another sign she had no respect for me whatsoever and wanted to intimidate me. B***h!) who, in turn, called me and I was asked to talk with her again. I didn't apologize to her which I'm very glad of, by the way. I had nothing to apologize to her about. I explained to her that I was just trying to talk with her that morning (&) and she got offended... erm... because I tried to talk with her that morning about what I thought was a missing book of mine which I thought mistakenly she had taken without my permission. In fact, she had her own copy of the book which I had mistakenly thought she had taken from me. But, anyway, that's that. Yeah, she thought I didn't respect her. But, the fact is she never respected me. She thought and I think still thinks she's morally superior to me as well as actually being financially superior to me. If she's in financial trouble, she can always call her parents (who own a swimming pool) for bailout money.. In other words, she's one of these dolts who think that material wealth guarantees that one is automatically superior to those who have no material wealth or less of it.

And, I think I can tell you where this disrespect for me all started. Yeah, like almost on that first day, when she pulled a story out of her arse about working in a school part-time for 13000 rmb per month and I, like a Dick, didn't push her more to give me the source, i.e. what's the name of the school. I asked once. She answered with, "Erm, I can't remember." and I let it go at that. She bought me off with the "I'll tell you next time" line and, of course, she didn't tell me next time. Liar!! (She like worked in the f**king school for 6 f**king years and she can't remember the name of the school?) What a stupid f**k, I was. It was like I was giving her carte blanche from there on in to treat me like a piece of shit.

In my mind, she's a prima-donna. She comes from a rich family so she thinks she can put down poor(er) people. And, I like to think of myself as a hard-working and honest person. You shouldn't have believed that crap, Paul. And, another thing, Paul, don't be sympathetic to this woman because she said she was being stalked by her ex-husband and that her present boyfriend was treating her badly too, getting drunk, hanging out more with his "boyfriends" than with her and so on. Oh, what a bitch!!. Incidentally, she left her boyfriend while she was still working in the same school as me And, at one time, she even tearily thanked me for letting me talk to her about that abusive relationship she was in. (&&). She thinks she's superior to me. She kinda reminds me of America's Octomum. "Oh, I'm better than everyone else". She's cute, to be sure, but don't let that move you, Paul. Yeah, I was damn f**king nice to that girl and, after she left the school, I never heard from her again.

She worked in a school near Wangjing for 13000 RMB per month. Bullshit. If it's true, she should have told me the name of the school straight away, if she respected me, but, at the time. the b***h was testing me to see if she needn't respect me and treat me like another one of her "little poor people". What an Idiot I was for believing this crap.

And, she's Filipino. English isn't her first language. It's Tagalog. She had been in China for 6 years up to that time. So, I'm thinking, where is this wonderschool, where is this wonderful school where teachers get such ridiculously high salaries. I tell you were it is: it's lodged up her rear end, waiting for some jackshit to lick it up.

I've heard this story before of Filipinos getting ridiculously high wages working as English language teachers in Beijing, China. About 2 years ago, I was told of 2 Filipinos who taught in a Beijing university I taught in before who were fired because the university's students weren't satisfied with their quality of English and their quality of English tuition. And, I was told by a Chinese teacher there that they moved to another school and, if I'm not mistaken, they were getting something like 20000 rmb for working full time. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Where is this wonder school? I wonder if it's the same one as the one in Wangjing the Filipino woman told me about.

Let me see.. Is it run by a Filipino millionaire/billionaire? Perhaps, he/she is a patron for all the lucky Filipinos in the city of Beijing. Apparently, whoever he/she is, he/she doesn't care about turning a profit for his/her English language school or maybe the English language school is just an unprofitable part of his/her business empire and therefore he/she can cover the losses. So, 2 Filipino teachers leave the university, forced out because apparently they're not good enough teachers of English (there were being paid, I think, just 4000 rmb per month teaching English in this university (&&&) and they find a job in another school in Beijing where they're each getting 20000 rmb for teaching full time and where apparently the Chinese students are happy to be taught by them and, apparently, are willing to pay sky-high fees to receive tuition from them. Sounds fishy to me. Such a school would never turn a profit or want to turn a profit employing teachers like that, (&&&&) teachers who aren't even native English speakers, teachers that students had previously complained about. It's all bullshit to me.

This school is a figment of the imagination, Paul Carr, so don't be suckered into this fantasy. Alas, Paul, come the end of June 2009 when your work visa expires, it looks like you going to have to find a relatively low paying full-time job of maybe 8000 rmb per month if you're lucky for another year if you want to continue to stay in China. But, I DON'T CARE. I didn't come to China to earn bucketloads of money. If I wanted to makes loads of money, I would have gone to Taiwan or South Korea instead. I came to China to learn about China, learn the language, try to understand this country and culture. Money, bullshit. Filipinos working for such high wages as English language teachers in Beijing. BULLSHIT. And, wow, Paul, apparently, you were suckered in. Don't be such a Jacks**t, in future, Paul.

Maybe, later, I'll find a better paying job but for now, I'm happy with a low-paying job. All I want is an honest employer. That would be good. A straight-talking employer. I'm sure there are plenty around even if the salary offer is low. These high paying jobs for Filipinos. Bullshit. They just exist in the imaginations of prima donnas and shrinking violets.

[sighs]. Glad I got that off my chest. Sorry to get angry. But, I feel this is one of the purposes of keeping a blog. :-D It's not like I want to deliberatly target Filipinos.

(&) And another f**king thing, she went to the same Chinese unofficial unregistered church as the boss she called. Always be suspicious of "Christians" like these...

(&&) This boyfriend of hers was Australian. Apparently, he was a big big guy. Huge guy. The Filipino girl was little more than 155 cm. He was over 190cm. And, apparently, he was a f**king control freak, insisting that she didn't go to the bar to meet her girlfriends. But, he could go to the bar to meet his lad friends, no problem. What a f**king prick!! Talk about double standards. He was a big fat guy. Loved drinking and had a problem with alcohol which, I think, must be a big big problem in Australia generally. And, yeah, I think the Filipino girl told me that he hit her, despite the hugh size difference. He must be three times her mass!! Wow, I come from Ireland where there is this lad culture, this drinking culture amongst young people. It seems to be just as bad if not worse in Australia. Anyway, this Filipino met him in a bar and soon they were living together. And, ffrom what she told me (I never got his side of the story because I never met him (thankfully), he treated her terribly from almost the beginning. He was a lot younger than her: only 22 or so. She is 28, I think. Clearly, he was immature. and, as I told her, also STUPID. And, finally, the Filipino girl left her. I applauded her for her decision but, apparently, the Australian guy's mother wasn't so pleased and e-mailed to explain her boyfriend's violent and erratic (and childish) behaviour and ask her not to leave her. Clearly, the Australian (ex-boyfriend now) was upset and called mammy to boohoo. But, the Filipino stuck with her decision and left him and fair play to her. The Filipino told me that he treated her like his mum and she behaved like his mum to him. Gawd, what a pathetic lump of shit he was. And, yeah, apparently they first time they met, sorry it was not in the bar, I correct that, it was in this "wonderschool" that I talked about before with the pathetically high wages. But, he apparently wasn't so good a teacher, despite being a native English speaker. He would show up with alcohol on his breath and possibly even drunk for some classes (pathetically high wages does that to "teachers") and so he left (maybe fired? just sayin') that supposed high paying job (I don't f**king believe it was high paying) and took a pay-cut apparently working as a bouncer/security guard/bodyguard for Chinese pop-stars and famous celebrities in Beijing. And, that was another reason the Filipino left him: he was making little money (yeah, yeah, less money than her! HeHe) and he wasn't paying his share of the rent. :-).

(&&&) Yeah, I know peanuts. That f**king university was like f**king Sparta. B*****ds. Their philosophy: give teachers a consistent good kicking to maximise performance. What f**king idiots!!. Don't they know that to get the most out of teachers you need to pay them more and then they can do the job they are supposed to be hired for, i.e. teaching high-quality English, and NOT making your f**king company a profit.

(&&&&) What do you call a school like that? - Hmm, a white elephant?